LUMINOSITY

The Glowing Man, Palindrome, And The Tower

2012-03-03T17:55:00.002-08:00

Mike Clelland has done a series of posts on his synchronistic encounters with the 1234 sequence. Oddly enough someone wrote to me recently asking about Mike and the time I received that email was 12:34. I forwarded the screen shot of this email to Mike to further fuel his obsession with the sequence. For me the constant presence has been seeing the palindrome as well as the number 322. This happens so often now that I find it impossible to believe it's simply a matter of chance. For me the palindrome is a symbolic representation of an individual and its Seraph, a kind of mirrored reflection of the bi-unity nature of the individual. It is occuring likely because this has now become the focus of my own metaphysical understanding.

This structure of this bi-unity has now become a matter of some importance to me. Perhaps even the source of the phenomenon itself as the higher communicating to the lower in experience and strange images. I'm not saying that with certainty, just speculation. From a fairly young age I had enough experience to realize that I wasn't alone within myself. Still, with these many examples I just kind of glossed over the matter. When I nearly died at 14 in a drowning incident, I split into two people as I sunk to the bottom of a public swimming pool. I remember the thought coming into one of my minds, "there are two of us!" But how is that possible? How can anyone reconcile that understanding of themself?

A couple years ago, I don't remember when exactly, this idea once again came forward as I awoke too quickly and realized that there were again two distinct people that "I" existed as. One "I" was at the physical end of the spectrum and the other "I" was a kind of quiet observer. That night I remembered thinking that I was not supposed to be awake. So I did what I have done in the past when confronted by the presence of people that looked like they stepped off a spaceship. I just went back to sleep. And in these innocent little meetings, which I never put much thought to until now, the pinnacle of my understanding is put forth: humanity as it now stands is missing a part of itself. It is for this reason we know very little of where we come from and it is for this reason we experience suffering.

When I read some of the posts I have made here they come off as rough and disjointed. I can tell by reading them that there are many ideas floating in my mind when I wrote them, things that I sometimes have difficulty reconciling or putting together.  This evening I told a friend of mine, a reader of this blog that I now strongly suspect that individuation (as Carl Jung described) isn't a matter of becoming a whole individual, but integrating an already ascendant and fully matured individual, the Seraph, into ourselves. When these worlds collide, the subtle and the gross, very strange things will often take shape.

In 2007 long before I ever decided to write about these things I went on a camping trip near Green Bay, Wisconsin. As I sat by the fire one night I kept seeing the shape of a short man (about 5ft tall) that moved so quickly that all I saw was a standing image in the form of a glowing figure every few moments around my camp. One second he'd lead with his right leg. Then from another spot I'd see his left leg forward. It was like seeing a flashcube going off and the image that was left behind on the retina was in the shape of a man. This continued every few minutes for nearly an hour. I began to talk aloud in the hopes that this elemental (which was what I called them then) would perhaps engage me in some sort of interaction. While I was scared out of my mind I remained in that spot all night. During the night I had a dream that a glowing airship flew over the trees of my camp. From there I was lifted above the earth.  During this dream I was speaking to what I thought was a single flame of fire within a glass cube. I call this a dream because that is exactly what it felt like. I ascribe nothing more to it. It was only a couple years later that I understood the symbol of a tongue of flame in a cube.  As I go back to these older experiences, they are only now beginning to make more sense.

When this blog began I attempted to lay out a series of experiences that truly haunted me. I began this blog about a week after moving back to my old house. Shortly before that I had been put on a rolling layoff at work and was forced to move my family in with relatives, which was not easy for me considering I had been pretty much self-reliant since I was 17. As I got into the darker experiences, I found that I was practically emanating fear. Yet still as I moved further into the phenomenon, it slowly began to get more mystical and at times exhilarating. There were summer nights when I could all but see "them" in my backyard swinging around playfully in the trees. I was very much drawn to them. There were moments where my wife and I would stand in front of our bedroom window or outside in our driveway watching lights strobe different colors in a celestial light show. Not more than a couple weeks ago my wife was driving home from work and called me to tell me that my "friends" were playing in the sky again. When I went outside to look I found that what she was referring to was the star Sirius doing this outrageous pulsating of various colors. I am quite certain I was looking at Sirius that night, and I am even more certain that the star wasn't doing this for everyone that was looking at it at that moment. How does one define such experiences or how do they define reality for that matter?

For me the issue wasn't being subjected to painful medical procedures at the hands of aliens. The issue for me has been snippets of experience that don't jibe with consensus reality. These have included being sucked into aerial craft, meeting strange looking people, being communicated with by strobing lights in the sky, entering into world of crisp clarity and perfection, missing time, being drawn to a particular area, synchronicity, and many other things. I consider all of it a meta phenomenon coming from a single source. I do wonder if perhaps even my encounters with those that appear deformed and evil are a part of this subtle communique. Perhaps they are even representations of my own inner demons. I'm not set in stone on any of this. The more I have dealt with my fear and disbelief, the more rich the experience has become and the more rare the appearance of the dark. I suspect that this is all a part of the catharsis that occurs when the Seraph is emanating its presence into the world, its world being the individual human being that it is tied to as long as that person lives.

Speaking of being drawn to strange places. Looks like someone has a very strange love for the elevator at Montauk Tower. I may be equally obsessed because I actually watched the whole thing and found it oddly interesting.

For those that don't know I have a very strange affinity for the Tower in Montauk. I have dreamed about it as a kid before I even knew it actually existed. Having visited last summer I can say with great certainty that I have never set foot in a place that exuded such sacredness to me. Exactly what it all means I haven't even begun to figure it out.

3/22 is approaching and since it falls on the day of the new moon, I suspect it will be very interesting. 3/22 is a number I see quite frequently and it is also the date of my first encounter with the very idea of "The Posthuman Self".(read by Mike C.) For the last several months this number, much like the palindrome has figured heavily into my daily life when it comes to synchronicity. Furthermore there have been other instances that are pointing to 3/22 being another major event for me.  At the moment I don't want to get too far ahead of myself or add hype to a non-event so I'll leave it there.

The Meeting At Chinvat Bridge

2012-02-29T17:02:00.002-08:00

Since I restarted this blog and began writing about the idea of the Seraph, the amount of hits this blog received has essentially dropped. While I have picked up more esoterically minded readers, it seems that some of my older readers who were heavily into the more exoteric angle of this blog have been disappointed. While I am indeed sorry for that, the flow of things must go on their proper course.

In the mid 1990s, I began to have dreams about seeing two suns in the sky. Over the last two years I have vaguely touched upon this idea and what it might have meant. I also explained that a large group of people were experiencing very similar dreams and visions around the same time. The last two-sun dream I had was seeing my parents standing together facing what appeared to be an "eternal double sunrise" while a strange but very beautiful melody was playing in the background. The dream itself was brief, but it had that very pronounced "apocalyptic" feeling to it. By apocalyptic I am not using that word to express something negative, but rather the completion or revelation of the mystique.

What I didn't understand about this dream at the time was why there was such a pronounced feeling of awe at seeing my mom and dad together in this apparently new world with two suns. When I go back to that dream, it now seems very clear that it was taking place perhaps after some major event had occurred. One that likely caused the melding between the physical domain and the Pleroma, which I suspect is metaphysically speaking the final great work which all things are essentially being reconciled to as we speak. This Pleroma, for lack of a more contemporary word, is the Archetypal world, the completed or perfected world of "fullness" whereas the physical domain is a kind of symbol of that world, an incomplete picture as it were.

A while back my mom wrote me a letter describing an event that happened when she was in her late 20s or early 30s. I had asked her to write it down for me so that I could remember it and record it for the sake of having it for future reference. I was one of the only people she had ever told about this event. As shallowly religious as she sometimes was, this letter was enormously important to me because the potency behind her narrative revealed that the experience had meant a lot to her. Through a very unfortunate mix up the letter was thrown away and I am very much broken up about that all these months later.  The letter detailed a memory of her life before she was born. In the experience she was standing or lying near a fountain of water that smelled so pure that looking back she knew that nothing on earth could hold such purity.

On one occasion she made a comment about "nature being perfected" there. Exactly where "there" was she didn't know exactly, only that it was "pure" and "wonderful". Somewhere in the background of this beautiful place there was a divine presence, someone that she was very attached to in a loving and intimate way. She was told by this presence that she was going to be leaving shortly (presumeably to be born into the physical) and that she needn't worry. The voice told her that she would live a relatively short life and would return "home" once again. She was very saddened by having to leave, but there was a reason for it. Exactly what that reason is, I can't pretend to know and neither did she. In all the years I had known her, and we were always close, she had never lied to me or embellished any story she told me. Her total honesty and openness was a natural part of her personality.   We had discussed this memory on many occasions and I often told her some of the things I was dealing with.  For many years she showed great concern about the things I told her and who could blame her. On one of the last occasions we ever got into talking about "spiritual things" I had asked her who she thought the other being was was near the fountain.   Her response was that it was probably "my angel" or "the angel". This conversation was likely at a time when I was just beginning to understand this relationship. What was certain, however, was that my Mom had a strong affinity to Angels. The last thing she ever handed to me was a pewter key chain with an Angel blowing a trumpet that said, "His angels have charge over thee."

Looking back now it is all too clear that everything she told me about this experience falls in line traditionally with the Zoroastrian idea of the Fravashi. At some point a theophany of God, a divine light (the human individual in its totality) makes a decision to separate itself into two parts. One part remains in the Pleroma, and the other essentially fractures to earth. A great article touching upon some of this can be found here. I highly recommend taking the time to read it. This fracturing occurs by some mode of necessity (?) that we will likely not know until each of us crosses Chinvat Bridge to either be united to our Seraph in a homecoming that will be the most profound moment of our existence or the most ghastly.

Since June/July of last year I have entered what I can only say is that "nature perfected" on at least a dozen occasions. This mostly happens in my sleep, but has happened spontaneously on two occasions while I was sitting down reading. I believe that this has occurred only because I have over the years managed to establish peace within myself through a long process of confrontation and reconciliation. This has included putting an end to a lot of the overt hostility I held, personal hatreds I entertained, and deep-seated fears I suffered. Whereas my first reaction when someone wronged me was to get back at them, I have learned to largely forgive them even when they haven't asked for that forgiveness and could care less about receiving it. In a word, I have lessened the signal of my animosity which seemed to call in some of the darkest and frightening experiences. I often wonder if the entire encounter phenomenon is in fact produced by our celestial counterpart as a way of drawing us in toward some magnetic mystique that causes us to become literally obsessed with the phenomenon. How we use that obsession is what ultimately decides our success or failure. Will we take it to the logical conclusion, or become set in some dogmatic form that gives the mystique its death blow? One thing is certain, most "spiritual forms" today will fail to reach the deepest aspects of the human soul because once the "law" has been established, the only purpose of any system becomes control.

Since the late 1990s I have been associated directly and indirectly with various groups in the occult realm. While I was initiated solely into one Order, there were times when I contacted people in the occult world in those days for various reasons. Most of those groups at that time (in my opinion) still retained a piece of what I would call primordial wisdom. At the very least a person could say that these groups had something in their possession that was not common. Over the years I watched as these valid groups gradually disappeared. The old time initiatic orders that held honor and chivalry in such high regard lost out to groups like the O.T.O and Golden Dawn who were really just teaching the same old hat, the same old teachings of medieval sorcery and kabbalah adapted to modern minds.

There was a very big difference between the Aspirants that belonged to Crowleyanity and other mainstream organizations like the AMORC and those that belonged to a valid initiatory Order. In the case of the AMORC we saw a cheap initiatic knowledge literally being sold for money. In the case of one Thelema group a close friend of ours was asked to send in naked pictures of herself along with being told that she would have to "leave her vagina open for everyone" if she sought to be initiated in their "holy order". Admittedly, it is not very difficult to find the "secret" teachings of groups like the OTO and AMORC among many others.

Why am I bringing this up? Well, the problem is that this loss of initiatic validity is actually a sign that the present order of things has crumbled almost completely. Without that substratum, without those currents that essentially uphold both peace and order, the foundation of things truly begins to fall. Every physical event has a metaphysical correspondence. This has nothing to do with groups and organizations, or if they are valid or not. It has to do soley with the connection of human beings to the Pleroma. This link between our world and that world is collapsing. This is obviously not good because once this cord is severed, this world is finished. Curiously enough, the message found in the famous Crabwood Farm crop circle is:

"Beware the bearers of FALSE gifts & their BROKEN PROMISES. Much PAIN but still time. BELIEVE. There is GOOD out there. We oppose DECEPTION. COnduit CLOSING"

I have stated before that I believe this crop circle is real and not a hoax. And even if it were a hoax, I would still say that the message itself is important. Is it possible that there are Seraphic or "Pleromic" beings attempting to make some type of connection before the "conduit closes" and our present world gets flushed down the drain?   Certainly anything is possible. I am a firm believer that parts of the encounter phenomenon are absolutely physical. My own experiences, some which have been shared, really leave me no other option. The message above, which was left in binary code has that apocalyptic flavor. It goes without saying these days that all of us seem to know on some level that something big is approaching. Whatever that "event" is remains a matter of personal speculation. In many of my earlier experiences where I explained that it felt as if I was being downloaded information while I slept, the idea that some form of intelligence was communicating in ASCII and Binary code was definitely one part of the information I had retrieved.  One of the projects I was working on outside of this blog dealt with these codes.

Ultimately, I think the issue at hand is that for generations we have been getting cut off from the divine world. In fact, without sounding too Gnostic, I have recently begun to wonder if this world is indeed a kind of half-truth. I have wondered if maybe posts like this one are leading me toward a gradual understanding that I have been dreaming for a long time and my own Seraph has begun to awaken me from this long dream.

...But it takes so long

2012-02-25T19:06:00.007-08:00

...But it takes so long, my Lord.

Every time I hear that song by George Harrison I can appreciate the yearning Harrison had to know God, yet at the same time I find myself somewhat put off by the spiritual tone of the song itself. Certain parts of that song, especially when Harrison sings, "I really want to be with you" and "Really want to go with you" are feelings I have felt intensely over the years. Anyone that has experienced that feeling of divine presence understands that there is nothing in this world like it, and while in its presence there is nothing else that matters. A person would be willing to give up their life and everything they own without question and in the blinking of an eye. Many years ago my wife had walked in on me during one of these moments. I was so deeply lost in tears of joyous bliss that I put my hand up in front of my face and begged her to not look at me. She had never seen me cry before and I really didn't want to go into it at the time. For days after that event several people kept saying strange things about how clean my face looked. My face is always clean, so I'm not sure what the context of that was. To Harrison's credit, he was right when he sang "but it takes so long." I suspect it's the whole Hare Krishna thing that really turns me off.

I think that it is getting more difficult by the day to consider that the world we are presently living in is a crystallization or solidification of a world that is far more beautiful and pristine, a perfect world without dimension and therefore incorruptible and timeless. A world where the sun is not a huge ball of hot gas, but rather the very presence of the divine shining upon all the beings that behold it. The physical domain is only a symbol of that world, it conveys only a part of that perfection.  Knowing the physical domain today, with all of its dehumanizing and violent realities, the belief in such a place, a celestial earth without limits, becomes almost laughable to most people. And to go on and tell them that every man, woman, and child is actually the second half of another being is libel to cause one to be laughed to scorn.

That is the whole problem really. Science, over-rationalization, and reduction have closed us off not only from the totality of the physical domain, but almost completely from the celestial earth, which is really the source of this world. With every passing year, the physical domain actually becomes more distant from its point of origin and we convince ourselves that this ordinary life is all there is. We grow to believe in a rigid historicity and scientific view of existence thereby cutting ourselves off from truly wonderful things that exist just behind the appearances of things. But it's not just science, atheism and the rest, it is modern spirituality as well, a spirituality that is so riddled with errors and lies that it can only contribute to the chaos that already abounds in the human being.

I have found that with every passing year people feel homesick. This is a difficult state to explain. It is like being homesick while home, almost as if while you were away a fake world made to look like your home was created, but not created quite right. The overwhelming consensus is "things aren't what they used to be" or "time has sped up". People are all to quick to simply dismiss this as a trait that comes with age. Not all people are so quick to dismiss it as that. Most of the people I have talked to about this say that a "change" occurred between 2000-2002. After that point it was like living in a different place.  The homesick soul will generally look back twelve years into the past with the stunning realization that something big occurred (but what?), something that caused us to enter into a world that seems almost foreign or perhaps even fake. Personally, I don't think that is too far from the truth.

The physical world has entered a terminal phase. It has fallen exponentially further away from the Celestial Earth, which is now often reflected only in the memories of our past or childhood rather than in the outward forms of modern spirituality and religion. The profundity of this shouldn't be underestimated. It is all too clear that something has indeed changed in us and how we view our environment. Today major wars are fought and few seem to care.  Major world crises happen weekly and most people are completely unmoved. If this reveals anything it is how withdrawn humanity has become from the going-ons of the present reality. Could it be that we have now begun to understand just how far away from home we actually are?  There is something of a curse in all of this as well. Some people tend to seek answers for their homesickness, while others follow the tendency toward hedonism and escapism, which is really just the tendency toward vapidness and further solidification away from the primordial celestial earth.

Rene Guenon was likely correct when he stated that the physical domain cannot exist without having some connection to its divine substratum. In other words it can only separate from the Celestial Earth to a limit before a major event happens. Once that limit is reached, the eschaton occurs. It is the single moment of separation when the physical domain moves too far away from its celestial origin and will no longer be able to abide on its own. We are already seeing this occur in various place such as sink hole epidemics, nuclear catastrophes, the sun acting strangely, economic collapse, mental illness, and etc. Ultimately there is an increase in bad luck and strange events. In that final moment, every atom and sub-atomic particle, everything seen and unseen, will lose cohesion and the material world will fall apart like sand. When this occurs, and it will most likely occur in a single instant, there will no longer be time or space as we understand them. Everything that is NOT made up of gross matter (personality, compulsions, habits, fears) will remain to compose the world the being will inhabit. Therefore, whatever "sins" one fails to put away in the physical domain will haunt them beyond. Within these feelings of hate and fear there are entire post-mortem civilizations living within them, in grayworlds that lack beauty and meaning. They exist as a strange mimicry of this world, but the sun is never present in those worlds. Anytime a living person partakes in a specific mode of thinking, he immediately connects to everything present in those shady places.

The real problem today, however, is that between the physical domain and the celestial earth there is a dark cloud gathering, a cloud that has largely succeeded in blotting out the light that has connected to this world in past epochs. With every death, that cloud grows more dense. It is made up of beings that are victims of the modern world, fearful souls unable to traverse one of the initial stages of death, which is a confrontation with the base creative function of human individuality, lust. This lust is essentially exposed just before the light from the sun in the Celestial Earth illuminates the human soul. It is at this point, depending on the individual that a person feels an immense amount of shame that causes them to retreat back to their old existence. Since that existence is terminated and the being is largely cut off from the Celestial Earth, they inhabit the shadow world where they still have the ability to manipulate the "mindspace" of living people. Generally speaking, the people suffering from sexual addiction and perversion are the ones in the company of these now highly parasitic posthumans.

Experiences With The Dark

During the time of my darkest encounter experiences, there was always this odd feeling that I was dealing with beings that conveyed being frail and elderly. In an early post on Luminosity, I described an event where I had been driven a long distance to pick up a friend that willingly disappeared for a time. I went to a house where I encountered a small group of "them" in what I still believe was a real physical event where they were spatially present. It felt as though I had walked into house occupied by psychopaths whose insanity emanated throughout the house. The young girls in the house were very frantic and afraid of the men that were sitting in one of the rooms. The overwhelming sense of this experience is that the girls had been drugged, but I don't know for certain if there is any such thing as "drugged by fear". Things began to quickly feel dream-like, I remember thinking for several moments that I had been drugged and getting very scared.

At one point I pulled a lead slapper out of my coat pocket to which one of them said, "that won't do you any good here, little one." There was a more disturbing aspect to this as well. Not only did they appear old, there was this sense that they were perverts. I say this based on the fact that the girls appeared to be there as some type of entertainment. Furthermore the girls had dark coloring on their faces. While I can't be certain I will say that I strongly suspect this was menstrual blood, at least that's what I may have been told. What these girls were doing at that house was beyond me. It was almost as if the entire event was staged to look like some type of party. These presentation type experiences are fairly common. There was a much earlier experience where I was being spoken to through my radio by beings pretending to be reporters. These experiences seem to have a very sinister undercurrent.

As I stated in that early post, whenever I hear the song, "Julie do you love me?" I get a very panicky feeling related solely to my experience in that house. This was the only song I heard playing during this event, and it seemed to be looped. The next thing I remember from that day was walking with my arm around my friend and both of us being heavily disoriented trying to get to the car. When we got into the car, we had almost thrown our other friend (who drove me to the house) out of a moving car because he refused to fill in the blanks. This is the only waking experience I have had that was firmly grounded in reality to some extent where the disorientation and a large part of the experience were had by two people. Whatever happened during this event, I cannot be certain. What I do know is that it is almost a complete blank even now. Can these types of experiences be shared delusions when some type of disembodied intelligence manipulates our mind? Anything is certainly possible. The people I trafficked with in those days were most definitely capable of very odd things that at the time defied my understanding. Needless to say it took me a very long time to move out of these darker experiences and I strongly suspect this was the Wyrd I inherited genetically from my ancestors.

In my previous post one comment asked me how I knew that the people I was communicating with in the Archetypal World or Celestial Earth were not the same deceptive entities that channelers are in communication with. To be very clear there is one thing that separates the two. The luminous humans I have come into contact with during my latest experiences do not seek to instill within me a doctrine to give to the world. In fact, I have described them as being like the Stoics in that they seem to view the world and everything that happens as absolutely necessary and therefore the need to intercede or to teach humans some new way of thinking is pointless. Everything I am told I am never able to take into the physical domain because I suspect there is no translation available.

So while channeled entities seem to have the ability to communicate messages to this world, the beings that exist in the numinous world are too complex to even be translated here. Therefore the journey of the individual is not to slavishly accept a "new word" that we can understand, but to forge through the thought territories of the human sphere and transcend them utterly. In this regard language itself and translations of any kind become a way of taking the currents of the numinous domain and once again profaning them via human language, which is by nature limited. This takes a pure message that can only be understood by the higher intellect and makes it less than perfect.

In July of last year while in a dream and wandering the vast grayworlds, I came across a car full of parasitic humans. They told me that they had been looking for men and women to rape. They proceeded to say things that made sense followed by lines of sentences that didn't make sense. The world they inhabit, as I explained, is very similar to the physical domain, but there is not a lot of light there. These entities can retain some order for short periods of time. The supernatural events that occur in this world including UFO sightings tend to follow this rule as well. They can hold shape for a time, but not for a long time. It was clear that these people were highly diminished and their faces very deformed. This seems to occur because any resemblance to beauty or symmetry quickly dies in that world. When they got out of the car and attempted to nab me, I was lifted up by someone that was behind me that somehow pulled me right out of that grayworld. It was at that time that I found myself sitting near a brook in a world that seemed more clear and real than this world.

As I was sitting by this brook I noticed that I felt very light. Not only did I feel light, I felt incredibly healthy and sharp. My thoughts were very quick and spontaneous. My wisdom in that world told me that I was an actualized attribute of God, which ultimately confirmed my metaphysical understanding to begin with, an understanding that was promulgated by Ramanuja long ago. I began to walk a distance and then run. I was amazed by the fluidity of my movements and in a state of inward amazement kept saying to myself, "how is this possible?" Because I have suffered for 16 years with a chronic health condition, this was a very rewarding experience. I have now set foot in this place at least a dozen or more times and have made attempts to steal objects to bring back to show my wife. Nothing from there translates but the feeling of nostalgic mystique and longing.

In a personal email recently a good friend of mine from my old days thought that much of what I am talking about is pure escapism. I replied to him that he had the wrong idea. If anything the change from the gross physical to the true seat or celestial earth is one of pure confrontation. One cannot even get close until they are willing to brutally self-analyze and go face to face with their greatest fears. This confrontation is with the dark waters that exist above this world. The same dark waters that exist in the human psyche that are factually limiting the growth of the human being, which is really a reuniting of the symbol to its archetype.

An Interlude On Channeling

2012-02-21T17:20:00.000-08:00

As many readers are aware, I have extreme misgivings when it comes to channeling and channeled material in general. For all intents and purposes, most channeled material has a feel good kind of message that seems to be a denial of reality to some extent. My personal opinion is that just because a message sounds good doesn't necessarily mean it is true. The messages that often come from channelers are by and large the same new age claptrap as I have illustrated in earlier posts. Furthermore in reading books like Brad Steigers "The Aquarian Revelation" which were basically new age prophecies and material revealed from "higher orders of existence" via channeling and direct communication, 100% of the prophecies (many which were due to arrive in the 1990s) were a total failure. The reality is that the messages of these aliens and ascended masters seldom change with time. It is the same message repeated for a new time.

Last year a very astute reader of this blog referred me to a book by Joe Fisher called, "Siren Call Of Hungry Ghosts", which is a true story about a new age writer that gets caught up in channeling. Little by little Joe Fisher uncovers that he has been lied to by the being being channeled by a particular female channeler. When Fisher begins to investigate the claims made by this entity, he finds that it is all a deception. To make things more sinister, Joe Fisher committed suicide years later and it is speculated that his leaping to his death off a cliff was related to his earlier experiences. It is well known that these types of activities will lead to obsession. Joe Fisher's suicide is not the first one related to "channeled material", I have named others including Don Elkins of the Ra Material fame. One of the parts that went unnoticed in Fisher's book is that the woman that was doing the channeling was already "compromised" spiritually. I say this based on things she said to Joe Fisher and others in the book as well as her intellectual "interests" outside channeling.

                                                             Joe Fisher

Mike C. over at Hidden Experience recently did an intreview with a channeler. I highly recommend that if you haven't heard it already to give it a listen. At the 32 minute mark Mike kicks it up a notch and gets very honest about the rather hokey appearance of channeling. Mike then goes on to say,

"I've seen people make fun of channeling on websites. One of the things they will do in order to point a finger and go "Ha Ha Ha" is post a video from Youtube video of you channeling Bashar."

I'm pretty sure Mike was referring to me in particular with this statement. Admittedly in a previous post I was looking for a video to show something that would reflect my feelings about the goofiness of channeling. But I have more against channeling than just appearances. For me, and this is my opinion only, it represents a low grade kind of spirituality, and a presence that has the tendency to say things that never come to pass or are simply platitudes of a spiritual nature.   The main problem I have with channeling can be summed up in this brief exchange from the interview:

Mike: I almost feel like that in looking a little silly is almost like an initial hurdle. They have to abandon a logical side of their present day psyche to get over that hurdle.

Anka: Yeah. They certainly have to get over the concept of being self-conscious.

I think that this sums up the biggest problem I have with the whole idea of channeling. First of all, I am a very analytical individual. If someone gives me a reason to stop believing in the veracity of their teaching I will cut them off immediately on an intellectual level. I view logic in the same way the Ancient Greeks and Vedantists did. Without logic we tend to believe in everything no matter how outrageous the claim. While reason is NOT the pinnacle of the human psyche, it exists to protect us from threats in the physical domain as well as in the subtle or psycho-spiritual domain. So if someone comes to me (and they have) telling me that I am a hybrid and that my star family is from the Pleiades, I must immediately reject it without question. The problem with entertaining these ideas is that we have to ask ourselves, "Where does it end?" We can either believe all of this nonsense and become insane or we can approach the problem with some fortitude and seek the answers for ourselves. This ultimately means a long and drawn out inner search and confrontation with ourselves.

The other problem that I have is more personal. Having entered into heightened states of existence it is very clear to me that the entities that exist "there" don't communicate to us with "energies" or "messages" of any kind. Nearly all of the entities I have encountered are stoic in their understanding that this world is exactly what it is supposed to be. There are no mistakes here and therefore no reason to intercede. To paraphrase Emmanuel Swedenborg about the entities that do attempt to speak to us, "They are liars.  Everything that comes out of their mouths is a lie." To be clear, I absolutely believe that these channelers are in communication with intelligences that are independent from their personal minds. I am very clearly aware that these beings (most likely human dead) do everything they can to return to the world of the living including deceiving people with ideas that make the human mind more docile and malleable to their influence.

This now raises a question. If Mr. Anka has such a profound message to give to people, why not be more credible about the matter? If people aren't able to get passed the goofiness of the channling process, why not reach for a wider audience by writing a book or claiming the knowledge as his own? If people are in such dire need of this wisdom, why cut off the logical thinking ones? Is Bashar a megalomaniac? Does he need some type of recognition? Or is this a more of a money issue? Exactly how much does it cost to attend a session with Bashar? I'm not making any accusations here. I am simply asking logical questions in regard to outrageous claims. The reality is that channelers are telling us that a superior or ascended intelligence, which would ultimately have power in the created physical domain, are unable to tell the time or prophesize correctly. But even worse, they are limited to the point they can only communicate their presence through a human agent. I hardly believe this to be a superior form of life.  Again, where does the craziness end?

The Believers

2012-02-17T22:47:00.000-08:00

I have heard it said by several bloggers that they aren't concerned about what people's conclusions are in regard to the encounter phenomenon. Since Luminosity began I explained that this point of view troubled me because it takes the process of the encounter phenomenon (the grasping to understand) and then flushes that progression down the toilet. For me, the conclusions are what really count, not the narrative which is really a secondary issue. It is in the process of putting it all together, working it out and thinking it through that the development of the human being ultimately takes place.

While I am a fan of Whitley Strieber's writings, I am not a fan of most of what he stands for and believes in. My personal opinion is that too many people have fawned over him to the point that his narrative has too deeply influenced theirs.   The mystique he has put out through his writing has made him a focal point in all of this for many people. I think that any personal conclusion or experiences derived from others will obviously lack credibility. Since this blog began I have received no less than a handful of abduction accounts that were literally taken word for word out of ufo literature including Strieber's literary corpus. I have found over the years of talking to abductees and contactees that the name Whitley Strieber is ubiquitous. Why this is only troubling to me seems strange. And why others haven't written more about this is frankly shocking. People seem more than happy to overlook this fact because they seem immersed in a kind of cult of personality. As one very astute observer recently wrote to me, "Strieber is the abduction phenomenon". I tend to agree.

Moving on. In the beginning of this blog, I was plagued by two commentors that were "balls to the wall" convinced that this phenomenon was extra-terrestrials from another dimension or planet engaged in some type of covert agenda. Every time I put up a post, I would see these people steer the comments in the ETH direction, even though I was very much uncertain what the source of the experience ultimately was. Every attempt I made to move the experience to a different place lead to such hostility that any further conversation about the matter became impossible. When I stopped allowing comments, because they were becoming too much of the same, the "new" Dan Mitchell according to some became a world class asshole, a judgemental fundamentalist and even a nazi according to one individual that linked my "divisiveness" to Hitler himself, a common last refuge of the intellectual loser.

Even though I am reaching back here, I am not living in the past. The Luminosity narrative has rightly evolved from the exoteric to the esoteric, because that is where the explanation ultimately resides.  Since I re-constituted this blog, I have made far more progress into my own experiences. Certainly I could continue writing about the physical manifestation of the phenomenon, but what purpose does it ultimately serve? Will we continue wondering where these people are coming from or what they are hoping to accomplish with the strange intrusions they carry out? The esoteric cannot be exoterically explainable because it doesn't possess the acumen to do so. If there is one thing I learned in the last two years that is it. But to not sweat the details, to not give a shit about the conclusions that people are drawing is foolish. The conclusion is the whole point.

One gem that Strieber put out is that the phenomenon allows us to think about the profound, which causes changes to occur within us. This idea is not new to Strieber, however. In fact, Strieber somehow manages to lose the golden thread of this idea when he describes this as evolution or progress in the collective human sphere-an evolution that his visitors are largely responsible for, not us. From the time of Blavatsky this whole idea of spiritual evolution became the new fad. Before that time you will find very few references to it. The truth is that man already possesses the totality of his being. The problem in understanding or even realizing this comes in because the modern world is itself a contrivance. Science and religion alike have pushed us into the belief that we are a mind inhabiting and limited by a physical body rather than a mind that is unconditioned, free, and "existing" posterior to the body. A mind that contains the worlds rather than being contained by the world. Upon realizing this startling reality the facade of "spirituality" quickly loses its mystique and the very idea of "spiritual evolution" and existence on this planet becoming enlightened becomes amateur. The human obsession with futurity loses its grip. The world is soon realized as already free, unhindered, and pure. It is only the great contrivance that stands in the way and it is really nothing more than an illusion that both sides, left and right, liberal and conservative, religious and anti-religious use to engage in their masochism fueled by the patterns of fear transferred to us by the blood.

Before I end this brief post I need to explain exactly what I mean by "conclusion". People involved in this phenomenon are often confronted with strange things they don't understand. The other half of the experience is coming to terms with it and trying to understand it.  The encounter phenomenon, whether it is communicating via direct experience, synchronicity, or any other way it is important to keep the dialogue moving forward. This requires that a person doesn't run away from it, but actually thinks about it and draws conclusions, even if they are merely temporary ones. This allows a person to actually put the experience into perspective so that they can ruthlessly attack their own ideas and move on to the next. The further a person goes into this process, the more the mystique behind this phenomenon begins to reveal itself. To surrender to another persons idea is self-limiting. I have tried to stress on this blog that the entire point of the phenomenon is to think it through and work it out. Conclusions, even when they are temporary are more important than the experience itself.   The encounter phenomenon today represents the initiatic currents of old. The problem is that they have been interpreted by people that lack the dynamic to understand them and use them efficiently.

The Divine Breeze Of Presence

2012-02-12T08:31:00.000-08:00

From Dr. Eben Alexander's interview on Skeptiko.com:

I remember having this sensation. It was as if there was a warm summer breeze that just blew by. Then everything changed and the scene stayed the same but I became aware. Again in looking back on it, that was my awareness of a Divine presence of incredibly indescribable, kind of a superpower of divinity. Then we went out of this universe.

From Luminosity, Transfiguration of the Earth:

The breeze that was hitting my body the entire time of this event was sending me into a weird ecstatic inward state. I felt very pleasant and very much indestructible.

and

As we walked across the bridge there was the sense that this other presence was making sure my friends wouldn't fall off and onto the street below us. We made it across the bridge safely, but what was on the other side of the bridge is NOT what is normally there.

Commentary

2012-02-12T07:50:00.000-08:00

I highly recommend that the readers of this blog take a look at this account of an NDE from Curtis K. It ranks by far as one of the most pertinent examples of what I am writing about here on Luminosity. The NDE is immensely interesting to me because it is a direct experience of the strange, not unlike the encounters that take place in the abduction/contactee literature. It touches upon every area, the Seraph, Empathy and the act of Becoming more than oneself at death.

In regard to the empathy that occurs after experiences with the strange, Curtis writes:

I began to experience a kind of hearing of others thoughts. A kind of insight into how each of us forms the elements of collective experience.

The experience of becoming, which occurs at death when a being realizes its own vastness:

I felt myself becoming more and more aware, self-aware. I had feelings of expanding awareness, becoming everything known experiencing everything yet to be known. As this was happening, everything I had been taught, everything I believed in, everything I ever learned or thought throughout the course of my lifetime, fell away from me as if they never held meaning in the first place. This felt ok to me, I had no fear.

Once the limitation of our present state in the temporal-spatial domain has been penetrated, the mind has the tendency to "spread out" allowing this type of thing to become a natural occurrence. Upon coming back from my own event when I was 23, this was exceedingly difficult to deal with and caused very serious internal issues to emerge, mainly depression. I was having great difficulties wondering if certain thoughts and feelings were coming from me or from people around me.

Curtis K. then goes on to say:

As I was losing hold of my life, I felt profoundly sorry for myself. I felt my breathing stop and I felt myself suffocate. As I began to let go, I could feel the difference in my physical body and this other part of me. This other part seemed more intelligent than I knew myself to be. Its heath seems light and perfect, yet I could still feel the ills and abuses inflicted on my physical part. I was profoundly taken, all consumed in the events of the moment.
This is a glimpse of the Seraph, the being that is the source of ones life, it's archetypal form. It is commonly reported upon dying that a person will experience the presence of not one being "within" but rather two. Peter Novak who wrote a book several years ago on the "Binary-Soul Doctrine" touched on this idea. My personal opinion is that Peter Novak, much like the Egyptians had glimpses of the truth, but these were clouded by the "death culture" and "spirituality" of the times, which was/is very much flawed, but sometimes contains gems of truth.  Sadly, Novak also pimps the reincarnation song, which readers of Luminosity know is a modern creation that I consider absolutely flawed and untrue.

Novak believes that upon death the spirit (intellect, logic,etc.) separates from the soul (emotions and personal mind). The duty, according to Novak, was to hold the soul and spirit together beyond death and remain a complete being. The being that couldn't hold them together would enter into a kind of dreamy hell (the unconscious mind without intellect) where they would live a rather miserable or less miserable existence depending on how they lived. The Egyptians had the same notion of separation, but for them wholeness in the post-mortem state (once the Ka and Ba reunited) was reserved only for royalty.

In my own experiences, the post-mortem state is not really one of separation, but of transference. The physical human individual reaches a point where it meets its Seraph. This experience feels as if there are two separate entities within one being. I never had the sense that there was division, only waking up to the reality that my physical identity wasn't the only part of me.  The physical human identity is a kind of disguise, a veil the Seraph uses in order to experience the world as a stranger, that stranger being the physical self cut off from the source of its being. Physical death causes this human veil to fade away and this is truly the death of the physical human individual.  The binary-soul theory in a very limited sense is correct as far as perception of the process goes. Upon dying the individual human mind seems to fade out and the dead very quickly lose interest in this world-especially those on the ascendent path. This is mainly because it is very quickly realized that there is more life "out there" than what exists in the physical domain.

The realization of the bi-unity of human individuality has occurred in my own life on a handful occasions and I never get used to it. The first time it occurred I was drowning in a pool when I was 14. It then happened spontaneously one night when I awoke too quickly from a bad dream. The sensation was literally of two minds occupying my individuality. I was both of them, but the other one was clearly in charge even saying very clearly and audibly, "Go back to sleep now, Daniel". There has been only one other time I was called "Daniel" during an experience, and that was the first dream I ever had of dying and standing beneath a giant throne, which I understood to be the throne of God. I was probably eight years old.

In regard to the humor of the Posthuman beings Curtis K. encounters:

They all thought my manner of death was quite funny, and joked about it to me. Saying I didn’t have to die that way. In such a unpleasant, painful manner. There was more, but I don’t feel comfortable saying much more than this.

I can say this good humor is very true. At one point in a recent experience I was told about my Grandfather who had died on the toilet while doing a #2. One of these "cosmic" entities had clearly found it funny.  When this dialogue about my grandfather was going on, I distinctly felt how and why this particular being felt it was funny. I suspect at least on some level, that the being who was laughing was in fact my Grandfather, but I cannot be sure. It is not that this type of thing (laughing at how someone has died) is mean spirited. I often get the impression that these are very ancient people I am dealing with and some of them tend to view our almost pathological fear of dying as not only ridiculous, but humorous as well. In their understanding of life, death is not an end as much as it is a part of an eternal process. Admittedly, I laugh when my children have strange ideas about life, especially because the things they say and do are so genuine and innocent. That is likely why these entities tend to laugh at our very elementary understanding of things.

Moving on. The part that really got me about Curtis K's NDE is the fact that he is so haunted by it. It has influenced him very negatively as far as life on this side of existence is concerned. Having been exposed to "that" world, he finds himself realizing quite clearly that the physical world is not a thing in itself, but is a very small portion of something much larger than we can presently conceive:

I do not pursue relationships anymore.

I ended the ones I had.

I limit the ones to family members.
I do not leave the house anymore unless I absolutely have too.
I sometimes think to make attempts to reconcile my experience, like now.
I got myself fired from my job.

This is not at all uncommon. Putting these types of experiences into perspective and integrating them often causes all sorts of problems. In my own case, I eventually lost my family and friends. My fiance left me and took our daughter with her. It took me years to smooth things over with my oldest child. I was forced to live on the skids for years and this was no easy thing. I can very much understand PTSD. I don't have it, but I can see how people would suffer from it after leaving the limited existence of physical humanity behind and going through a process of being spread among the stars only to come back again to a world that on closer inspection is actually not entirely real as we understand it.

Re-defining Oneness, The Grieving Process, And Empathy

2012-02-11T16:18:00.000-08:00

I have been a fan of the sociologist Pitirim Sorokin for some time. I was first exposed to his writings in the mid 1990s when I was first beginning to understand the importance of sacrality in contrast to what I would term "synthetic culture", which is a very good definition of the modern world in general. I learned from Sorokin more than anyone the dangers of syncretism and how it leads to one enormous mish-mash of intellectual and spiritual garbage typified today by most spiritual and political "authorities".

I have stated in the past that during the mid to late 1990s I often trafficked with people that made the religious right look like "bottoms" at the Folsom Street Fair. I don't for one second regret any of these associations and consider my time with those people a part of a process of "working things out" within myself.   They were difficult years for certain and even though the world would want me to say that these people were disgusting and evil, I feel no sense of animosity toward them even now. The reality was that I grew up and away from those modes of thinking because they exist as a kind of mental trap fueled either by an unacknowledged intellectual masochism or mental dis-ease. This is true of the left and liberalism as well.

When people attempt to engage me in discussions or arguments about hot-button issues, I will rarely get into it because my approach is purely holistic. I view things as either contributing or taking away from the health of a society. Considering that I view modern cities as "eye sores" and "shitholes" and believe that a good old fashioned fist fight can still settle a score people rarely talk to me about these kinds of things. I recently told someone that I don't vote because there has never been a candidate that I felt was worthwhile. The person that asked me felt that because I am a blond-haired, blue-eyed working class chap that I would be sympathetic to Republicans. I suspect he was caught by surprise when I called Mitt Romney a rat and Ron Paul a globalist. The reality is that I am mostly disassociated from it. I would be much happier to have a King rather than a President or an aristocracy rather than a congress as long as it was just. Admittedly that form of government, made up of spiritually and philosophically matured individuals rather than rich, pot bellied blue hairs is far more appealing to me.

In the overall nature of things all views and opinions are synthetic, especially those that aren't purely holistic.  Even today many of the views I hold can be rightly considered synthetic and based purely upon my being a localized entity in the temporal-spatial domain and living a certain set of experiences that have changed or manipulated my thinking. None of us can escape this and none of us are greater or lesser because of it.

I was privileged or perhaps blessed to have known people that were far more intelligent and mature than I was at a time when I was in desperate need of guidance.  During the years I had known these people, it wasn't uncommon for me to literally watch words and ideas they had created being injected into the world when they contacted their various "outer orders" and offered them new ideas to put forth into books and web pages.   Over time I had seen many of these ideas grow, spread out and develop. To this day I have seen variations on these ideas spread everywhere. They haven't always gained wide acceptance (their creators often didn't even believe in them) and many of them were actually bogus conspiracy theories that I still hear today. The entire purpose of this was to witness these eidolons manipulate thinking. That's exactly what these ideas were, living intellectual entities that thrived in the human mind and could create new processes of thinking. The reason we created these things is somewhat complex. It would likely take a series of posts to even begin to scratch the surface of why this was so important and what we had hoped to accomplish.

It needs to be kept firmly in mind that ideas, opinions, and etc. exist only in the temporal-spatial domain where our individual existence is localized to a particular space, time and circumstances. We tend to pass judgement on history using our modern understanding of the world. I have always viewed this practice as both amateur and arrogant. The physical domain is a cyclical progression of ages without end. Each one of these ages has its own sense of right and wrong, its own heroes and villains. Each age is an age at peace or an age immersed in confusion and chaos. This is based largely on how close a people are to the sacred domain. An age that is depressed, hostile, angry, and confused is an age so far removed from the sacred that it has begun to die.

Generally speaking the ages seem to turn once there is a cataclysmic or shattering event that makes the world feel like a completely different place altogether. To be as blunt as I can be, I get this strange feeling sometimes that we are all living on borrowed time. The world at present has changed monumentally in the last decade or so to the point it no longer resembles what it once did.

As time has gone on I find myself less and less concerned with ideas or memes that emerge in pop-cult spirituality and modern occultism. I find myself tired with new explanations of what life is or who our "hidden friends" may be. I am even more tired with the people that tend to linger in the myth rather than attempting to realize the dynamis behind the myth. It is finding that sacrality, that dynamis behind the story that in the end leads to the fundamental growth of the human being beyond death and into the stars. Ideas and opinions have a very temporary and limited importance. If anything they tend to protect the human container during its sojourn in the physical domain.

In the last year or so I have engaged a presence that is made up of beings that are "cosmic" in nature. This presence is not localized and communicates by revealing itself as present, but not localized to a specific area. It communicates by becoming or entering into the individuality for a time. By "entering" I do not mean that it invades the mind, but rather it reveals itself in a way that cannot be put into words. It is a certainty or perhaps an intuition that something profound is present. There is no loss of individuality on your part, just the certainty that your individuality has become merged with someone much more vast, someone whose being is not localized to a physical body. These presences have nothing to preach, no message for humanity about how things work or what will happen in the future. They will not communicate using sub-par methods that ultimately confuse the message. When such messages do come through and are later translated by people, they are usually highly filtered to the extent that the verbalization and conceptualization that takes place after the encounter renders the translation meaningless. I try to avoid this as much as possible and will only attempt to translate these experiences where I feel it is important.

When a person is exposed to these presences the world no longer fits into any metaphysical schema. It is free, unhindered, and infinitely vast. Maturity is expansion into a non-localized existence that is endlessly engulfing and endlessly becoming All. In essence, the individual becomes more and more holistic, more and more a part of the infinite multiverse and all the beings within it. This expansion is purely individual and even though growth is individual, the reality is that everything partakes in the existence of the Godhead, which is an infinite cosmic organism that is not only endless, but eternally continuous.

There are forms of life out there that view human beings in the physical domain as ants, and if it weren't for the compassion of God that finds its outlet in the diversity of life that exists "out there", we would have ceased to exist long ago. So while I can agree that all life is inter-connected and even the parts of a continuous One, any spirituality that takes individuality and compromises it should be disregarded at once. The modern idea of oneneness and its spiritual and social analoges cause all growth to stagnate. Without individuality and infinite variety all existence would fall into the void of non-being.

The main characteristic of a human being that has endured these exposures to the life "over there" is compassion and the willingness to help others whenever possible. This is a kind of selfless compassion, not philanthropy or charity in the mundane sense of the word. This trait emerges mainly because these exposures lead to an expansion whose overwhelming symptom is empathy.

empathy [ˈɛmpəθɪ]

1. the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person's feelings See also identification [3b]

2. the attribution to an object, such as a work of art, of one's own emotional or intellectual feelings about it

[from Greek empatheia affection, passion, intended as a rendering of German Einfühlung, literally: a feeling in; see en-², -pathy]

These are human beings that have essentially "spread out" and have not only become themselves, but have grown into the infinity of the universe to whatever extent is possible while living. Those that have passed beyond the threshold of death are another story altogether.  They are capable of things like synchronicity, which they use to pull us further into the mystique of being human. Because they are no longer localized (but can appear to us as localized) they have a great deal of control over the physical domain.

I would like to explain this with two anecdotal stories of my mother and how I dealt with her death. The first story happened only several days after she had died. I was changing the oil filter in my car one afternoon. As I laid under my car I found myself very much upset. To make matters worse I was fighting to get the oil filter off as it had seized up. It had come to the point that I had to punch a screwdriver through the filter to get a better grip on it. I was so inwardly saddened by the loss that I began to cry under the car while I struggled to get the filter off. The whole purpose of going out to the garage to work was so I could get away and have some time to myself to think about her passing. The reality is that I had been planning this oil-change for days, not really to just change the oil, but to be alone with my sorrow where I wouldn't be disturbed. I remembered at some point saying something really simple like, "can you please give me a hand here, mom?" No sooner had I finished saying it that the filter loosened its grip. I remember being so struck by this and then getting this feeling that she was standing in the garage near my work bench. The feeling of her presence there was truly overwhelming.

The second story happened about a month ago. I had been driving to work and began to think about her. I remember truly wondering in my mind what she had to endure once she had passed from this world. I wondered if her road was a difficult one and if she left the servitude of this world with the grace in which she lived within it. I turned the radio on only moments before I whispered some goofy statement like, "I wonder where you are Mom?" The song that had begun the moment I turned on the radio was one I hadn't heard in many years. It was a song I remembered from High School called "Say Hello 2 Heaven" by Temple of the Dog. It was a song that was written at a time when the singer of that band was going through the grieving process after the death of a friend. Once again that same feeling of presence was there and it was unmistakable.

After talking to several members of my family as well as other friends that were helping me through, they were very keen on sharing similar stories upon dealing with losses of their loved ones. My Dad who is one of the biggest skeptics I know had several stories that were so startlingly strange and powerful that I was left in awe.  For several days he had been getting full on visitations in the middle of the night. My Mom would say things to him like, "I love you, but you do know you are sleeping?" She said this because he was under the impression that she was still alive and that what had occurred over the last several months had been a bad dream. There was little doubt that there was a presence that remained, and with time it slowly began to withdraw, which I also found very sad.

Maturity for me has always been about coming to terms with life and death, not about formulated ideas and synthetic motivations. When I experienced a full blown spontaneous NDE at 23 one of the things that caught me off guard was what I termed in my previous post as "the starry void". In that experience I was slowly becoming everything. I still retained my individuality, but I was slowly expanding. It reached a point where I distinctly remembered saying to myself, "I've become everything!" This was not a form of oneness, but an experience of death and initiation.   Why it happened spontaneously and at such a young age, I cannot be certain. As time goes on and I learn more and more and these earlier experiences begin to make much more sense. The main problem I have had was putting away all the fakeness and all the contrived ideas about occultism, magic, and spirituality. It sometimes feels as if the only way to avoid the confusion is to reach a condition where you must admit that you know nothing. From there a person must push on in their own way and without the pre-conceived ideas that drive other people to a state of confusion.

The Sirian, The Starry Void, And Montauk Tower

2012-02-07T22:12:00.000-08:00

I think it would be fair to say that Luminosity is a personal, real time journal of the communication that takes place between myself and what I have termed elsewhere on this blog as my "Seraph", which is really a very broad thing. It would also be fair to say that my existence almost from the time I can remember has been an overly inquisitive one. I have not been content with the answers that others are sometimes willing to settle for. I have always felt an urging to go deeper into the mystique and what it means. In that urging and movement forward I find that my joy grows.

I could easily say that the months of June/July 2011 were likely some of the best days of my life. During that time I was exposed to things that were so unbelievably pleasant and divine that I learned to go far beyond the dark territories that were often part of my personal landscape. In May I began to experience major breakthroughs by using the encounter experience as a vehicle to plunge deeper into the phenomenon, far beyond its mythological surface. At one point in May I awoke during the night to find myself laying outside in the grass with the feeling that I was physically dying. I remember lying down and just sobbing beneath that willow tree. After hearing this roaring laughter coming from all around me (my demons perhaps) a man came out of nowhere, bent down beside me and said, "You must get up young man." I remember looking and pleading with him that there was nothing I could do, that I was in too much pain to stand up. He then said something very simple to me like, "Are you really in that much pain?" The implication was that I had convinced myself I was dying but it wasn't true.

During that time, I had been lingering in the many irrational fears I had been suffering. Later on it became clear to me that this man that came out of the woods, who appeared younger than me yet referred to me as "young man" was a very young looking Henry Corbin. This was before I had even been introduced to his writing. This could clearly be a case where I am simply putting a face to a fond memory after the fact, or it could be something much more than that. I cannot stress enough how important the books of Henry Corbin have been to me. I give these books the highest recommendation and the caveat to take your time with them because they are certainly not easy reads. I have read one of them several times and continue to learn from it.

Henry Corbin
All of this has essentially led to a kind of transcendence over the darker aspects of the phenomenon and a very profound experience of a much broader existence that I didn't entirely understand earlier on. With time and effort, I have been making a lot of progress, but keeping this blog updated with everything that has happened is just not possible. In fact, I'm finding it harder and harder to write and keep up with the emails I do get and the experiences that have been occurring. There is simply too much at work here and a lot of it is just too personal to put into the public forum.

What I will discuss in this post is a very interesting Podcast I listened to over at Skeptico. I highly recommend listening to this interview between Alex Tsakiris and Dr. Eben Alexander because it touches on a lot of what I write about here on Luminosity. In this interview Dr. Alexander discusses his near death experience, which is likely one of the most profound ones I have ever heard of for several reasons. He gets into his experience with what he refers to as his "Guardian Angel" as well as a direct experience of a world that he describes as "Hyper-Real", which is exactly what the Celestial Earth is and many up close UFO sightings tend to be. But more importantly he discusses how his experience began with seeing a very dark and simple world, with dark roots, howling, faces and shapes that emerged and sank back into darkness. His only way out of that world was remembering certain melodies that caused him to emerge into the Celestial Earth.

Over the years I have noticed how certain melodies embedded in songs have left me with that nostalgic-mystique that I wrote about in previous posts. A nostalgic-mystique that has literally placed me for brief moments into an entirely different place. From what I understand these melodies allow one to phase in and out of the many universes of the Celestial Earth. I strongly suspect that life in the Imaginal domain is able to manifest here in the physical domain because the people are able to do just this, adapt their mind my using internal melodies that evoke a specific state that resonates with wherever they wish to go. Exactly how this works, I am not certain. What I do know, however, is that the dark territories Dr. Eben Alexander describes as foreboding is the chasm that essentially separates us from the Celestial Earth. This chasm exists in all of us, in the baggage that we carry and in the fears we harbor. Getting beyond that dark territory of the stragglers is likely what our purpose on earth is all about. We must attempt grow and mature beyond the materialistic and hedonistic ethos that is now the order of the day.

Another important aspect of this interview as well as the video is his description of floating in space. When I was 23 I had a very similar experience of floating in a void with stars in it. I remember feeling that this void was actually my body and that I could move at will across vast spaces because these stars essentially made up my "cosmic body". I remember writing to my mentor of this experience: "if I moved my toe or my hand I was spreading myself across the galaxy." The sense of warmth, as Dr. Alexander also describes, was something that was also present. At some point I reached a limit and to go any further meant I had to give up my physical body forever. I was actually very frightened by the experience and gradually came out of it suffering a horrible four-year bout of depression afterwards. These types of experiences are very much out of the ordinary. We fail to realize how vast and likely unlimited the mind/identity truly is.

I am mentioning all of this for one reason in particular. Very recently I found myself once again straddling some middle ground in the dead of night. For six nights I found myself in the presence of a being I can only say is beyond my knowing and beyond a rational explanation. Whether this was again my "posthuman self", Seraph or some independent intelligence I cannot pretend to know. These communications were taking place through the flickering of a star I was watching out of my bedroom window. While this began slowly and innocently with seeing the twinkling of a star, it eventually felt as if bright lights were beaming in my face as the night went on. Several times my wife awoke to what she thought was a conversation between my son and I. She said it sounded like me talking in a normal tone, but my son whispering or humming. She never turned over to look to see what was happening and said nothing more of it.

At this point it is important to explain that the star this flashing was coming from was Sirius. However, I don't think it matters because this intelligence never made any direct statement as to who or what it was even when I asked. It was simply the only visible star in the sky at that moment. It easily could have been any star near Orion that was visible. So I need to make sure that is understood. The communication was about many things, but mostly me asking questions about matters somewhat unrelated to this blog. I have filled a composition notebook with notes and excerpts of this exchange. I didn't write anything as it was happening because throughout the experience I had no awareness of my physical body. So certainly there is a degree of error to what I have written. The deeper these communications went, the further gone I was from the physical domain.

It is important now to explain that one of the questions that came up was about my Mom, who I have been missing quite a bit lately. I simply asked where she was. This has been something I have been thinking about for months now. The response, which is very meaningful was, "she is spread among the stars." Taking this statement in concert with my experience at 23 and the experience of Dr. Alexander, this begins to make much more sense. The implication is that once the physical body has died, the mind enters into a free-state where it essentially "spreads out" and personal existence becomes more of a "cosmic" existence. The other phrase I distinctly remember was, "The Mind is outer space." I have tried to really think about that statement and admittedly it is an interesting thought once considered.

Words do the starry void experience such little justice. It was so profound that coming back to normality hurled me into some of the darkest years of my life. Even today I have only very scattered memories of its entirety. It is like retaining your identity, but also "swimming in the mind of God by becoming the All." Again, no words do this experience much justice. In fact, language eventually breaks down in its presence. I find that thinking back to this causes me to laugh when all the oneness and enlightenment people discuss how the post-mortem state of moksha is a nothingness or pure oblivion. Little do they know. I think that idea is just another way to safeguard the human individuality from the great terror that comes when one is exposed to such enormous vastness and divinity. Once that terror has ended, the true beauty of the experience ultimately emerges.

The communication then turned to Montauk tower, which has become a strange beacon to me.

"What is it about that building and that area that calls to me? What purpose does it serve? " The response was that Montauk is special because it is a tool my mind uses "to call me home". My individuality has some kind of strange resonance with it. I have been dreaming about it since before I even knew of its existence. Furthermore the veil is very thin in Montauk, even to the point (according to this communication) that it *could* be related to the unnamed event that all of us are waiting for but nobody knows exactly what it will be. There was much more about "The Tower" but for now I will have to leave it at that.

http://www.27east.com/news/article.cfm/Montauk/397072/Smoke-Empties-Montauk-Tower-On-Thursday

Trauma As The Impetus Of Contact

2012-02-02T19:40:00.000-08:00

I have made several attempts to write this post, but found myself suffering from writer's block. The problem is detailing how "trauma" can be a positive thing. To ponder such an idea is not an easy thing because it tends to sound crazy on many levels. Furthermore, it is not something that will find a whole lot of acceptance. I need to use this post to illustrate this idea further.

Between 2000 and 2006 I was initiated into a "society" that claimed to possess the last valid initiatory current or the last direct lineage to a tradition going back a very long time. During those years I was introduced (or inducted) into a mythology whose entire purpose was to expose my inward nature to massive trauma. To be clear, this was not a group of people that had political power or money. It was not freemasonry or the illuminati or any other dreamed up secret society people are fond of writing about today. It was, however, a group of people that revealed to me early on that they knew things that I wanted to know and were capable of things I once thought were impossible.  For six years I had become the "chela" of a very ruthless individual, my mentor whom I have called in earlier posts "JK".

The trauma that I had endured during those years came in many forms. I lived in a state of almost constant upset wondering who was going to knock on my door in the middle of the night or what would come my way in the subtle domain. My grade in those days was "Rex Nemorensis" and the virtue of that grade was fear. The teacher-student relationship was not traditional in any sense as we understand it today. I wasn't sitting at the feet of a master or being told to read this book or write out a ritual. I was looking over my shoulder every time I left my house. The initial traumas I suffered opened up doorways to things that most people don't have a lot of exposure to.  Around August 2010 I began to write on some of these experiences I had dealt with when I was in my mid-twenties. For whatever reason my blog kept deleting posts on its own without my help.  I am not certain why, it could be innocent, but I suspect there is more to it. In those posts I attempted to lead into the mythology related to this group and how it was presented to me, but later on decided against it with a very subtle note on my profile:

I present this blog as a work of fiction, but I have a penchant for sarcasm. I present myself as an intellectual function and nothing more.

After leaving that caveat in my profile, I never had another issue with blogger deleting my posts. From then on I simply began to present this blog as an ongoing journal of the experiences I had been dealing with in the present tense.

People may read this whole teacher-student relationship and be extremely put off by it because it comes off as being somewhat violent. They may ask, "what is the need to endure violent trauma of this kind?"  That is really easy to say when a person doesn't understand the nature of initiatory work and more particularly the nature of being human today, and by "being human" I mean being an "incomplete human."   Throughout the ages this type of ordeal was the norm when it came to penetrating into the mystique of existence. Even in the ancient world man had sheathed himself with illusions and delusions of what life was. In order to get beyond the ordinary life, traumatic events became necessary. It was essentially the doorway in. A kind of inward breakdown was necessary in order for a person to become exposed to what lies beyond. Having grown as sophisticated and civilized as we have over the last several generations, and being able to kill millions of people with the push of a button, we have essentially been cut off from entire worlds that exist beyond our senses.   We are stuck in a delusion called "ordinary life" and its victims are legion.

When I hear the various new age personalities discussing how the changes that are occurring in our times is a type of spiritual evolution taking place I tend to scoff. I recently heard William Henry discuss so matter-of-factly that individual human beings have been incarnated and re-incarnated many times. I remember saying out loud to my wife, "I guess if you hear a lie enough times it becomes the truth for some people." That is the reality of this world. We are living in a delusion where even our spiritual systems are deceptions. It's one big clap trap. All you have to do to fall victim is fawn over some figure or the system they espouse. In the end it is all about control and how many robots the cult leaders can create in their own image, or at least how many robots they can get to worship them and pay the monthly fee.

My wife didn't meet my parents until two months before we got married even though we had dated for two years. I told her that I was raised in a lions den where a culture of fear and intimidation was always present. At the time I got married, I still had a lot of hostility toward my father who essentially created a very rough environment for me as a child. The truth was that I wanted him nowhere near my new wife or my family. Whatever light I found as a child was effectively extinguished in his presence. It was not uncommon for me to get beatings as a kid. In third grade I was beaten and my face bloodied when I ignored a question my Dad had asked me. I went to school the next morning with a fat lip and a cut under my eye. This intimidation caused a kind of retreat to take place. Once my Dad came home from work I generally went to my room and got lost in myself in the form of communication with what I can only call an imaginary friend that lived in the space of my mind and ministered to me about things that I would call "magical" or even "mystical" in their implication. I have learned all these years later, that it was far less "imaginary" than I had previously thought.  This inward retreat was in fact a beacon to "them." A mind was being forged that could on some level communicate outside the normal spectrum. I think most children are capable of this, but most of them forget as they get older. In a sense, initiatory work uses trauma to destroy all of these false and contrived layers of our individuality that hide the true nature or fullness of our humanity.

Aside from the traumas I endured as a child in the home, I have memories of other traumas I had endured during childhood, but mostly in flashes. Whether or not these are real I cannot be certain. There was never any type of sexual abuse in any of these experiences and in several cases, several friends I had grown up with had also been exposed to some of the same characters and the stories are all very strange and similar.

I have very little respect or admiration for modern spiritual forms because they are not challenging enough. They aren't extreme enough. In order to truly get beyond these faulty layers of our existence, this idea of reading some books or "studying at the master's feet" is utterly ridiculous. During WWII Julius Evola, whose spirituality was very aristocratic in nature had taken to walking the streets at night during bombing raids in Germany. His purpose for doing this was to "test his karma"  by exposing himself to danger. As his fate would have it, this caused him to be paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of his life. During that time he wrote some of the most important books about spiritual matters ever written. I'm not saying that trauma is a good thing. It isn't. But someone figured out long ago that the only way to return home was to take heaven by force. The modern world is synthetic and those that love it and thrive within it are often very synthetic as well. What you see before you is NOT all there is to see. We live in a very isolated place where we have largely forgotten to see what has been around the entire time. It is not that we are evolving in a linear fashion. Everything that is making its presence known has always been there, the problem has been our inability to understand ourselves and what we are exactly.

Long time readers of this blog will clearly remember the dark times this blog has seen. They would remember the fear that I was experiencing that I had communicated during posts when I admitted to sleeping next to my shotgun at night. They will remember the fear I had for my children and frankly for my own soul. What I did not see coming, however were the breakthroughs into a domain of pure light which changed me entirely. It was in this domain that I encountered luminous beings that defied my imagination entirely. Beings that made no claims, but by their presence alone were able to communicate the reality that they were the "Seraphs" or "Shepherds" behind the appearance of the visible/physical domain.

I cannot deny the reality that at times I find myself dealing with a dark undercurrent. This usually occurs when my mind focuses in on the things that challenge me such as a physical ailment or the obsessive thoughts I sometimes have about staying alive long enough to see my children reach adulthood. As a husband and father of four children how can I not think about such things? Generally speaking I find it very important to not linger in that darkness, but to move out of it as quickly as possible.

Life in this world and the worlds outside of this one interest me profoundly. They always have. There is no solid answer on what is happening in this world with the various presences that are here. The truth at the summit of our existence is an infinite one. And being infinite it is an open-ended question where no answer can ever reach.  The nature of things allows for growth, but only so much growth can take place in the physical domain and via the human intellect. There comes a point when even logic reaches its zenith and literally crumbles before us in contradiction. In order to traverse the logical paradoxes that lock this world into a closed system, a new organ of thinking must be developed. The experience over long periods of time tends to do just that, but in order to access that new organ of thinking the sheaths of our self, our myriads of contrivances must be fully dealt with or else we can only translate the baser aspects of the experience.

Trauma in many cases causes human awareness to travel inward. Most people that endure the contact/abduction phenomenon tend to have a very creative personalities. I think that in many cases the signals tend to get confused leading to various mythologies and schools of thought that in the end limit the experience and cause all of these various contentions to arise. These eventually de-volve into various fundamentalisms in the same way that many scienes and religions have de-volved over time. This degenerative process will always sap the mystique out of a thing.

On Familial Demons

2012-01-28T14:12:00.000-08:00

Before I begin my next series of posts, I need to use this one as a kind of intermission between the demons of the past and the open-ended question that is represented by another "presence" entirely. A presence I have been interacting with my entire life. I am not attempting to detail past events as much as I am attempting to explain the loosening of a devils grip so to speak and a journey forward.

My brother and I share a very terrifying memory that we haven't discussed in nearly three years when I really began to investigate many of my odd memories. The memory took place during the height of my Harlequin encounters in the early 1980s. It occurred while my parents were out and we were home with the babysitter. My oldest brother was at summer camp when this event happened and had he been there, we wouldn't have had need of a babysitter. In the house I spent my first through sixth year, there was a large picture window that overlooked a field across the street from our house. That little field is full of very interesting childhood memories. I was at home there and would often fall asleep in the grass as easy as I would in my bed. Needless to say, I was something of a strange kid. A few yards into the field were railroad tracks.  One of my first childhood memories as negative as it sounds was seeing a man try to kill himself on those tracks. Growing up in that neighborhood you quickly became accustomed to industrial sounds as well as the sounds of trains coming through late into the night.

I was probably 4 or 5 at the time of this event, which would have made my brother 8 or 9. The babysitter, a teenage girl that lived a few doors down from us was pretty much oblivious to everything that took place that night. Well, "oblivious" isn't exactly accurate. There was a denial on her part and certainly I couldn't blame her. There are times when, sadly, children simply aren't believed when they should be believed. Generally speaking, if my children tell me something that sounds outrageous I never tell them, "it's just your imagination". I make every attempt to help them think it through on their own or to at least admit that they were playing a trick or just fibbing me. Needless to say my children have been witness to many strange things, particularly my oldest daughter so it isn't difficult to believe the things they tell me.

The memory is fairly straightforward. My brother and I were hanging over the back of the couch looking out the large picture window and noticed something scurrying in the field across the street. The more we looked at it, the more it began to take shape.  We were watching a very tall man that looked like a thin version of "Cousin It." Instead of having long hair it seemed to have very short hair upon a body that was simply oblong. The odd part is that this thing had very short legs that moved very quickly, kind of like a centipede, but very cartoonish. We were horrified and almost inconsolable. To illustrate this better, this thing looked like a large, hairy capsule with short legs and no arms.  It appeared to be running aimlessly in circles and crooked lines, no rhyme or reason to it. Because we were making so much noise in the window, and my brother began crying, the babysitter closed the curtains and made us go up to bed. Even today I remember that instead of looking out into the field, she had turned her head away when she closed the curtains so as not to see what I suspect she knew was there but couldn't accept.  During this entire event there was a whirring sound in the house, a sound that has been very much consistent in many of my experiences. I distinctly remember my brother pleading with her that we couldn't go to bed, but grudgingly going upstairs anyway. The fear was that we didn't want this thing, whatever it was coming into the house.

Fast forward to the late 1980s. My Grandfather has us watch a movie with him called "Prince of Darkness". He was a horror movie buff and every time we visited him for the weekend, he'd pull out these movies and we'd stay up late watching them. I grew to love these movies and some of them truly had a "freaky factor" that I thoroughly enjoyed.  During the last scene of "Prince of Darkness", the devil himself makes a brief appearance.

When my brother and I saw this part of the movie where Satan emerges from the doorway of a Church shortly before the "end of the world" event, we both felt unusually terrified. It wasn't so much the movie, but the shape this being took shortly before extending his arms. It was eerily reminiscent of something that was much more real to us. The odd part about this scene is that it is a dream sequence. The audio in the background says something like, "this is not a dream, we are transmitting from the year 1 9 9 9." The issue here is that humans from the future were communicating to people in the past through their dreams because they didn't have the technology to transmit to the waking mind. This idea has emerged in various places on this blog since March 2011.

Growing up my brother and I shared a room. There were times when he would wake up in the middle of the night letting out these horrible, blood-curdling screams. Then he would stand up and start running around in our bedroom in an attempt to get away from whatever was plaguing him. This terrified me like no other. I would cover myself with my blankets and curl into a ball. As he ran around the room he would knock into my bed letting out these guttural screams. I remember being on the brink of a panic and only moments away from screaming myself. These episodes seemed to happen more during the winter months, but generally speaking, they happened fairly often.

As I have gotten older, and my memory returns to these night terrors, two very haunting things occur to me. The first was that these night terrors had never brought my parents running to his aid. It was almost like he was absolutely alone, a child entering into a level of fear that not even adults may experience. My parents clearly remembered these night terrors because they were fairly common. I once asked them why they never came into the room to calm him down or check on him once the terror had ended. It was as if they were both very confused when attempting to answer the question. They couldn't tell me why they never came in, and I suspect they honestly didn't know. Toward the end of my mother's life, she made several statements to me that were very apologetic in nature. I strongly suspect these apologies had a lot to do with what my mom felt was neglect when it came to events of this nature that were taking place and her belief that she hadn't done the right thing.

The second thing that sticks out to me is what brought on these night terrors. Thinking back now as an adult, there was a definite presence with us those nights. A very menacing presence that even today brings me a great deal of disturbance. It wasn't so much that my brother's screaming was a a thing in itself, but rather the presence that was with us during the night causing them. That presence, which comes to me only in flashes now, was of seeing that same tall hairy bi-ped in the corner of our room, the same one we saw in the field the first time circa 1982 which caused our childhood fear to reach a plateau. When thinking back to those events, and having a much more solid understanding of "that other world", it becomes immediately clear to me that this being was an embodied representation of our fears, an archetypal form of them that was very much real and alive. It was potentially once human for all I know, but decayed so ruthlessly that it came to haunt little children in the night. It was essentially a family demon for lack of better terms that thrived for many years and has continued to inflict very serious damage. While I do not entertain such things in my own house, I know for certain that my brother has been nearly consumed by whatever this thing is even to this day. Sadly he remains only a shell of what he once was. This is one of the saddest realities that I deal with.

Everything in the physical domain and everything that penetrates into the physical domain (from time to time) has an archetypal form including the dark and frightening things that have the capacity to destroy us. In other words, everything we experience in this world is some type of representation of something that is much more subtle. I think one of the biggest mistakes people make is believing that everything that exists "over there" and comes to us through supernatural means must be good or benevolent because it is of a more subtle nature than the human being. That is not the case. Dangers abound everywhere and I have absolutely denied the validity of any teaching that claims to come from a "disembodied" source or communicated from a "higher dimension" to a lower dimension/earth. These types of texts and channelings may have some metaphysical gems, but they are so interlaced with subterfuge that any positivity they may have is counteracted by the damage they eventually inflict upon the human psyche. That is opinion of course, but it is an opinion based upon over 100 years of failed prophecy and so-called "esoteric philosophy" and "blavatskian theosophy".

The Secret Mandala

2012-01-26T22:30:00.000-08:00

Strange times abound.

It would be very easy for me to tell everyone that there is some mysterious reason why this blog disappears or why I go through periods of silence from time to time. The reality, however, is that there have been many times when having this blog and dealing with the phenomenon and the inner and outer changes it causes simply becomes too much to deal with all at once. While I have become very much hardened to some things, there are times when I am simply knocked down hard by events that are very much out of my control. So while I can be somewhat partitioned, there are times when bleed-overs do occur and I am put in a very difficult position.

Now let me address the pissed off people that wrote to me after I shut down accusing me of getting a sick thrill from writing and then shutting down. These individuals used language like "you abandoned your readers" or "people are kind enough to keep coming back and supporting you." First of all the phrase "you abandoned me" is a bit harsh. I have sat beside people I have loathed exceedingly when they have been alone, in need, and in serious trouble. I have never abandoned anyone in my life including my enemies. Secondly, I very much appreciate every reader I have and their loyalty to this blog. I strongly suspect that some of my most loyal readers are people that have never written to me, but have continued to come and see me for nearly two years now. These folks have been here long enough to know that this blog tends to disappear from time to time for rather short periods of time while I sort things out.

The question now is "why?" Why close down the blog and temporarily shut down my email? That's a bit trickier. When I am exposed to something that I can only call "ineffable" whether in the context of beauty or terror I find the almost compulsive need to correct myself from previously held ideas. There is an urge to keep going, to meet the phenomenon further and further unto greater vistas. This is why my old posts have disappeared. I'm not interested in showing a timeline of how I got to this point through a series of linear developments or revelations. That is not the point of this blog and frankly everyone's experiences are different. I am dealing with something that is strange, ghastly, beautiful, and sometimes ambiguous. I am not dealing with something that even has the word "linear" as a part of its vocabulary. All of it from time to time becomes contradictory because it seems to emanate from a level so far above our intellectual ability that in order to even begin to understand it you must absolutely develop a new way of thinking.

With that being said, I am about to venture into very odd areas that I have not previously covered. The real problem here is that this phenomenon uses human structures to communicate itself in diverse ways. If I were to say that a star in the night sky was broadcasting messages to me for six consecutive nights people would view that as either fantasy, science fiction, or worse. The real problem is that our existence on earth is so oddly layered. Some people will only scratch the surface and become politicans or the like. Some people will go just a bit deeper and become philosophers. Others will go even further, into the layers of the foundation itself, and find the lotus or the secret mandala, and no matter how much his or her command of language may be, nothing can express what is found there and what the panoramic view actually is to the mind that remains in the mud as it were. One is therefore left using the absurd to describe the absurd to make the best of a complex situation.

I can only say that I am a firm believer that humanity is travelling two very divergent paths. One that is the same old hat, and the other so out of the ordinary that human language is essentially bound at the brink of something monumental. With that being said, I will likely pick up and begin shortly with a series of posts detailing the last two weeks and from there building upon mundus imaginalis, its inhabitants, the Seraph, and the strangeness that is now clearly taking place everywhere.

Communication, Self Cultivation, And "The Coming Event"

2012-01-14T16:07:00.000-08:00

The wealth of the soul exists in images. I speak in images. With nothing else can I express the words from the depths. - Carl Jung

I have received several comments from people leaving me their email addresses and telling me about recent experiences they've had dealing with brief but intense encounters with another world they cannot quite understand. When I use words like nostalgia, mystique, and wonder to describe the emotional state that precedes or comes shortly after these experiences, people seem to clearly understand what I mean even though they are aware that these words are really arbitrary and don't fully explain that state.

In some ways I am growing concerned. Not because there is a small consensus in regard to Celestial Earth or Mundus Imaginalis, but because this consensus may be a symptom of something we don't entirely understand. I think that to some extent, at least in our times, this idea of seeing beyond this world and clean into the other even for brief moments is increasing. I find it incredibly likely that structures of the physical domain are beginning to break down. It may be that things are unstable (mentally as well as in the physical environment) because the imaginal domain may be drawing near to the physical or the physical may actually be dissolving or reverting into the imaginal. I can say with the utmost certainty that I have never had such sustained experiences like the ones I have had in the last two years.

The majority of people that have had to endure the encounter phenomenon are not only the artistic or creative types, but those that have had a lifetime of strange inward experiences and emotional sensations that they don't entirely understand. These types of things defy verbal or written explanation.  I believe that these odd mental states are drawing in the experiences and the presences behind them. I am not reducing the encounter phenomenon to a mere psychological model, the encounter phenomenon is physical, mental, and imaginal. There is no good way to logically define it and no metaphysical model to describe the totality of what goes on in this world and beyond.

Language and convention serve as major hurdles in all of this because the word "imagination" in modern times has become synonymous with "unreal" and "fantasy". The movement of time that caused this misunderstanding has been the movement from the sacred to the secular.  At present the physical world has reached a point of almost pure secularity. Even religions today are secular because they have essentially rid themselves of the sacred dimension and focus solely upon laws and commandments of being a "good person". Fundamentalism of any stripe is secular including religious and scientific fundamentalism. To illustrate the absurdity of our times we find the agnostic/atheist seculars are battling with the religious seculars. Unbeknown to all these fools, they are ultimately representing the exact same currents that destroy or veil the divine. Many of my naysayers attack me from time to time as being fundamentalist or a part of the right. I have had just as many Catholics come here attacking me as being in league with satan. I despise liberalism, conservatism, republicans and democrats equally. All of these parties to me are a part of an enormous octopus, a single entity that has many tentacles and represents the same loss of divinity and inwardness in humanity.

I think it is highly likely that long ago there was a time when the mind-body duality did not exist. A time when there was no separation between reality and imagination, between inward and outward. At that time, many forms of life likely existed in the space of this world--some so strange that it would likely defy expression. The further secularized we became, the more the need for religions and mythologies emerged. This need to create models continues today among the quantum mystics that attempt to use science to create new metaphysical representations and mythologies. What this actually reveals is the absence of our counterpart, our divine "inward man". The same ontological questions emerge and so do many new ones tipping us off to the fact that more and more of our humanity has gone missing, mainly the parts that once offered us solid answers at a time when there weren't any questions.

We had already fallen away from the fullness of the human condition long before recorded history began. One thing is certain, the full story (of history) is likely stranger than anything we could presently imagine.  Reality and imagination were likely one seamless whole until a separation took place causing the physical domain to precipitate out into a linear and divergent timeline.  The physical domain never fully lost the connection with the imaginal and if it had, humanity would be purely robotic if it could exist at all. This roboticism and uniformity present in our modern world is a sign of just how far removed we are from the mundus imaginalis and more particularly from the face of God within us, the Seraph. This precipitation out of the imaginal was not by any accident, but rather a natural procession. All of this is appearance, of course. We are already encapsulated by a much larger world that escapes our notice everyday.

In the last few years I have gained some insights into the encounter phenomenon. None of these insights really helped to give me a fuller definition of things until I uncovered the actual function of the human imagination. We seem to think that the imagination is something we have control over, something that is merely a function of the human brain. The reality is that the imagination is a literal world that exists within us. A world that is populated by human dead and other forms of life that appear absolutely alien to us. Dying is not the soul exiting the body, it is the individual awareness entering into the mind and into the imagination where all the archetypes of the physical world exist in pristine form. This answer is not acceptable to a lot of people because they have grown so conditioned to view the imagination as a mental faculty when it is so much more than that.

There are times when these forms of imaginal life have the ability to emerge into the physical domain creating pure strangeness wherever they go. I suspect just as some humans can change their mental state to enter into the Celestial Earth, these beings are able to enter our world by changing their own mental state. There is no doubt in my mind that at times we are dealing with a physical and literal presence that is able to establish itself in the physical domain if certain conditions are met. I want to be very clear about that. I have never been one to reduce the phenomenon to being a mere psychological matter. It is infinitely complex.

Several years ago I was told that "some doors only open from the inside." The implication was that the beings I was in communication with at the time had to be invited in so that they could become more real. This troubled me because I am all too aware that there are very negative entities and currents that enter into this world via invitation. All of them come from the mundus imaginalis which is so layered that beings that claim it as their home can literally be worlds apart. The same goes for the physical domain, we have saints and we have serial killers. I suspect that at the time I was dealing with a lower strata of intelligences, something that needed us to help them emerge here. It is smart to not trust every intelligence that comes from "other worlds" because many of them have the tendency to become highly parasitic.

In my encounters with beings I would call other-worldly one thing that I noticed is that any attempt they have made to use human language is very difficult. In other words, it feels as though they once knew how to use language, but not having physical bodies for extended periods of time caused them to misunderstand how language is used. I used to refer to the way they talked as "dream talk" because it was spoken in sometimes nonsensical statements that just kind of streamed random words and over-emphasized syllables. Underneath these sentences, however, there was meaning that communicated itself in a very intuitive way. Interpreting this has been almost second nature from my early encounters with the Harlequin as a boy. It was easy for me to say, "I just know" what they are saying while being unable to really explain exactly how I knew.

It dawned on me later that the reason I knew is because our communication was intuition, which is the language or mode of communication of the imagination and the beings that inhabit it. It didn't matter what the words actually were, I could translate the heart or meaning of it very easily. Last year I received an email from a reader of this blog that I am no longer in communication with. She also understood how this worked. She once wrote a sentence using these non-sensical statements and I was easily able to understand the meaning behind it which agreed with hers. There is little doubt in my mind that there are more people out there that have also developed this ability.

I believe that contact with the beings of the Mundus Imaginalis or Celestial Earth is possible, but not without the adept use of the imagination. Without it, the best a person will be able to accomplish is communication with beings I believe are very dangerous, human beings that are decaying to the point that their outward form is ghastly and deformed, the worst of them literally decayed into the form of large parasites that look like spiders, jellyfish or various insects.  Highly parasitic and libel to eventually make people physically sick-sometimes terminally. A world that is not accustomed to dealing with the world within, especially the dark grayworlds of nightmares that are always in direct contact with the physical, will not be able to handle this type of communication.

I really don't believe in the new age practice of the laws of attraction, but there is a harsh reality to all of this. The emotional layers or sheathes we put on during these times puts us in a very difficult predicament. Modern humanity is under a very heavy weight. Never before have so many people suffered from mental problems or fallen victim to their various destructive passions as they have today. All of these things have their archetypal form in the imaginal. If a person is bogged down, confused, and majorly fucked up, it is because they have remained in the presence of the images of death and decay. Anger, wrath, and hostility reveal all too well just how deep in the darkness people are. Death doesn't free people from their mind or from the images and ideas they have accepted. This is why a personal confrontation with the dark is always recommended while a person is still alive. Failure to confront the shadow always means the confrontation will occur post-mortem. For me, the idea of mass communication with aliens being carried out with people that are not prepared or initiated is mind-bogglingly dangerous. In my mid-twenties, I had personally witnessed a small scale "evocation" take place that seriously damaged a few people for a long time. So it is best to not take such matters lightly. The people that often times think they have their affairs in order tend to be the ones that are the most screwed up. The journey of a human life is about brutal self-analysis and self-cultivation, not self-acceptance particularly when what is contained within that self leaves much to be desired.

Keys To The Mundus Imaginalis

2012-01-10T19:49:00.000-08:00

I have begun to experiment with what I have termed "Celestial Earth" or Mundus Imaginalis. Without hesitation I can say that a gaping hole now exists between that domain and the physical. From a fuller perspective, however, they were never actually divided except in appearance. I am not sure whether this gaping hole where a veil once stood is a universal occurrence or one that has merely taken place within me after many years of active pursuit.

There is no doubt in my mind that all unexplained entities that intersect with the physical domain come from various "sections" of Celestial Earth, some sections existing as it were in the dark, and others in light. Over the last several weeks, I have been reading accounts of other people that also seem to be catching a glimpse of this "other world" as well. Each account seems to communicate its haunting beauty and strangeness. Some commentors here on Luminosity have also weighed in. Whether we are speaking about the same thing or not, I cannot be certain. What I do know is that since March 2011, as I suspected, things have greatly changed, but likely in a way that is not obvious to all people. For the record, I do not believe that this has anything to do with "energies" or any other new age hokum that seems to be making the rounds these days.

When I was very young I used to get this inward feeling that was a kind of precursor to the whole nostalgia/mystique feeling that I experienced as I got older. I strongly connect these feelings to my direct experiences of the Celstial Earth and its very diverse inhabitants, which seem to make appearances in the physical domain from time to time. This inward feeling, not really an emotion, but more like an alteration of perception, was something I could feel very powerfully and in some cases bring back by recall. When I began to delve deeply into ritual magic and other practices, it seemed that I could partially induce this feeling causing all sorts of odd events and manifestations to take place. This has only increased as I have gotten older though I no longer toy with ritual magic. I learned early on that it was not always easy to evoke this feeling. It would often come on suddenly and be completely outside of my control. When it came I would always feel rushed toward some particular end either creatively or "magically".

Since March 2011 and more particularly since my trip to Montauk, this feeling has gotten easier to induce, recall and hold. The people I encountered in Montauk, if I can call them that, gave me something very important. At this point in time, I am able to induce it at will, which has caused all sorts of strange events to occur leading me to understand that this feeling of nostalgia-mystique is a key I have been internally synthesizing for many years. It peaks amazingly at the time of the full moon leading me to believe that during those days of the month it functions as a kind of doorway to the Celestial Earth for some people, perhaps not for all.

Metaphysics needs to be reformulated. There is no question. Not even the quantum mystics can express the things I have seen by using waves, particles, and observers. Ultimately this defies all explanation because we are talking about things that clearly exist and have form, but are not measurable. There is a certain point in that world where cause and effect begin to blur into meaninglessness. The rules of operation are far different there, and so are the people. So in this post I am forced to explain what I am going through in terms of inner states.

As a young boy I would put on my old cassette Walkman (circa 1984-1987) and go riding my bicycle very early in the morning near sun-up. There was something about the golden rays of the sun that was very thrilling to me at that age. The sun was very new to me at that age and still retained its divinity and mystique--it still does to an extent. Growing up in Milwaukee the smell of beer is everywhere, especially on windy days. It is something I have gotten used to. If you have seen the Old Milwaukee commercials with Will Ferrell riding his bicycle it is a pretty good representation of the scenery of that fine city. There are two spots in that commercial that I remember riding on myself. Here is a poor quality excerpt of my new favorite commercial:

Now even watching this video brought about that nostalgic feeling.

nos·tal·gi·a (n-stlj, n-)

1. A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past.

2. The condition of being homesick; homesickness.

I now live in a small town outside Milwaukee, and unless there is a strong east wind, I can't smell much of "Old Milwaukee" anymore.  But I think that longing for things goes much deeper. When I was a little boy I remember watching television with my parents one evening and feeling very sad and saying out loud, "I want to go home." My mom had this concerned look on her face and said, "but, Danny, you are home." My response, which my mom thought was very strange was, "my other home." I remember this very well. I remember not really knowing or even understanding what I meant by that. There was no "home" that I had in mind, just this over-powering feeling of nostalgia for a different place, a strange place that seemed to defy my ability of expression. Admittedly, I have always felt at home in this world, so I'm not trying to say that I am originally from a different world. I am absolutely of this world. I am writing more or less in regard to emotional states whose substratum is something much more complex.

There is something in the idea of "feeling" and "emotion", not the mundane feelings and emotions, but the ones that are non-ordinary, the ones that leave a residual sensation behind that transfigure the entire world you are seeing.  I am really talking about the feeling you get during a profoundly meaningful experience, a strange dream or a visionary experience. These are in truth mental passageways to the Celestial Earth, which is not an escape from the physical domain, but a radical re-integration with it...but without all that mass. For all intents and purposes the Celestial domain is the physical world in that it has shape and form. The only difference is that matter becomes light.Keep in mind that nostalgia is really a longing for home, and if you don't already possess that longing, than you haven't really thought much about home. I don't mean "home" in a generic kind of way. I am talking about the home that exists not in some far off dimension or world, but the one that exists beneath all the dark layers that form over our personality the older we get. It is likely that before you even feel homesick you have to learn to slough off all of the weighty debts that anchor you, body and soul, to a strictly telluric existence.

For a couple weeks my experiments have been about holding that nostalgic feeling and then projecting the Mundus Imaginalis, which is a constant presence within me and superimposing it over my physical vision via visualization. Needless to say for me the experience has been outrageously successful beyond my wildest imagination, literally.My first attempt was in my car on a clear stretch of road. I played audio that had the tendency to evoke this nostalgic-mystique.  The golden rays of the sun managed to work their magic enough to create a very odd setting reminiscent of my childhood adventures on the streets of Milwaukee. The further into our childhoods we go, the lesser our debts. To hang on to the perception we had as children, is to situate ourselves very closely to the imaginal. For thirty seconds it felt as though I had been transported literally into a different place and time. At some point on my ride, I saw a group of people in a field off in the distance that appeared to be waving me to stop and come closer. After they saw I was going to keep driving (because I was losing the feeling) they just waved goodbye to me in a very energetic sort of way. By appearances alone, and as strange as it may sound, it looked like they were wearing rather normal clothes. The only thing that caught my eye as being different was that they seemed very tall with long silvery hair. As far as facial features went, I couldn't see that far. The one thing I noticed was that the more I attempted to concentrate on them, the more I began to come out of the experience realizing that I was essentially "losing the feeling" that was allowing me to behold this strangeness. One thing is certain, there are diverse presences all around, good, bad, and indifferent. The very idea of "going home" seems contingent upon the nature of the individual. In other words, people that are inwardly chaotic will tend to jump everywhere having no real ability to hold on to any place or group in particular. The people focusing in on the dark or stuck there via their own familial or personal debts, tend to inhabit what I am now calling "grayworlds" which lack color and luminosity and seem to be inhabited by barely conscious human beings that are stuck in a loop that mimics their earthly life.

There are two possibilities in all of this. The first one is that I am losing my mind and hallucinating at will. I have never ruled out that possibility. The second possibility is that I managed to crack some kind of code internally that has now allowed me to enter into that domain quite freely by holding onto a mental state for a short period of time.   I am now in the process of detailing all of these findings and will likely begin posting them shortly. I will be visiting Montauk again in June and I suspect that my visit there may be even more illuminating than the last time.

Earlier in this post I explained that I was dealing with matters that aren't measurable. Let me explain this a bit further. In the instance when I was driving on the stretch of road, I had my camera running as well as an audio recorder. I began a countdown and once the experience began I remember shouting like crazy in my car at what I was seeing. It felt as if I had hit 88 miles per hour and entered a different world. I distinctly remember yelling at the top of my lungs, "Oh my god! What the hell is that? Where's my phone? Where's my phone?" I was going to try to call someone when I entered this transfigured world. Now when I went back to play it all you can hear is the audio I made coming out of the car stereo. Even stranger the camera just a few seconds before "the change" managed to fall out of the contraption that I had made for it and was recording the back seat of the car. Nothing that happened was recordable. In fact, this series of weird occurrences has happened with every experiment I have done now. Nothing shows up or a strange series of events happens that prohibits it from happening. Perhaps this is similar to how the Large Hadron Collider continually jinx itself when playing with realities that cannot be expressed logically.

It used to be that when I heard people say, "yeah we tried to record the aliens coming into our house, but the camera broke the night they arrived" I would automatically tell myself that these people were lying. Now I understand. These things cannot be recorded in any way because the physical domain will not allow it. In a manner of speaking it is an abomination to the present order of things.

Solving The Communion Enigma: A Review

2012-01-06T21:07:00.000-08:00

Let me just state for the record that Whitley Strieber's books have been a companion of mine for several years now. I first came across Communion in 1989 or 1990 after my Grandfather gave it to me to read. I own all of Strieber's books including his early fiction. I have been very suspicious of his nonfiction even as a lifelong experiencer of the strange. With that being said, I think it goes without saying that Luminosity has a kind of love-hate relationship with Whitley Strieber. I think a lot of this boils down to that nagging question I have had about him from the beginning, "is he being genuine?"

I don't know Whitley Strieber personally, but it is fair to say that he has endured some extreme abuse over the years in regard to his experiences. I remember sitting up with my wife one night watching him on Craig Ferguson's "Late Late Show" where he was promoting his fiction book, "The Grays"(?) and literally squirming in my seat. I said to my wife, "Look at this jerk. He's trying to make a fool out of him!" During that show Ferguson attempted to make a mockery of the entire subject. All in all I felt Strieber handled Ferguson's bullshit quite well.

Having been deeply involved in initiatic circles at one time, there are many brilliant people (and unsavory ones) that I have personally known that hold his writings in very high regard. At one point I wrote a post on Ed Conroy's book, "Report On Communion" and Whitley was kind enough to leave a brief comment thanking me for the post. Having spent a very long time in the pursuit of truth, I have to admit that his books have been indispensable to me and many others.

I pre-ordered "Solving The Communion Enigma" for my Kindle a few days ago. My wife was working on the Wednesday night graveyard shift at the hospital so I did some reading of Hans Urs von Balthasar's book "Fire and Spirit" which details the writings of Origen and fell asleep on the couch. At about 12:05AM on Thursday I awoke to that same powerful hum that I wrote about in a previous post. As is usual for me, I took a look around and saw nothing. I was getting ready to go upstairs to bed when for no particular reason I turned on my Kindle. I noticed that the Kindle had automatically started downloading Strieber's new book a few minutes after I hit the button. I immediately perked up and tore into it. From shortly after midnight to about 3AM I was accompanied by this external hum that was absolutely relentless. At several points it would pulsate to the point I could feel it at the back of my neck. Whatever the source of this humming was it was dead set on keeping me awake for a few hours while I read.

I knocked out a good chunk of the book Thursday morning, and finished it up this evening. Let me start by saying that if I were to make a list of pros and cons of this book, the only con it would get is that it does cover some UFO sightings and other incidents that have been covered elsewhere. However, he does this to set up the reader for the second half of the book, which I would have likely spent much more than $12.99 for. There were parts of the book detailing the more or less sinister aspects of the phenomenon that left a very intense sort of fear in me. There was a point where Strieber went into a strange series of murders that were taking place in the 1980s in which homeless people were being abducted, mutilated while alive, drowned deep in the ocean, and then placed near where they were originally taken. He explained also the similarities between these murders and the animal mutilations that are widespread today.  The implication was that these murders were possibly being carried out by the intelligence behind the abduction phenomenon.   Hearing these types of stories have always been fascinating to me because they deal in matters that are very dark and challenging. Strieber also adds other experiences he had been enduring from around the time he purchased his cabin in upstate New York. One experience in particular that had a very sinister undercurrent which I also found incredibly interesting detailed a strange storefront he and his wife had nicknamed the "Whore Store". I don't want to give this story away and highly recommend people buy the book.

The real reward in "Solving The Communion Enigma" is the speculative writing Strieber gets into. This is why I think I have appreciated his books so much over the years.  Strieber gets into a very interesting argument that kind of straddles both the initiatic and the ontological. That argument is essentially what if there is no God in the classical sense, and mankind is in effect inhabiting an infinite void of sorts. This also delves into Everett's many-worlds theory. My only issue is whether or not these other worlds are actual worlds splitting off at every moment, or if they are simply non-manifested, potential, or possible worlds that never actually manifest.   This also touches into some of Anthony Peake's ideas, whose books I also recommend.

Toward the end of the book, Strieber touches upon the idea of this void and the madness it tends to induce.   He explains that a confrontation with the truth of being trapped in this infinite void (that means all of us) tends to transform a being, some for good and others for ill, at least that's how I understood his interpretation of it. This of course leads to the positive and negative encounters that people tend to encounter in their experiences with the other-worldly. This is highly reminiscent of what I have explained in my own experiences of dealing with what I term "Stragglers" or beings that have crossed the threshold of death, but seem to be decaying, and "Posthumans" that seem very much luminous.

Whitley then goes into what I had been suspecting his book was going to cover, the dead and their relation to the phenomenon in general. All in all I was very pleased with his take. While he doesn't reduce the encounter experience to human dead alone, he doesn't reduce their importance either. He explains very well what I have been uncovering for the last six months, there are more than just physical human types inhabiting this world. There are physical humans, and what he refers to as "radiant" humans. This is similar to what I have been explaining about physical humans and "Posthumans" that actually emanate light, much in the same way the man he encountered shortly before leaving his cabin in upstate New York emanated shards of light. There is so much more that can be covered here, but I will have to leave it at that. Strieber covers everything from the Alien Head crop circle, which I absolutely believe is genuine (pictured above) to odd encounters dating from the 1930s. If you are a reader of this blog and are interested in the encounter phenomenon in general, I highly recommend taking the time to get acquainted this book.

The Conspiracy And Mind Control Delusion

2012-01-01T09:42:00.000-08:00

Like many others that came before me I have always struggled with the idea of evil, where it comes from and why it exists. I have heard some of the most ridiculous interpretations of this question, and some that were well thought out. Ultimately there is no answer that can be put to paper or explained through human language. The answer to the question goes far deeper than the intellect is able to travel.

Life can be unimaginably harsh on some people. In the lifespan of this blog I have now dealt with three people that wanted to exchange dialogue with me but managed to emanate such bat shit craziness that I had to end the dialogue.  In all three of these cases, the person adopted the prototypical stance on oneness even though they were entertaining the possibility that there was something much more complex at work. Toward the end of these dialogues, the most curious thing happened. The person disavowed the idea of oneness and new ageism, but at the same time fell further into these areas without even realizing it. They would later attack me (even though our exchanges were originally very warm) for being "divisive" among other things. Believe me I don't deny that charge at all. I am very divisive because unlike the cheap spirituality offered in books and in spiritual communities today, I understand the importance of self-endurance in the face of dissolution. All of these primordial currents that ebb and flow in the physical domain, the ones representative of life and death, exist also in us. When the moment comes, they will either deliver us or consume us depending on the individual thoughts and actions of the individual. It is therefore very important to keep ones sanity and understand that good and evil cannot be excoriated from the physical domain as so many new age teachings promote.

Evil comes into the question because the overwhelming message of the oneness crowd and their variants is the idea of transcending good and evil in order to partake in a more "energetic reality". In a word, they very slowly adopt the idea that evil is a matter of opinion. Once a person takes this stance, they have effectively taken the first step toward insanity. This becomes a long process of inward subversion that is only exacerbated by the conspiracy milieu of our day, an insanity that goes hand in hand with the oneness doctrine and new age crowd in particular.

I believe that most conspiracies out there today are factually delusions. The modern mind is often steeped in conspiracy madness until it becomes ingratiated into the individuality. The same process occurs in those that believe they are abductees/contactees only after being steeped in the alien abduction literature for long periods of time. Gang stalking is yet another perfect example of this, which I have touched upon in another post. These people actually believe that everyone in their line of view is following them. Soon they begin to believe they are being electronically harassed by CIA technology that causes voices to emerge in their head. Yes, I know that technology actually exists, but I also know that this is a very common delusion among schizophrenics. I also know that in many cases, when these people are taking psychiatric medications these delusions go away. Here is a youtube example of how bad the gang stalking conspiracy delusion can get. In the video this man gets on to a New York subway pointing his camera in peoples faces accusing them of following him and basically mumbling under his breath. This is not a conspiracy at all, frankly it is very sad:

This is the view from the mind of a person far gone into the delusion. There are many more subtle delusions that abound. Take men like Ted Gunderson for instance. About two years ago I purchased a book called "Ultimate Evil" by Maury Terry, which went into the idea that the Son of Sam killings were carried out by a cult rather than David Berkowitz alone. Admittedly Maury Terry presents a good case but this is almost immediately nullified when you realize Ted Gunderson had a part in the information Terry was receiving. In fact, Gunderson had a hand in just about every conspiracy theory of our times leading any sane person to at least consider the idea he is the front man for something more nefarious, most likely a part of some disinformation drop.

Oddly enough I remembered Ted Gunderson, a former FBI agent, from when I was a little kid. One evening in the 1980s my uncle was watching a Geraldo Rivera special on Satanism. I remembered this so well because the show came out during the whole satanic scare of the 80s when stories were being put out that satanists were skinning babies and other horrors. Growing up in a Christian home I remember guests at our house having a breakdown one night because someone across the street had a five-pointed star in their window at Christmas time. It sent some of the superstitious people that sometimes came by into a tizzy. A woman from down the street, who was a superstitious old bag began to spread rumors (only after hearing all the talk about the "satanic star" at Christmas) that the family that lived across the street were practicing satanic rituals and that she once heard "death music" as she walked by one evening. Considering that I was friends with that family, I knew the stories were bogus. The more these people congregated together talking about the matter, the more these delusional ideas emerged among them.

Now Gunderson had been behind many of these conspiracy scares including the Franklin and Presidio Scandal. While I am convinced that very bad things do happen including the pandering of children to pedophiles (like Sandusky), I think that most of these conspiracies are disinformation drops created to get the hounds off the scent. These days, with idiots like Alex Jones spreading all sort of disinformation, people are very much consumed by ideas like satanic ritual abuse, reptilian agendas, and an entire host of other conspiracy theories that runt he gamut of bat-shit craziness. But what is the real purpose of all of it? What is the real conspiracy behind the faux-conspiracies being promoted by the disinformation machine called the internet? What is all of this hiding?

It doesn't take much to send people who are already beginning to entertain these conspiratorial ideas into a state of inward contention, obsession, and imbalance. Have you ever met a die-hard conspiracy theorist who listens to Alex Jones and believes everything they read on the internet? How about some of the no-plane 911 truthers? There is something profoundly wrong with their mental processes.

In many ways it almost appears that the internet re-wires they way we think and I don't believe it is for the better. I think that in general the internet is creating pseudo-wisdom where everyone has a knowing of the surface of a particular idea, but it goes no further than that. Having the ability to read a few paragraphs of whatever one desires, then moving on to another topic tends to disallow us to concentrate and focus on one thing thereby gaining a real understanding. The internet search for wisdom creates a kind of A.D.D. where a person moves from one topic to another unable to focus for long periods of time. Ultimately, this will stunt even the process of self-exploration because it causes a person to remain pre-occupied with other things. This is not to say all conspiracy theories are without merit or that cover stories shouldn't warrant our suspicion. I am simply saying that you will never uncover the answer to these questions on the internet.

It seems to me that the conspiracy fad is a conspiracy itself, a kind of psyop being conducted on the public that gradually manipulates the way we think. We have become entertainment oriented and what this has brought about is an atrophy of the mind. This atrophy of the mind has lead ultimately to the subversion of humanity in general.  It isn't just the Larouchians behind ugly conspiracy theories that include satanic ritual abuse and pedophilia, it is also the new age movement. It seems in many ways that spirituality and conspiracy go hand in hand on the internet and one truly has to wonder why.

In the beginning of this post I touched upon the idea of evil. I firmly believe that the human mind is under attack through a process of degeneration that is now attacking us from every angle. This always happens at the nadir of a cycle when people are willing to tolerate any idea no matter how ridiculous or evil it may be. It is believed by some that Aristotle once said, "Tolerance is the last virtue of a dying society." I tend to agree with this statement. What ultimately concerns me these days is the blurring of the lines between good and evil that technology has essentially brought to our front door. Sadly, a good number of people no longer possess the intellectual acumen to find their way back to truth and foundation. I cannot count how many times I have listened to someone in the new age discuss how good and evil were outmoded concepts belonging to old paradigm thinking. And just where has this lead us? It has lead to mass depression, suicide, and a host of other psychiatric issues because so many people have fallen into a spiritual vertigo unable to find solid bearing in their soul.

What is the reason for saying these types of things and negating good and evil? Well, the answer is very simple. It allows every unrestrained current and compulsion in the human psyche to have unrestricted access over human individuality. Make no mistake about it, the world has gone crazy and there is no turning back. What we are witnessing is the mass inward diminishment of humankind as they gradually sacrifice their inward nature for a purely outward existence. When primordial and unrestrained forces of existence are without a human center, they have the tendency to rip the world apart starting at the human psyche. It must also be kept firmly in mind that the outward world is in fact the outward reflection of the collective inner state of humanity. As more and more people that bear tradition die off taking their Xvarnah with them into the post-mortem phase, the effects in the physical world become more pronounced and chaotic. Our present era over the last ten years has run into a losing streak of bad luck, some manmade and others being natural disasters.

Miscellania

2011-12-30T22:40:00.000-08:00

My most recent posts have been getting a lot of hits, more than this blog has ever seen in the past.  The hits began shortly after I wrote about my late night encounter on the bridge which seemed to straddle both worlds, the physical and the imaginal. I have received comments from several people and emails detailing similar experiences of what others perceive as a different world they have briefly entered. Most of the people writing to me about their experiences are making the connection between their dreams and the portals leading into this celestial world. For the most part these experiences last only a few seconds and leave people with that typical sense of nostalgia I have been writing about.

At this point I think I need to explain that I am not entirely certain that the changes I am witnessing are personal or more universal in scope. It goes without saying that others are clearly having similar experiences, but where these lead, I can't pretend to know. Truthfully, I believe that most people today are oblivious to much of what I write about. So it is highly unlikely this has anything to do with a mass psycho-spiritual event. What I will say is that the further into this I get, the more I am beginning to see others write about this subject of the hidden companion in different ways. A commenter recently named the movies Melancholia and Another Earth as movies that explore a different approach on this theme involving two worlds essentially coming together. From what I saw of Melancholia, it has a very apocalyptic feeling to it.

I saw the movie Jacob's Ladder in 1990 when I was still in High School. I have stated elsewhere that it had a profoundly strange effect on me. I held onto the strangeness of this movie for many years always revisiting it for reasons I didn't entirely understand. In a way, Jacobs Ladder also deals with two worlds and probably much more accurately because it deals with life, death and the sometimes rough transition into the post-mortem states. After seeing it I had very disturbing and obsessive thoughts that I had actually died during my NDE and my own life had become little more than a dream. A great deal of my "hallucinations" of seeing my dead grandmother, which I had detailed on this blog, started shortly after my NDE, so seeing that movie couldn't have come at a better or stranger time.

The gist of the movie is that Tim Robbins who plays Jacob Singer is back home from the Vietnam war and is being stalked by strange people that he believes are demons. His life essentially becomes a nightmare and you are left wondering if all of his experiences are real or if he is suffering some type of hallucination brought on by the traumas of war.

In the end you realize that not only are the experiences Jacob Singer is having not real, but neither was his life. Essentially Jacob had died in Vietnam and the entire movie is a post-mortem hallucination taking place while he is dying on a gurney after being stabbed with a bayonet during battle. This is somewhat similar to Anthony Peake's "Bohmian Imax" idea. The "demons" that were stalking Jacob Singer were essentially plucking him from the physical domain. His trauma and suffering in the movie comes from the fact that he was denying that he was moving into the post-mortem phase. The final scene is by far the most moving scene of Jacob's Ladder.  I know I gave out a spoiler, but if you have never seen this movie, I highly recommend it.  The theme of being unknowingly dead or existing in a kind of synthetic world is one that is laced throughout this blog. However, it's not that I believe the physical world isn't real or that we are all dead in the sense that Jacob Singer was dead or dying in the movie. I am simply trying to explain how the idea of a second earth, mundus imaginalis, celestial earth and others ae being communicated through the culture at least indirectly. Furthermore, the idea that I am promoting here is that life as we know it in the physical domain is strictly one movement in an endless revolution that leads either to the intensification of being or on the contrary the diminishment of the being.

"Everything man pictures to himself, all that he really perceives, whether through intelligible or sensory perception, whether in this world or beyond, all these things are inseparable from man himself and cannot be dissociated from his essential "I"." - Mulla Sadra

I believe that the typical person suffers from an error of perception. The closer we attempt to view matter, the more we find that it doesn't seem to exist at all. In a sense we are living in a mirage that we whole heartedly believe is real. In September 2008 I was beset with a very serious problem. Against my will, I was experiencing inner states that came upon me totally unexpected. These were some of the most terrifying experiences I had ever had. I had come home from work one night 9/22/2009 and the floodgates had been opened. I had been made witness to an existential loneliness that was so soul shattering that it caused by physical body to buckle.

At some point I came to the stunning realization that I was the only person that existed and that life was a kind of theatrical play that was protecting me from this terrible existential loneliness. The people in my life were like actors that were being broadcast into this world from a point deep inside of me. This happened in a single moment. I remember dropping my drink on the floor and realizing that nothing was ever going to be the same again. This event was an initiation into mysteries so far outside the literature that you would be hard pressed to find any written record on it although it is alluded to in some works.

I was experiencing intense bouts of de-realization where nothing that crossed my path had any solid reality to it.  This idea of my singular existence was not simply an idea I was considering.  It was a deeply ingrained certainty in my everyday life. When I looked within myself or outside of myself there was only me and this honestly scared me to death. My first experience of this effect was so intense that I thought I was dying of a heart attack and yelled to my wife to call me an ambulance. Of course physically there was nothing wrong with me. I was just so stunned that I didn't know what to do so my body just crashed.

This inner feeling went on for months and was absolutely eviscerating. I was humbled entirely by it. The only article I have ever read online detailing it aptly was written by El Collie, a wonderful woman who passed away some years ago.  After reading it there was no doubt in my mind that she was talking about this same existential loneliness that I had felt and how it was indeed a part of a much larger process. After time it had dawned on me that I had been assailed with this knowledge ever since I was very young. Back then, however, these feelings came usually after I got out of the shower and would comb my hair or brush my teeth. When I would look into the mirror for too long this odd feeling would come over me. If I looked at myself too long in the mirror I would have to quickly look away.   The feeling was that God was hiding inside of me and if I looked long enough he would accidentally give his hiding place away and the very secret of my existence would be given away. Strange childhood experiences like this allowed me to view religion, particularly Christianity not as an outwardness of God, but rather a divine presence within me. This is how religion should be interpreted and not with outward signs where the divine is secularized or put into historic linear time lines.  A good illustration of how the sacred has been secularized is how people understand the word "prophet". In our modern culture people believe that word means someone that tells the future. However, its real meaning is a person that understands and promotes sacred doctrines.

Ultimately, God can never be the object or perceived with the senses in this world or in any world for that matter. All objects by nature communicate an imperfection or a created nature.  How can God exist "out there" without being composed of matter making him no better or greater than any other physical living thing that possesses attributes? God is therefore always the ultimate subject even when we are discussing separate individuals.

For generations people have bemoaned the so-called absence of God. The problem is that the expectations of humanity in a thoroughly modernized culture demand a God that furnishes evidence of his existence "out there". We have become so outwardly (dis)oriented that we have literally sacrificed our inner life replacing it with weak metaphysical schema, religious fundamentalism, various new age spiritualities, and conspiracies in order to re-acquaint ourselves with this missing part of our humanity, our Seraph. The problem is that all of these things give us an very inaccurate view.

My experience of this existential loneliness, as dark and painful as it was, was an experience of God who is imminent and present within the individual, so close in fact that it is quite easy to miss him entirely. It was not that I was God or had become God, only that my identity and environment was contingent upon this hiding game of God. Whenever Dan Mitchell made an attempt to meet God within himself a curious thing would happen, he would disappear completely into a self-aware nothingness, making the very act of knowing God in totality a complete mindfuck.

Any valid search for truth that goes beyond merely hanging out on the internet, urges a being to explore deep within themselves. Even though we are individuals each unique and distinct, God is always the subject hiding himself within our personal individuality.  In other words, each person is a hiding place of God, a production of God's imagination that can never be undone.

Now on to the problem of oneness and why I am so opposed to it and all the new age principles that make it a virtue. The oneness crowd ultimately seeks to compromise the beauty and diversity of God's imagination by reducing everything to a fundamental meaninglessness or oneness. To summarize, all love and meaning dies in the impersonal. God cannot be separated from his nature, which is the constant emanation and expansion of diverse forms eternally. As lowly human beings we have no understanding how enormous existence truly is. The divine world isn't static in the least. It is in a continual state of ever growing perfection unto eternity.

The keen observer will now ask me, "if God is secretly the subject hiding behind every individuality, why does anything you are saying matter? If people believe in oneness isn't it because God makes them believe it?"  Even though we bear God's image, it is our free-will that gives us individuality. We are all born out of the imagination of God and fixed into a separated existence (earth) that makes us real in order to participate in a more intensified state of existence.

So while everything may indeed be in God or emanated from God one can equally say that Prince Hamlet wasn't Shakespeare even though Hamlet was created through the imagination of Shakespeare. These were two different people existing in two different worlds. The same rule ultimately applies to the relationship between man and God. Man absolutely has the free will to turn away from his divine counterpart and God will do nothing to stop it.  That free-will is ultimately what makes us real and entirely separate entities from God.  If everybody is one at the most fundamental level than everything means nothing at all. Oneness is a thinly veiled nihilism.

"Since all the planes of the universe are so many theophanic acts issuing from the absolute Divine Imagination, there could be no question of reabsorbing, denying, or annihilating them without going counter to the theophanic divine Will. Such a revolt is preciely what creates the condition of the people of Hell, because they have not understood." - Henry Corbin

Today we have been indoctrinated to a very materialistic view of human existence. In a manner of speaking we have almost totally divorced ourselves from our innermost nature, which is factually an entire world that escapes our notice. This ghastly illusion of materiality can only abide for so long. Nothing imperfect can ever survive the ravages of time. People have grown tired. More people than ever before are committing suicide, taking psychiatric medications, and suffering the typical effects of a synthetic existence based upon the fundamental lie that the material world is all there is.

I believe that we are reaching a critical point in history. It may well be that we have reached the end of the creative process of this world altogether. I say that based on the very simple observation that nothing new is able to enter into the physical domain. The greatest indicators of this are found in the artistic output of the modern age. Cinema and music are always remakes today. There are very few original things to be found. This can only happen during a period of time where the currents of renewal that used to give birth to new ideas and civilizations are at a standstill. Much like today.

I can hear another person saying, "Mitchell is full of shit. How can we be at a standstill? Look at modern technology--computers, blogs, the internet etc." I will say it again: technology is virtual creation. While it does indeed do a great service for humanity, it is not the sole standard by which growth and renewal are measured in the human sphere.  It's toll has been the furtherance of synthetic culture and the docility of human nature particularly in the west.   True growth and renewal takes place within the human being alone not through electronic devices. Transhumanism will likely be the next step (if we make it to that point) toward the dissolution of mankind in the physical domain, the melding of man and technology into a living nightmare. If such a point were even possible to reach, bringing mankind into virtuality rather than actuality, the very course of life would move toward absolute meaninglessness.

Encounters With The Strange

2011-12-26T17:13:00.000-08:00

Behind us and in front of us is a great mystery. When we look back into the past, we soon find that before the time of our birth everything regresses into a great mystery of oblivion. When we look to the future, we find the same thing. We are ultimately confronted with an unknowing, an oblivion that we can only speculate about. As human beings, we have been barred from the full picture. Most of what I write on this blog deals with metaphysical questions as well as encounters with the strange. For the most part, I attempt to make sense of the things I tend to encounter.

Since Friday evening my wife and I have been hosting various get togethers in our home with family and friends. I deleted my previous post because it was not to my liking. Whether this blog is being monitored or not, I frankly don't care. I have nothing to hide. This blog deals with the timeless and the strange, not conspiracies. The reality is that if the government (or anybody else) came knocking on my door looking for answers or information from me, I'd freely tell them everything I know. It is highly likely that I would be labeled a kook and be laughed to scorn. That's pretty much the norm for me anyway.

With that being said, I will say that after a long absence I have had two very odd things occur. First of all, last night the humming I referred to in my very early posts had returned. This humming seems to be a common occurrence among those involved in the encounter phenomenon. At about midnight when this hum became almost disorientating I said once again to my wife, "How can you not hear that?" The vibration was so strong that I could physically feel it vibrating on the back of my neck. In a previous conversation I had with a well-known researcher several years ago, I explained that the source of this humming feels like it is coming from something physically enormous. It just has that feeling of massive power to it. Were I to close my eyes during such and event, the imagery of a giant object would probably be hanging in my mind. Looking at this experience now, I view this as a bleed-over from the imaginal domain into the physical. Without a doubt, the source of this hum is a machine that exists in "that" world that is vibrating itself into the physical. I say that because the more in tune I get with how that world works and how it couples with this world, the more these answers are intuitively coming to me. If I were to look hard enough or go outside during this humming event, there is little doubt that I would eventually see something bleed into the physical. I believe that this humming is likely a type of signal. I have only heard it at night and that makes me wonder if it is meant for those already asleep and dreaming.

The second event happened late last week. My wife had called me and asked me if I thought it would be a strange occurrence to see people (a middle aged couple) walking down our street looking like tourists taking pictures in front of mailboxes waving. When I asked her what they looked like she said that they were wearing thin summer coats and these really strange looking baseball caps. "What's strange about the caps?" I asked. She responded that the crown instead of going around the top of the head looked almost like a long angled tube as if their heads were like cones. We later did an image search on strange baseball caps and found nothing that matched. Now I am always willing to not record these types of events and I wasn't going to record this one until this afternoon.

I had off of work today and went outside early to take out the trash. To my surprise I saw a yellow cab parked down the street. Then I saw what I am pretty certain are the same two people my wife saw last week running toward the parked yellow cab. I also need to note that this yellow cab was an early Checker Marathon, the same type from the movie Taxi Driver. To my knowledge these taxis are non-existent where I live. This entire scenario looked so fake and theatrical that I am at a real loss to even say what I had witnessed. Even though they were quite a distance from me, I can tell you that I did see the strange baseball caps my wife was referring to. One of them was wearing a huge camera around his neck almost like a 1950s vintage, but maybe it was something more recent or expensive. Even though the cab was stopped, they were running like they were trying to catch up to it. The man who was in the front ran and acted like he was out of breath before he reached the cab. As this unfolded there was this almost dreamlike quality to what I witnessed. It kind of felt like this was something you'd see in a movie. It wasn't quite right. As they got into the cab I noticed that one of them was pointing up in the air as if they were sightseeing and spotted an airplane. I mean this was so ridiculous I can't even use the right words to explain how off this entire thing was. I had literally stood there holding two bags of garbage just watching this happen and unable to take my eyes off of it. One thing I will mention is that on the street I live we have had several odd encounters in the direction this couple was pointing. Several times a month we will see what I can only call "lightships" that do weird maneuvers. Whether these are airplanes in the distance having a weird effect with the atmosphere, I honestly don't know. I'd certainly be willing to divulge the location to any interested researcher.

Since I was a little kid I have witnessed these theatrical events that don't really come off right. A sinister side of this came in the form of an encounter I had with Jeffrey Dahmer when I was about 12 or 13 years old. I lived about two miles away from Dahmer growing up. This was when he was on his killing spree. I had been playing baseball in an alley when a friend of mine noticed a guy who appeared to be peeking his head out at us every few moments. Living in that neighborhood you'd often have run ins with drunks and other strange characters. But I never forget a face. Someone yelled out, "Who is that?" A couple moments later someone threw a rock in his direction to flush him out. When he stepped out I got a good look at him. At the time I thought he was taking a piss, but now realize he was probably up to something else. Realizing this guy was watching us and acting weird we picked up rocks and started throwing them at him as well as running toward him with our bats. To us at the time this was an encounter with a local freak that was starting trouble. I have to admit that he took off running fast. It is doubtful he was afraid of us (we were all pretty young) he was likely afraid of pissed off parents calling the cops. At the time Dahmer had already committed murder. When his crimes came to light I remember having this sort of surreal moment come over me because without a doubt this was the same guy and he was clearly lurking in the neighborhood I grew up in. Just another reason why I say this area was very odd and is still very odd.

I have to admit my ignorance over these types of events. I don't know why they happen or their purpose. Seeing a guy walking a stroller in the middle of the night on an isolated road in the north woods. Seeing strange little men walking through the neighborhood wearing odd masks. Witnessing a strange looking family in a weird van driving through our neighborhood supposedly molesting and kidnapping kids or staring into peoples windows in the middle of the night. And the list goes on. This plays out even now all these years later when I believe I am getting a grasp on what is happening.

Now instead of the yellow cab driving in my direction toward the main street, he did a y turn and took the long way around. I suspect this is because they didn't want me to analyze the cab and its passengers as they drove by. This would have likely really given them away and probably made a much more interesting post.

In some ways it is appealing to say that these are cryptoterrestrials that look similar to us that live on the earth and cannot fit in to our culture. I have stated in other places that I have seen strange looking people dressed in very odd clothes over the years that tend to communicate a non-human presence. While it is not easy to spot them, once they are spotted it becomes obvious that you are in the presence of something very bizarre and out of the ordinary. Who or what these people playing these things are I can't be certain. If I were a betting man, I'd say that they are dwellers in the imaginal, capable of somehow switching over into the physical for a time, but perhaps only at a distance where their secret cannot be entirely revealed or closely observed.

i n t o t h e l a n d o f n o w h e r e

2011-12-18T16:28:00.000-08:00

The things that Luminosity deals with are ultimately beyond this world. In other words, there is no "when or where" when discussing matters that seem to exist beyond the temporal-spatial existence of the physical domain. With that being said, to summarize the nature of this blog, it deals most specifically with the nature of the mundus imaginalis and how that world impinges into this one via the human imagination. That statement isn't entirely accurate, however. The human imagination is not a mental faculty as much as it is a living world that we have access to but have reduced to non-existence or even ephemerality.

In an earlier post I detailed "passageways" that lead to the imaginal domain. The passageways existed within the human being and not via some strange technology. In order to create them, a person had to first learn how to overcome the more dross mental and emotional nature of their own individuality. It seems that by and large the journey of every human being is just that-a transference out of one state of existence and into the next, which has possibly an infinite amount of gradations that continue to expand with every new individual that contributes to the Pleroma of the Celestial Earth. When we take a moment to think about the amount of people that have passed out of physical existence in the last 5000 years alone, we can begin to see just how large the world that exists beyond may actually be. In order to access the Mundus Imaginalis or Celestial Earth, the internal portals must be activated and for the modern mind, that is no easy task because it is overwhelmed by stress, technology, and mental illness. All of these negative traits are in fact the symptom of spiritual sickness that infects people today, a sickness that literally creates a seeming chasm between the physical domain and the Celestial Earth.

I have met with a group of people within the last two days that have essentially turned my world upside down. But to ask who they are and where they come from is something that is not easy to explain. Therefore I need to explain how all of this works. The greatest secret we as human beings can possess is the knowledge of the Celestial Earth and our passage into it either upon death or through initiation. Today, very few centers of initiation actually exist. What you will find are centers of counter-initiation and spirituality based upon entertainment. In Guenonian terms this is essentially the last abomination that is allowed to exist before a metaphysical dissolution takes place. In a word, I firmly believe we are now in the terminal phase of a long creative cycle of life. New things can no longer come into existence because the life-giving manna that once fell from heaven has been stolen by the dogs. All that is allowed to occur is the mixture and remixing of things already existing. This is a mimicry of creation. You can see this in art, music, cinema, and architecture today. Listen to a Kid Rock song and you'll see exactly what I mean.

I use the term Celestial Earth to describe the "celestial earth", "na koja abad","mundus imaginalis" and etc. I use all of these terms interchangeably. Because that place is so spontaneous is cannot even exist in the temporal spatial domain. All communication between the Celestial Earth and our Physical Earth must take place in strange events that ultimately defy our understanding. These events are found mostly in the high strangeness phenomena. These things are as much part of us as our own anatomy. There is no escaping this.

Everything in the human imagination exists first in the Celestial Earth because it is literally a piece of the Celestial Earth. If you can imagine a thing, it is only because it is a communication from the CE that the mind is able to "pull out" and put into physicality. Our imagination is the true passage to that world. Now with that being said I need to explain what I have seen "there" since the summer of this year when I fully and lucidly stepped in. My work is to essentially revitalize the understanding of this domain and its relationship to this world and the individual. I have personally witnessed:

1. Human dead that live in neighborhoods that mimic the physical world. This place is essentially their last chance. Failure there means total dissolution of the human identity. Very bad things happen on the outskirts, things that should never be talked about, but rather corrected viciously if need be.

2. Cities of great size that make anything we have in this world pale by comparison. Many of these cities are Arcadian in nature giving off the feeling of total sacrality.

3. Airplanes the size of aircraft carriers that take off and land at airports that are hauntingly strange to look at.

4. The sun and moon. Rivers and mountains of insurmountable heights.

5. Automobiles and other forms of transportation that are out of this world literally in shape, size, and speed.

6. People of enormous stature.

7. Very small people.

8. Gnomes that look every bit as they do in fairy tales.

9. Buildings of enormous size.

10. Luminous nature where blades of grass are as slivers of light and rivers are pure blue whose scent is of the utmost freshness.

11. Blimps the size of planets floating in the sky.

12. People that communicate in numerous languages but are understood by everyone regardless.

13. Forms of life that can only exist in fantasy novels and dreams.

14. A world where it is always daytime in most places.

15. A world where even the night remains luminous.

16. A world that is utterly human though existing in a highly transcended state of being.

But how can any of this truly be? How can everything I write here even be possible as ridiculous as it sounds? I cannot answer that question. In the past when I spoke of "the larger world" I had seen only glimpses of it and they were too strange to even speculate about. The beings that live there are not easily approachable in the present human form with all of its baggage and hostility. It is clear that communication with these people is enlightening. Those that inhabit this place while human, have let go of the dark things in themselves and appear very much illuminated. Therefore the structure of their life is far different. I have seen no form of government or even the need. Life appears anarchistic and playful in nature, but not childish or infantile. The people are unimaginably mature. There is no inner or outer to them as there are here with physical humans. What you see is exactly what they are. Nothing is hidden and this is why there is such a strong sense of sodality there. The idea of family is very much present there. Let me explain this further.

I found myself once again in an ecstatic state only two days after my follow-up post. Whether in my living room or sucked into an entirely new reality body and mind, I can't begin to speculate. All of this occurred once again during the dead of night. I found myself in a wide open room with several others who seemed as oblivious as I was to our presence there. There were six tunnels that led to this open room I found myself in. After several moments I began to hear the single beat of a bass drum every few moments in the distance. After that I heard snare drum beats playing. Not more than ten seconds after hearing this drumming I could see figures walking down each of these tunnels headed toward the room we were in. There was laughing and cheering. It felt as if the people headed our way were singing what I can only say were folk songs of some kind. They sounded very uplifting, kind of like you could only sing them if you were drunk and in a really good mood. The drummers in the front were of a large stature. In a clockwise motion all of the people from these tunnels began to fill in as if this were some sort of ceremony. The center most part of the room was empty as if they were circling around the middle point of the great room.

I stood against the wall on the outside of this circle watching the people fill into the room from the outside in. At one point a tall man with bright red hair and huge green eyes walked by and punched me in the arm and said, "Have joy, little brother, it's a celebration after all!" The punch nearly knocked me off of my feet, but there was no pain. When he saw how I had almost fallen over, I heard a boisterous laugh that I felt reverberate in my chest. There was no ill will in any of it, in fact, it felt very good humored and playful. I had this overwhelming thought which came to my mind, "these are my people and this is where I am supposed to be." I can only guess that my appearance was one of apprehension and this was a way of saying, "loosen up you are about to witness something very important". I remember thinking the entire time, nobody is going to believe this. Nobody at all.

The drummers were hitting the drums in a frenzy and I distinctly felt this in my chest. As this drumming went on that ecstatic feeling sort of increased to the point it felt like my body has possibly transformed into something else. The drumming then stopped abruptly and I heard a man say, "Have reverence! You are in the North!" This was followed by, "The era of homo vulgaris is coming to an end. Let there be only light." From one of the tunnels a very wise looking man slowly began to walk into the now silent room. There was a sense of holiness that followed with him. I distinctly remember everyone get down to one knee. The spot that had remained open in the center of this room was reserved for him. If I had to estimate the height of this man I would say he was a proportionate 10-footer decked in a long white robe, very strong and wise looking. I had never seen anything like him in regard to presence. The thought that flashed was that he was an Archangel or a man that had lived for a million years or more. It felt natural to bend the knee to him, not out of subjugation, but out of love and respect. His presence communicated the reality that there was no corruption in him. His hair was white-blond, his eyes very large and blue. He looked young, but wise as if he had somehow transcended the ravages of time unscathed. His fingers, much like my own were oddly long, but still very human. I was wholly unable to stop staring at him. In my mind I kept saying "who is this man!" over and over again. This was only followed by the sense of being at home and in the presence of brothers and sisters who I had been separated from for a very long time.

When he spoke it sounded like waters rushing down a river. It was so pure that I had can not describe the sound. All this time I knew that everything I was hearing I would not be able to bring back with me. After a while, when his speech was over, he began to walk around the room speaking to the people. After a while he approached me and put his hand on my shoulder. His fingers went around my shoulder and hung slightly passed my rib cage. This man was an absolute giant of pure presence. I found it unimaginably difficult to look him directly in the face. He was too good, too kind to even be human or to even pay attention to me. I instantly knew that this man knew everything about me. He spoke to me about personal matters and I listened very carefully. At some point I asked him if he could give me something I could bring back to my wife so she would believe me. This came out so pathetically that I immediately felt embarrassed not by the question but how I asked him. His gentle response to that was, "soon everyone will believe." The gist of his speech at least what I can remember dealt with something monumental that is about to take place "throughout all the worlds". Whatever that meant, these people felt that this event should be celebrated. What I will say is that what I do remember proved to me that the people that inhabit Celestial Earth have very little respect for most of physical humanity today. As kind as they are, they referred to the people of this world as "Homo Vulgaris" which basically means "The Vulgar Man" this implied that what was taking place was something very destructive and age-ending, something they felt was a good thing. I will not speculate further on this because these apocalyptic ideas take place at every level of the experience.

Now before I go any further it is important for me to explain my own ignorance of these types of visionary and revelatory experiences. Are these also custom made to the individual? Are these images simply the contents of the individual imagination or is there a more universal application to all of this? For all intents and purposes, my understanding of the mundus imaginalis is that all ideas as within and without, personal and impersonal are gone. These cause and effect relationships exist only in realities that lack spontaneity like the physical domain and the ideas that are prevalent here. The feeling I get during these experiences is that the Celestial Earth is more real and more spontaneous than the physical. I say this based upon the fact that the experience is supra-sensory and spontaneous. This other world seems to possess the archetypal existence of everything in the physical domain. Our physical world is like a tiny snippet cut off from an artistic masterpiece and separated from the whole.

In some ways it appears as if the Celestial Earth in some parts retains similar structures to the physical domain. The levels of existence in that world depend on the degree of spontaneity the people and the "area" possess. The main "truth" that seems ubiquitous there is that existence is a ladder, there is an upward movement toward the Sun, which in that world is a very pure representation of God that everyone is aware of. The shady outskirts of the dead lack this light because the people inhabiting it are in a state of rebellion, shame, fear, and hostility. Their environment reflects this much like the troubles in the physical domain reflect our own inner problems. The scenes of physical cities at some point begin to vanish the higher or deeper one goes. There comes a point when things like crystal cities and landscapes of unimaginable and impenetrable beauty begin to present themselves where Godlike beings walk in gardens of insurmountable beauty. I have literally been stopped at one particular place that I cannot see beyond. I think that my passage there requires nothing less than the sacrifice of my physical earthly life.

The first territories a human being will encounter in dreams and visionary events like these is the realm of the dead, the shady cities of dreams where our demons sometimes roam. Initiation in the physical domain seems to put a person smack dab into this strange dark world. And as dark as it is, it still exists beyond the physical domain. It is the first rung on the ladder toward infinite heights and depths. This dark world of the dead is the visible form of our mental and soulish nature. If we are burdened by demons and emotional baggage, getting out of this place is no easy task. Being burdened means that while the spiritual body is being pulled into its proper upward direction, it is being stretched out and disfigured by being anchored to a purely physical existence as well. This often proves to be too much for many people, particularly the modern human being. For this reason, only the most selfish, disturbed, ignorant, and hostile individuals will ever suffer a long stay in that shady underworld. And I suspect even fewer will experience true metaphysical extinction.

The experience at least for me has entered into a visionary and revelatory mystique that offers a much clearer picture of the reality that is beyond cause and effect. In the past, while my own personal demons were being exorcised, the experience proved itself to be unimaginably negative. This was largely due to my own very hostile nature and my inability to get beyond the things I was unable to change. Whatever was plaguing me was doing it because I had opened myself up to it and was functioning on the same sinister wavelength. It seems to me that whatever degree ones inner self has been cultivated will ultimately decide the form life takes on the other side. So unless you want to be surrounded by terrified maniacs that are slipping into the abyss of extinction, you had better put your own corruption away. I have to admit that there are no bounds to the perversions and horrors I have personally witnessed among the stragglers I have described elsewhere in their makeshift physical domain. Furthermore, in many instances I believe these same dead people are able to communicate with people in this world and seduce them with ideas that render them little more than food for the dead.

Follow-Up

2011-12-14T18:11:00.000-08:00

My previous post developed much further than I imagined it would. It feels that I may have now entered an entirely new phase of the experience, one that straddles both the subtle and the solid in equal measure. Before I checked any of the leads I had related to my previous post, I wanted to first write everything down as I remembered it. This event was potent enough that I felt unable (and unwilling) to even go into work on Tuesday. I decided to instead investigate the previous night the best I could.

After finishing my previous post, I had some coffee and breakfast and waited anxiously for the sun to come up. Once up I decided to drive over to the bridge to check for markings that I distinctly remember seeing during the night of this experience. Not exactly to my surprise one marking was there, a name "Brandon" while the other two, a star and what appeared to be a graffiti tag were not there. To be fair, I did not remember the name "Brandon" during this experience, I awoke and wrote down the name as "Brannon". Considering the closeness of that name, the exact location that I remembered it, and the fact that I had not been on that bridge in many years, I find it difficult to believe this is all merely a coincidence. Furthermore, I know that the graffiti in that area is often cleaned up regularly so the fact that I got this snapshot when I did also shows there is more to all of this. But it gets stranger.

Tuesday morning I was continually trying to call my friend that had texted me. Finally, later that morning he called me back. Because I didn't want to lead him I decided to wait to hear what he had to say. He went on to tell me that he had been at a brewery the previous night with his girlfriend who drove him there (and doesn't live with him) and some of her friends. His girlfriend went home fairly early and he stayed to chat with his cousin who he says arrived at the brewery shortly after he did. As a side note, I personally know his cousin pretty well and do not believe he would lie to me.

I need to explain that this particular brewery is a little over a half mile from the bridge where I remember this event happening. Considering that my friend lives over ten miles away from this brewery, I was getting anxious the further he went into the story. At some point in the night my friend says that he had too much to drink. For whatever reason his cousin left him without giving him a ride home. He believed that he may have said something that upset his cousin, but he can't remember what it was or even being drunk.  Then he finally asks me "did you pick me up and bring me back home this morning?" I told him that I was home all night.  By this point in our conversation I already knew in my mind that everything that happened that night was real to some extent. Exactly how real, I can't be certain.

His response was that he thought we met up at some point that night, got drunk, and were walking on the bridge trying to find my car.   He then says to me, "I knew that was a weird thought because you never drink." I need to make it clear that my friend seldom drinks to the point of being inebriated. In fact, the last time I remember it happening was at a Christmas party we went to nearly three years ago. So for a 36 year old man with his head on straight to get drunk and just start wandering into the night is something that is clearly out of the ordinary for him. Secondly, I have never known anyone to ever get upset with this particular person because he is a very nice guy to everyone he meets including strangers.

He went on to say that our trek "got hairy" a few times. I noticed this as well. Instead of walking on the bridge, he almost walked on the side of the bridge (missing the approach) which would have taken him down a steep hill and possibly into the traffic below. As this conversation went on,  I had to gently remind him that I was at home all night.  The one thing that was real in his mind was that I was there with him on the bridge.  He then mentions our other friend who I also remember seeing as being there but lagging in the background.  He then adds that there was "some young girl was walking behind us". For a second he thought it may have been my teenage daughter. My daughter has her driver's license now and I recently helped her buy a car.  My friend thought that maybe she was the designated driver. He wondered if maybe she drove him home. She was at home sleeping when all of this would have transpired.

During this conversation I truly felt bad for him. I say that because this was very reminiscent of my "Through The Obsidian" post where I struggled for days trying to piece events together. For nearly five days straight my entire house was under assault. I would show up to work at 5am not knowing how I got there, or why I showed up early. I couldn't remember what I had for dinner the night before. My wife couldn't remember making dinner, going to sleep, etc. Events such as getting home from work seemed to stop abruptly and then all of a sudden I was showing up at work the next day. These gaps in time and spontaneous appearances are unimaginably strange. For a time I truly wondered if perhaps I was dead and living a pseudo-life.  This idea plays very prominently in all of my experiences. When all was said and done, my mind learned how to integrate these gaps and even create false-stories in order to protect myself from what potentially took place. I am now beginning to believe that all human life may be non-linear and consensus reality is simply piecing it all together to form a cohesive whole that may not even be there. Strange events may occur when we catch on to this pseudo-linearity or recognize something out of place. This is all speculation of course.

Before I got off the phone with my friend I told him that I'd like to stop by. The whole point was to let him in on my own experiences and potentially in on this blog. My emotions were really kicking my ass the entire morning and most of the day. This wasn't negative at all, it was simply that I could literally feel the presence of this other world just outside my perception. It was so shockingly similar to the feelings I got while in Montauk that every place I saw had this kind of strange sacredness to it.

I wanted to explain to him that even though I didn't pick him up that night with my car that I did remember walking with him and a small group of people over that bridge. The only problem is that I was at home sleeping. I never physically left my house. How does one approach such a conversation and not cause someone to be even more confused? Having known this man for a long time, it was clear to me that he was aware that something odd had happened on Monday night that he could not explain. He was doing everything he could including false scenarios to prove to himself this was simply a drunken misunderstanding. Words simply failed him. He told me that he texted me at some point from home before he went to bed which means that when I received his text, it was potentially within minutes of whatever transpired.  I called my own waking up from this event as a "instant re-appearance". He said he showed up sober in his living room with the feeling of insomnia where a long period of time had passed, but it only felt like a few moments. After that he crashed for a couple hours.

I couldn't get in touch with him after the text because he had passed out in his living room. While I did visit him for a short time on Tuesday, I am waiting before I get into any discussions of things that may now be interfering in his life. To jump into my own story and the events that have transpired, which very few people know about, would only make matters worse. This will all have to be done in small steps. My posts will at least reveal that these events were recorded should I ever point them out to him.

I also need to explain that after I left my friends house yesterday I called his cousin to ask if he had been at the brewery Monday night. Immediately his cousin told me that he hadn't been there in years. To cover my tracks I told him that one of my brothers thought he had seen him there. Essentially this means that my friends cousin had never arrived at the bar even though my friend claimed that he did. The only thing that can be established is that my friend arrived at the brewery Monday evening with his girlfriend (who now claims she never saw his cousin, but went on his word that he was there), somehow thought he was going to get a ride back home, and wound up in a scenario that really doesn't compute to common sense including my own.

I finally decided to call the other person that was also on the bridge during my memory of the event. When I called his cell he didn't have time to talk because he was in St. Paul, which is an entire state away. I asked how long he had been there and he said since Monday morning, which ultimately means there was no way he was physically present on the bridge by any normal means. He didn't seem to act strange or seem as if he had anything truly important to say. I plan on talking to him more this Saturday.

On my way back home after stopping to see my confused friend, I decided to stop at the store and get a few things for home. When I pulled out my wallet to pay, I noticed a yellow piece of paper written in my own handwriting that said:

   Brandon
862-671-xxxx

I stood there sort of stunned for a moment and immediately had a flashback. At some point on Monday night/Tuesday morning, when I was walking through this strange neighborhood, I came across an individual talking on a cellphone. This was before I met the black-haired woman. He kept dialing his phone saying, "Help! Help!"  His eyes were very large and his mouth didn't quite seem right.   I could tell that this person was going through the post-mortem phase. I have seen these types of people before. He was dead and trying to "call out" to someone on the physical side of life because he couldn't figure out the terrain and was likely being stalked by someone in that neighborhood. His face was beginning to disfigure because his fear was taking hold of him. That's why I say his mouth didn't quite seem right. He came up to me at some point and kept saying, "Call my mom. Please call my mom!" He told me his name was "Brandon".  I took his phone and asked him what her number was.

I kept trying to dial the number he gave me, but was somehow unable to do it. At one point the phone rang and a voice was on the other end. "Hello. This is Brandon's mummie."  The female voice on the other end frankly scared the shit out of me. It wasn't right and it seemed almost sinister and mocking. At this point I also began to get a bit shaky. This man was clearly dealing with his demons and they were coming through to me over his phone.

Being in such close proximity to him was causing a kind of subtle fear and confusion to come over me.  It felt like I was talking to one of my kids even though this man was probably in his twenties. I kept saying "You have to be brave here. They will eat you alive, Brandon." It almost felt ridiculous saying this because my hands were shaking and I was getting profoundly worried about my friends who I somehow wandered away from. It felt as if there was a vicious "gang" moving in on this younger man perhaps trying to feed off the fear he was emanating. Throughout the experience I had seen these dead "people" wandering in this odd neighborhood, some most definitely looked like they were beginning to look like your typical gray aliens (though very human looking) while others were simply disfigured or appeared to be amputees. I did not feel at all threatened by them as I stated, but there was some fear. None of them made any attempt to move in on me, chase me, or even threaten me. What they did do is look directly at me. So they were clearly aware that I was present there. In a way, I took this to mean that I had moved out of their wavelength for lack of a better word. I also feel that had fear gotten the best of me or if I made an attempt to run, they would have "killed" me where I stood and this event may have lead to some type of damage to my overall well-being.

Finally the younger man snatched his phone from me and started running away.  The further away he got from me the fear seemed to vanish. It was at that point that I pulled out my wallet and wrote down his name (the same name on the bridge) and his Mom's phone number, which he had given to me. The only problem was that the little piece of paper was illegible at the last four digits. The question I have for myself was how, where, and when did this happen? If this was not a physical event, then why is the phone number physically in my wallet? At what point was I able to write down this phone number? I awoke in a t-shirt and lounge pants this morning. I never carry my wallet in these pants because there are no pockets. There are so many questions between here and there that even attempting to put all of these events together into a cohesive whole I can speculate about causes a non-sensical event to occur. All I can say with certainty is that events emerged and somehow linked with the beyond in such a way that tangible results occurred.

The purpose of this event, I believe, was highly symbolic. Parts of the Celestial Earth are highly symbolic, particularly where the dead live on the outskirts of town. My wandering unharmed in this neighborhood, which seemed to be a place where a higher class of dead people lived like human beings, seemed to mark an event, mainly my first real encounter with my splintered better half.   Beyond that I can only say that my warning to keep the other world "in mind" when the time comes seems to reveal its very close proximity to consensus reality at the present moment. I can only say that with the increase of synchronicity and events that are very much occurring here and there simultaneously, a new picture of "the event" everyone seems to be waiting for is beginning to come more in focus.

The Transfiguration Of The Earth

2011-12-13T04:28:00.000-08:00

I apologize if this post seems disjointed or rambling. I am writing it within moments of another event. I awoke about twenty minutes ago and wouldn't really call it awakening as much as I would an instant re-appearance in full consciousness on my bed. Because my wife is working the night shift at the hospital and isn't due home for another hour, there is no way for me to know whether or not I was (or wasn't) physically present. Several moments ago a friend of mine, who I "saw" during this experience sent me a text message that only says "Dude, call me when you get up!"

I need to preface this post by quoting the last sentence I read in Henry Corbin's book, "Spiritual Body And Celestial Earth" before going to bed last night. The sentence deals with the post mortem state of the human being.

Pg.46 - The outcome of the struggle is either transfiguration or demonic disfiguration.

I awoke this evening, likely near 2:30AM in full consciousness on a bridge in the city with two of my friends. My appearance there was instant. A third person remained out of our view, but was somehow guiding us toward some area we needed to be at beyond the bridge. I do know this area fairly well so I am talking about a physical place. The breeze that was hitting my body the entire time of this event was sending me into a weird ecstatic inward state. I felt very pleasant and very much indestructible. I live in Wisconsin so it is fairly cold this time of year making be believe that there is much more to this event than I can easily explain. My friends seemed somewhat out of it in regard to being fully conscious of what was happening. While walking over the bridge I could easily see that there were very few cars out driving, which made me estimate 2:30AM. I even remember certain marks on the bridge that I intend to find today once the sun comes up. The experience of being wide awake and in this scenario was nothing short of odd.

As we walked across the bridge there was the sense that this other presence was making sure my friends wouldn't fall off and onto the street below us. We made it across the bridge safely, but what was on the other side of the bridge is NOT what is normally there. The overall feeling while going across the bridge was that we were on our way to meet someone. We soon found ourselves in what appeared to be a neighborhood of houses like I have never before seen. The architecture was so unique that I found myself trying to make sense of it. It was not at all ugly, but very haunting and even beautiful. If I had any artistic ability I would attempt to draw these houses, but unfortunately I don't. This ecstatic feeling that followed me from the outset of the experience is overpowering me to the point that I am losing track of my friends. At some point we split up in the neighborhood. That's when I eventually see her.

I eventually come to a hill that has steps on it. My friends have went in their own direction and it seems that this was the whole point. Sitting down on the first step is the same black-haired girl from an earlier post I did. Rather than being confused she greets me gently and says, "I've been waiting for you." This black haired girl is unimaginably beautiful and kind. There was no sense that she was confused or in any type of pain or even under any type of control. What I noticed about her, which I have noticed about other "beings" I have seen as of late is their milk white skin, which is stunning to see. It is not unattractive in the least, but incredibly luminous. Seeing her this time was different because she was in no way confused or attempting to deceive me. We talk about things that nobody else could possibly know about, personal things from my childhood and even until now. There is this knowing present within me that she was also there during the most painful and profound moments of my life. I finally come to the question, "Are you my Seraph?" Her response is that she is and that I will need to "Hold This Earth In Mind When The Time Comes." What she is ultimately saying is that I will need to meditate upon the Celestial Earth or Mundus Imaginalis either upon my death, but most likely during some coming "super event".

Now I need to explain something I missed in that earlier post I linked. One of the disfigured entities says to me:

"It will be difficult for you to run when we have taken half of your light."

This is profound, because now I actually understand what he meant. For months now I have been discussing the bi-unity nature of every human being. I am of the very strong opinion that the Seraph, particularly in men is female. After they said this, the same dark haired girl was brought in the room confused and calling me "Louie". Even in that post I described this girl as "beautiful" which was a very clear distinction between the people I was dealing with who were very much disfigured. To take half of me, or to take away the Celestial Pole (Angelic Self) would cause a confusion in the Terrestrial Pole (physical self). This is exactly what happened. This leads me to believe it was me that was confused during that event which caused me to view this girl as some type of confused dying woman. She was, after all, "Half of my light."

I believe that there are two important pieces of this experience. First, when I wrote "The Stragglers Return" I was in a somewhat troubled state. What played out before my eyes was likely symbolic, taking place between this world and the Celestial Earth in that grey and clouded area where the darker aspects of our humanity as well as where the confused dead reside. In my experience last night, there was little difference. I was still walking partially in that world indicating that for whatever reason that I am still confused myself. I was seeing what I can only say were human demons or disfigured people walking in this strange neighborhood before I reached the steps, but instead of hassling me and causing that state of physical paralysis and confusion to take hold, they left me alone. In fact, they did not come near me at all and there was even some strange sense of mutual respect between us. I am lead to believe that upon death, some people create a world for themselves that mimics this world to a large extent. It allows them, perhaps, a smoother though gradual transition to the celestial earth, which is a highly ecstatic experience that abides moment to moment forever.

The second part of the experience is what I now understand to be a reality. This world has begun a process of transfiguration. Dolores Cannon, who I largely do NOT agree with has written something about how there is a duplicate earth out there that will eventually be populated by humans. She has likely scraped the surface of this transfiguration idea via her "contacts". It may be that she suffers from a degree of confusion in all of this as well. Things may get lost in the way we translate the experience. I do not believe this transfigured earth is a separated earth, but the celestial earth that is already present and beginning to mesh with this world in profound ways. In a sense we have lived our entire lives here on this planet in the belief that this was the full reality, when in fact it was only half of the story. What is coming, I suspect is a re-integration, a merging of solidified reality with imagination as well as the conscious union of the individual with its celestial or divine counterpart into a complete being that takes up residence in the Celestial domain or perfected earth. There is a very disturbing aspect of this as well. Nothing that I write here is new. It is the very timeless process of death. However, in order for this process to occcur in the terms it was explained to me (if true) likely relies upon an event that will lead to the earthly demise of untold numbers. I honestly don't know how else it could play out. I may be entirely wrong.

About a month ago I received an email from a friend and reader of this blog who told me that he had an experience of dreaming while he was wide awake in the shower. Two weeks after his email, I received another email from a woman detailing an identical experience of being awake with the sensation that she was also dreaming. This is an entirely different form of consciousness altogether that causes a merging between the normal human consciousness and the imagination, which is a tiny piece of that celestial domain. The woman explained that the experience was not at all unpleasant, but kind of caused a merging to occur that left her with a sense of inward "nostalgia". Now that is difficult to express certainly, but nostalgia is an excellent word for the sensation that comes after this type of experience. For several months now I have also had this experience and it feels like a foreshadowing of things to come.

When I "re-appeared" on my bed this morning, I had the distinct sensation that this celestial domain was lingering still in my perception. This lingering effect continued until I finished the first or second paragraph of this post. It faded leaving that same kind of nostalgic feeling. I will be taking off of work today to visit that bridge and talk with some friends. I will likely return soon with a follow up post.

Did The World End In 1994?

2011-12-07T19:36:00.000-08:00

...Of course not, but it's an interesting thought.

In the early 2000s I met an individual that referred to himself as "Reverend Bones". This moniker was more of a joke than anything. During those years I was heavily involved with various people in initiatic circles and had a rather large collection of strange friends and acquaintances that I would certainly consider unique in their own way. These types of small gatherings were fairly normal for me and were often times the way we would find people and introduce them to our "collective mystique". Most of these people came from the midwest, but there were others spread across the US and Europe.

I began conversing with this lanky individual about a number of things. For all intents and purposes he came off in dress and mannerism as eccentric. My first thought upon seeing him was that he was a "poser" and perhaps trying to take on this Crowley-esque persona, which I initially found ridiculous. Once I began to talk with him, however, I found him to be a very fascinating albeit strange individual. Almost immediately our conversation turned from books we had recently read to time slips and fake realities.

For some reason I began to tell him about a childhood experience of seeing a solar eclipse of the sun during a time, according to NASA, when there were no solar eclipses in the midwest. I explained that my memory of this event was strange and that I thought that some mass psychosis had taken place because I remembered seeing people running down my street screaming in sheer panic. I distinctly remember my little girlfriend's mom running down the street yelling, "What is going on?!? Oh God where is Serena?" The look on her face has since been burned into my memory. While this was taking place I was sitting on my front porch in a sort of disassociated stare attempting to take this all in. For me there were times even when I was growing up that I had this odd knowledge that the neighborhood I lived in was not real or perhaps an experiment of some kind.

In recent years I had come to believe that this event was perhaps some kind of mass abduction event that took place. I don't really believe that now and believe it was something much stranger than that even. To make matters even more bizarre, it almost feels like there was some tampering with my mind where these memories of that day were replaced with a cheesy memory (like a 1980s music video) of a water balloon fight that included almost the entire neighborhood.

When this water fight came to mind I immediately called one of my brothers and asked him, "Do you remember this huge water fight during the summer of such and such year?" He responded that he had remembered it pretty well because there were so many people filling the street. Then he said, "It felt like a dream." This statement immediately caught my attention. I questioned him further, "But do you remember Serena's mom running down the street in a panic? She looked like she had aged twenty years." This memory truly haunts me because she looked like she had been literally pulling her own hair out. He was silent and then kind of stumbled and said, "Yeah I do. What was that about? She thought her daughter was kidnapped or something?" At the very least my second witness links this strange water balloon fight to seeing this woman running down the street having a nervous breakdown trying to find her daughter. I then asked him if he remembered anything weird about the sun that day or seeing an enormous blimp in the sky. He responded that it was really sunny that day, it got abruptly cloudy, and that he couldn't remember how this water fight ended. What seemed to bother him the most was that even though this was a fun thing that was happening, there seemed to be something more ominous about it. His words almost exactly were, "It was like a nightmare hiding just beneath a good dream." What gets me about this exchange is the simple fact that he even remembered it and associated the memory with being "dreamlike" in quality. Why?

As I told "Reverend Bones" parts of this story he began to take a very intense interest in the subject even saying that time wasn't linear, but was a composite of past, present, and future happening in a kind of spontaneous though fake reality. Glitches in perception and strange events were caused when the "entities" behind the human assemblage made mistakes. Admittedly, this idea doesn't make sense to me even now. He then went on to say something that was almost so ridiculous that I barely wanted to write this post, but since I mentioned it earlier, I figure why not. "You probably won't believe this, but the world ended in 1994." I remember feeling kind of stunned by this statement and laughing at him. Obviously he wasn't kidding and said that people won't understand it now, but in the coming years reality was going to come off more dreamlike and meaningless. He invoked the movie "Jacob's Ladder" which has been a favorite of mine since I first saw it. He used this movie to explain that modern day humanity was actually stuck in a fake reality and that on May 10th 1994, during a solar eclipse, some event had taken place that killed everyone on the face of the planet. In his words, we are factually living in an afterlife reality that was disguising itself as real life. The main sign of all of this would be the seeming unreality of things the further out in time we moved.

Now needless to say I have received many odd emails from readers of this blog since I began here in March 2010. One of the most common emails I get are people commenting on this strange sense of de-realization that this world is no longer what it seems. One of the most common statements was "dream like". Now I'm not saying that what this person told me is true. I don't believe it is. What I do believe, however, is that this world truly is no longer what it was and my Reverend friend was clearly picking up on this as were lots of other people who had many different ways to express this feeling.

Now in regard to the solar eclipse of that day, May 10th 1994 it is even far stranger than anything else I have thus written in this post. I do wonder if perhaps that eclipse, at least to some extent, allowed my mind to see within the Pleroma or at least have it super-imposed upon ordinary reality. I remember being outside that day and seeing "entities" that looked very similar to the so-called "Elders" that Betty Andreasson saw during some of her encounters. These beings appeared to simply be walking around the vicinity of where I was. What bothered me the most about this was their apparent size. They were so tall that the mere sight of this left me with that same disassociated feeling from the event in 1984 when this fake water balloon fight had taken place. In the past this feeling truly made these experiences seem less real and even potentially imagined.

While I don't necessarily believe the Andreasson story, I will say that the very brief memories I have of this day seem to include things that would appear to exist solely within the imagination.

None of my memories from that day are cohesive or even coherent. I don't remember what if anything was imparted to me or even if there is a hint of reality to any of it. What I do know is that there has been a process at work in me for a very long time. I think this same process has been at work in others as well. In the beginning these experiences, which included everything from Gray aliens, "Elders", and even human dead seemed to cause a very detached state of awareness to take over me. The further into these experiences I went, especially since I began this blog, the less this disassociating state has been a part of it. While I have found myself in lucid communication with strange people and people potentially that are "Posthuman", there are still some remnants of a protective barrier . Some memories I am able to doubt the validity of, but others I cannot. I can only say that since these most recent confrontations with the strange, I have grown to understand more than I previously have. As strange as it may sound I believe that whatever is behind this, internal or external, the real purpose is to awake to a much broader view of life.

By and large I think we are missing something that is right in front of our faces. It is easy to dismiss it as evil or even as something positive. Ideas are ideas. For me the experiential aspect of this is really everything. If nothing I believe that 5-10-1994 could have been some kind of celestial turning point in this world, where the ideas of one period of time lead into another. While nothing is ever negated and I don't believe traditional ideas are a bad thing, I think that to get beyond an incomplete or limited view of things, we must learn to possess not only our ideas but also our internal mechanisms like our emotions and sentimentality's before they possess us leading not only to a loss of freedom, but also to a lack of growth and self-exploration.

Dreams On The Outskirts Of The Celestial Earth

2011-12-04T17:50:00.000-08:00

I received an email this evening that has essentially sparked a memory of something I wanted to cover earlier in relation to visionary or revelatory experience. In this email a reader of this blog told me about a dream she had of a woman that she knew who died of a stroke. In this dream she spoke to the deceased woman who seemed to exist in a dreamworld that resembled the normal world and even the neighborhood that she lived in. In the dream the recently deceased woman was doing yard work at a neighbors house. In my own experiences, I have had recurring dreams where I am living in a large cabin alone with my two favorite dogs who have both passed on. In these dreams I realize that I am dead, but living in a kind of limbo state working some things out. This cabin is kind of a cut-up of other places I have lived all combined into a place I am very comfortable in. It is very quiet, serene, and sacred. Exactly what this dream means, I don't know--perhaps a foreshadowing of things to come.

I have written elsewhere that people involved in the high strangeness and encounter phenomenon often times put a lot of emphasis on their dreams. In many cases, their dreams are very vivid and even visionary to some extent. While some dreams are indeed a very mundane affair, others are not. People that are in tune with themselves have the uncanny ability to very easily tell the difference between these mundane dream experiences and dreams that are more akin to visionary or revelatory experience where we literally touch the realm that exists just outside of consensus reality. Throughout all of my inner-experiences, I have come to understand that the Celestial Earth is very layered and the dead create all types of worlds that make up this endless tapestry that can be both beautiful and ghastly.

I use the following terms interchangeably: Celestial Earth, Pleroma, Heaven, Ideal World, Mundus Imaginalis, and Imaginal Realm. This imaginal world is essentially a vast and infinite world that is unfolding constantly while not taking up any physical space. It exists and affirms the fundamental nothingness and emptiness that is in fact the all and everything. Our inability to grasp this emptiness, which we continually mistake for real substance, has lead to so many metaphysical and even quantum paradoxes. The physical domain is an extension of that imaginal world, a kind of cast-away that brings a greater fullness or development to the constant emanation and expansion of this Pleroma. Again, much of this is my personal speculation based on several long years of contemplation and direct experience beyond the mundane. I have never done psychedelic drugs and have now learned how to enter into these "places" by simply slowing my mind and going into myself. Whether these revelatory/visionary experiences are natural DMT stores within my brain, I couldn't begin to speculate. With that being said, I do need to add something.

I read an excellent though somewhat conspiratorial article today linked off of rense.com on Henry Makow's website. I don't agree with everything Makow puts out, but I think he does put out some quality articles from time to time. It was about the constant bombardment of hallucinogenic drugs in modern culture as a means to subvert tradition or at the very least to control it.  The article was from Charles Upton, a traditionalist who writes:

"But I also want to say something about my generation's experience of psychedelics (I'm soon to be 63, Baby Boom). I took LSD 3 times, magic mushrooms twice, mescaline and peyote innumerable times, nitrous oxide several times (in and out of the dentist's chair), had one powerful trip on morning glory seeds, and smoked copious quantities of dope. I certainly can't say that I never learned anything, but I was also damaged in some subtle way. We hippies used to say, "SURE we were a CIA experiment, man -- an experiment that GOT OUT OF CONTROL (hee-hee-hee)." I heard the exact same thing from Prof. Huston Smith, who was a close friend. But after going on 24- years on the Sufi path, I finally got to the point where I could see how psychedelics had blocked my further spiritual progress. They open you up on one level, but block you on another, and that other level is very hard to see."

I don't agree with everything Charles Upton writes, but I do agree with a lot of what he writes. It has long been my experience that many of the initiates I knew who were big on psychedelics tended to lack the ability to get beyond the experience of oneness. Furthermore, it seemed that the more psychedelics they took and the more "vision quests" they went on, the more consumed they became with their opinions about nature, drugs, and the like. Soon the enemy became patriarchy, religion, and everything else that came off to them as "too stuffy".  Eventually it was like talking to a blathering idiot in that all talk about the complexities of initiation and transcendence died in the oneness and the worship of mother earth minus her redemption and transcendence.

If you take the time to watch videos of Timothy Leary you will see exactly what I mean. Years of this type of activity fully compromised his individuality. I say the same thing about many other counter-culture figures who essentially were the agents of dissolution for the intelligence community. In some cases I do believe that taking psychedelics may have some value, but using it as the sole means for visionary experience and personal development is ridiculous. This over-emphasis on the use of DMT and other drugs of this nature in many spiritual circles is one sign that very few people are able to experience these types of things outside of artificial means. This only proves what the traditionalists have been saying for years that the divine influence in humanity has fallen off a cliff since this dark age began well over three millennium ago.

It should be kept in mind the Charles Upton's thinking largely resembles that of Rene Guenon who essentially viewed the final goal of the human individual as a dissolution into the "Supreme Identity". As much as I respect Rene Guenon I strongly disagree with him on this point. If the inherent duality between observer and observed, individual and Godhead is dissolved, there is only oblivion and meaninglessness. It should be kept firmly in mind that this duality is not opposing, but complimentary. By dissolving this duality, experience, love, and meaning also dies making such a union of self to God utterly without meaning or purpose. If eternal death an oblivion is your cup of tea than by all means let that be your wyrd, but if you are like me and realize the sheer power of relationships, meaning, love, empathy, hope, and struggle you will see just how monumental of an error oneness-death truly is.

Now with all of that being said, I need to explain that our sole bridge to the Celestial Earth is the human mind, which is in fact, the human Soul. The only real enemy at death will be the human heart, which is to say the things that have burdened us or somehow managed to keep us oppressed in some way. I believe that the first taste we have of the Celestial Earth begins with our dreams. For most people dreams are merely non-sensical images that kind of come and go. Dreams take this form only when a person is barely conscious of them. Being barely conscious or not lucid during these dreams causes them to seem dis-jointed and non-sensical. The first time I realized this was during a dream I had nearly twenty years ago. In the dream I was walking down the street and encountered a very tall, thin man wearing a dark suit. He asked me if I could tell him what the pin on his coat said. He wasn't curious, it was clear this person was testing me. When I attempted to look at it, all I could see was a sparkling silver light. When I stopped looking at it, the image was again very rubbery with events shifting back and forth. I soon lost this man and went to normal dreaming.

The question I eventually had to ask was: is personal development actually about attaining a cohesive consciousness during dreams? This then moved to: are dreams actually a direct experience of the Celestial Earth? The answer to both of these questions within the last year has been yes absolutely! The physical domain is the Pleroma turned inside out and disguising itself in matter/substantiality. The further we investigate the elusive nature of matter, the more we begin to realize that it really isn't there. We think that all the reality is OUT HERE, but the truth is that it is really IN HERE an the only way to get IN HERE is to get there by way of the human Soul and exploring the depths of oneself. Dreams will always be the first step and no artificial means will every suffice what the human will must do alone and of its own volition.

I have had several dreams where I came into contact with human dead. Some of these dreams seemed to take place in areas that mimicked the physical world. It was almost as if many who have become recently deceased have created a world for themselves that is very close to this one. But there are some differences. It seems somewhat dark there. In that world there is something very large in the distance, a presence like an enormous city of light that illuminates this strange copy world of the dead. There is a hesitation in the people there to move toward this place.  I have an idea why this is, but I am not at all certain. This strange copy world that the dead inhabit seems to touch the physical domain very often. The people in that world seem to be able, at least to some extent, to reach out to the living. Some in good ways and others very ruthlessly. At this point I would like to explain what I have seen further into this Celestial Earth, which I was able to enter almost fully in July of this year after spending over a decade, and in fact, my entire life attempting to access it.

At some point in late June and into early July my first entrance into a place beyond the copy world began. I briefly wrote about this in an earlier post, but didn't go into any great detail about it. During the night the world here somehow slipped away. I cannot say that I fell asleep but I can say that whatever it was happened so spontaneously that I found myself in a very different place. What I essentially awoke to was a wide open world of unimaginably bright light. It was not that the world was simply white light, it was as if I had entered into a perfected earth that was unimaginably beautiful. I could see individual blades of grass that seemed to be made out of shards of green light. Everything there seemed to be a perfected version of what exists here. Knowing that nothing about this experience was right, I remember not feeling at all upset about his. It was simply too beautiful to care. My body felt unimabinably healthy, strong, and agile. I remember briskly walking through a forested area with rivers everywhere. I remember hopping on thes black shiny rocks in order to get across a small river. There was no need to even breath. Simply being was the natural state. While I had a body, it was very different. In fact, it was very clear to me simply by the way that I felt that I did not look like I normally look here.

During this experience I was waiting for someone. I will simply call this person "K". It was for all intents and purposes my muse and my Seraph.  When she arrived I remember feeling unimaginably well. This place was life in the ascendant. On earth we will always fall toward decay and death, but in this place it was opposite. Existence was constantly reaching a plateau. The experience of existence on the flip side of life in these terms was simply unimaginable to my mind. Spending only brief moments there I would have been ready to surrender my life, but that was not the point at all.  When I saw her, it felt as if I had been in a crowd of strangers and then came to a clearing were I saw this familiar face.

There was a long exchange of dialogue between us. All I can remember even now was a single snippet of what she said, "The summer never ends and the night time glows." I responded, "You mean like luminosity?" She smiled and said, "Yes, like luminosity." This was not in reference to this blog, but to a principle in general and mainly to a piece of writing I have been working on for some time. After this I simply came back to my senses, wide awake as if I had never left, and feeling like no matter how bad things were that everything was absolutely fine. This event, I believe was related to my Montauk trip and the "people" I encountered there. It seemed to me that they opened up some kind of door that allowed me access into their world.

Now at this point I need to express something that is incredibly tricky to explain and will likely sound very misleading. Please bear with me. When I entered into this place, a Luminous part of this Celestial Earth, I suddenly became God.  I believe that this is why I felt so good. But to say that you are God is a very ridiculous thing.  It was not that I had created the earth or people or even myself, it was that I understood God to be not only myself, but also all of these other very beautiful people I was seeing. God's very being was in fact these diverse and lively extensions or Luminous individualities. In a sense, the people that were inhabiting that world were adding to it, making it larger and developing its possibilities. The nature of God was to expand, to live for its tendency toward infinity. This meant that "everything" in the most continuous and endless sense of the world had to come into being.

That just sounds crazy. Believe me, I know. It is like understanding that the totality of individual beings in this Celestial Earth shared knowingly in Godhood, and in a seamless fullness that included everything as well as the infinite mystique of this fullness that was continually expanding into new possibilities, which means individuals of various kinds.  "God" included the sacred ground I walked upon that day and the wild and awesome sense of familiarity I felt for everything and everyone including myself. This was the only kind of "union" I could ever accept and needless to say it was ecstatic and beyond my wildest dreams. While there was indeed a "oneness" this oneness did not require the dissolution of my individual being, but rather an addition to it. Metaphysically speaking this would be like the Qualified Non-Dualism of Ramanuja who was one of the few possessing true knowledge of Vedanta.  I can explain it no better than this and can only say that this past summer was by far the furthest I had ever travelled into domains that I believe are only possible through deep and brutal self-exploration and analysis.

Strange And Subtle Technologies

2011-12-03T16:09:00.000-08:00

Several weeks ago after finishing up dinner with my wife and kids, we decided to do some cleaning in the kitchen. While my kids played upstairs, my wife and I decided to put up some new pictures in the kitchen as well as take down old streamers and decorations from a birthday party we had at our house a few days earlier. At some point we kept hearing a clicking sound that was very high pitched that seemed to be emanating from a box that was sitting on the floor. We looked at each other kind of puzzled and were looking for the source of this sound. While it seemed that the sound was initially coming from the box, it was apparent almost immediately that whatever the source of this thing was, it was moving around the kitchen. Because it was so high pitched, this echoing effect made it difficult to locate the source. I can only liken this to a cricket that is hiding somewhere in the house. While it sounds like it is in one place, it is actually an illusion created by sounds bouncing off the walls.

Within a few moments there was a kind of suppressed panic. Neither of us know why this feeling came over us. Unable to find the source of this clicking, we began to take all of the kitchen chairs and put them into the living room so we could sweep the floor. The kids started coming down the stairs and we very quickly told them to go back upstairs and play. There was a very determined effort at this point to figure out what his was. This oddly enough felt almost obsessive. While my wife was sweeping the floor I was scanning the floor with a maglite hoping to spot whatever this thing was. Our initial thought was that this was some type of bug hopping around.

To our utter surprise and after several hairy moments we located the source of this sound directly under the kitchen table. It was stationary for nearly a minute and for the first time ever I believe that I had lucidly witnessed a piece of technology that is not of this world (in a certain sense). I say this because frankly I had never seen any thing like it under these circumstances.

What we saw under the table was a thin white capsule the size of a grain of rice that had a single black dot on it. It had the appearance of being painted gloss white. It seemed very much shiny and even reflected light to some extent. When I shined the light on it, this thing popped up nearly a foot and would land on the floor. The hopping action is what was generating this high pitched click. Upon landing it would spin on the kitchen floor very quickly, stop, remain still for a moment, and then once again go pop. We were able to simply follow it for a time. My wife and I were almost frantic at the sight of this little thing because it was obvious it wasn't a bug or an egg. We didn't know what it was.

I need to say here that during the amount of time I saw this thing, the overall impression I got was that it was both mechanical and biological. There wasn't much to it, but this was just the impression I got. It almost felt, as strange as this may sound, that whatever this was it had a personality. It was clearly intelligent (in simple terms) and was making some kind of attempt to escape or at least move away from us and out of our sight. Both of us sort of stood there not knowing what to do. Even though this thing was directly in front of us there was this odd fear of picking it up. I kept saying "get a paper towel so I can grab it." I didn't want to touch it with my bare hands because I was very much unsure about what I was dealing with. But she and I were both so transfixed that walking away from this thing was just impossible. The question was kind of "what's this thing going to do next?"

While shining the light on it, there was again a pop and momentarily it disappeared somewhere on the floor. It was still present it was just out of our sight. We had managed to lose it again. After hearing several more pops it simply stopped and was gone. We spent nearly an hour scanning the floor in the kitchen and the living room for it, but came up with nothing. This event seemed to once again be our entry into another series of odd events.

A few days after this event we had another encounter with something very similar. We had a box of tissue on an end table in our living room. When I went to grab the box to give it to my wife, we both very briefly saw what appeared to be a marble roll over the top tissue. But it wasn't an ordinary marble, it didn't really roll as much as it whizzed across the opening very quickly. After taking out the top tissue, I kept reaching into the box thinking it was one of my kids little toys. I found nothing. Again we were very puzzled by this.

In the past I have witnessed technology that has appeared almost insect-like or even appearing like a jelly-fish /spider mix. My seeing these "technologies" has been very brief with the exception for the white capsule on my kitchen floor. I have seen these insect-things briefly on people, scurrying on walls or in the grass. The impression I always get is that this is something very subtle and I am not entirely sure where to place this. I strongly suspect that these are very simple forms of life, perhaps even shards of human life that have taken on very simple though potentially vampiric insect-like forms.

Random Thoughts

2011-12-03T00:30:00.000-08:00

The most appropriate type of daily life for me was a day-by-day world destruction; peace was the most difficult and abnormal state to live in. -Yukio Mishima, Sun And Steel

Before I begin this post I'd like to explain that this will likely be the final post for a time dealing with criticism of gnosticism and the like. My experiences as of late will have to be moved to the front because the activity has been picking up for the last several days including several very odd events that have now given me a much broader understanding of the relationships between the Mundus Imaginalis and this beautiful little world whose existence we partake in. This post will likely be dense because I have a lot to cover. If these more or less metaphysical posts aren't your cup of tea, I'd suggest reading no further.

I'd like to make a post today beginning with the four fundamental types of human beings because this will help explain, at least to some extent, the nature and perspective of much of what I write here. I subscribe to the early caste system of India, which is not a caste system based on race, color, or economic status as many westerners may believe, but one consisting of the unique inward human nature of each individual.   These four types of human beings are the Kshatriya/warrior, Brahmin/priest, Vaishya/skilled artisan, and Sudra/worker/untouchable.   Essentially, everyone can identify their nature to one of these types. These types also correspond to the four ages (and which group rules during that age) that make up a creative cycle.

The confusion comes in today because the centers of education (or centers of indoctrination) offer children a mass produced (oneness) education rather than teaching them in ways that are conducive to their own individual inward nature. For this reason, people today, especially children are very confused inwardly and will meander through most of their lives oblivious to their own inner vocation. With so few real teachers grounded in truth able to guide these children, the future of the world looks very bleak.

My own inward nature almost from the beginning was Kshatriya. When I first began to enter into the mystique of things my sole interest was the martial aspects of initiation.   My interest wasn't so much getting book smart or even attaining "knowledge." What I wanted, at least in the beginning, was power--not power in the mundane sense, but power in the sense of possessing light in the midst of a world that had become plunged into darkness. This would require nothing less than approaching the problem (me being the problem) and confronting everything that was weak within myself. This confrontation and struggle continues even to this day.

When I was in my early twenties and first read Yukio Mishima's book, "Sun and Steel" I came to utterly despise every idea that focused on the hatred of physical life and tradition. I saw these ideas being promoted in nearly every outlet of modern culture from movies to music. To me there was something that was very ugly about it. To hear people pass judgement on the past was something that was revolting to me particularly because my own inward nature resonated with a very outdated ethos and code of honor. When I began to make contact with certain "people", mainly those pretending to be spiritual masters and gurus, it was obvious almost immediately that many of these men and women were pretend wise. They couldn't manage to hold their lives, marriages, or their families together. While they attempted to promote this altruistic message of love and acceptance, they would sometimes confide in me their hatred for their wives or husbands or even their attraction to almost complete strangers who were often times 30 years younger. In one case it turned out one man had a fondness for abusing animals, which he was later incarcerated for. I learned very quickly that no "master" or "authority" could be trusted--especially when they denied freedom to those under their care.

There was something profoundly wrong and it soon became apparent that if some type of traditional remnant existed, a remnant that was preserving this grand tradition that I knew had to exist, it was hidden from the world.  I would later learn that while they remain largely hidden, they will often manifest in forms that disguise their real identity even using systems that appear on the surface to contradict everything tradition ultimately stands for. The purpose for this is quite simple. Traditional currents cannot exist or be sustained in this world unless they are veiled. It is simply the nature of the times. Any coming forth into an outer existence of such organizations will lead to a speedy dissolution. While I have heard rumors about the man that initiated me into this group, I still do not know anything for certain. What I do know is that never in my entire life had I experienced terror in the presence of another human being as I did in his. It was not that he was evil, it was that the further people penetrate into the divine, the more attributes of the divine they gain and will emanate.  It is rare to encounter such individuals today. I often wonder if the veil he wore upon his face that day was to protect me from his visage, just as the face of Moses was hidden behind a veil after looking upon the face of God so he would not instill fear into the people.

The real problem was that the modern "spiritual authorities" I encountered weren't explaining to their underlings that individual freedom was everything. These people wanted their subjects to think and act like they did. The manifested nature of the person has no choice but to be different in every case. The human imagination plays a huge role in all of this. A person cannot become whole or individuated until they learn to break free from the contrivances of the modern spiritual, gnostic, and occult movements.  When I was 25 years old I went into a bookstore and read a sutra written by Bodhidharma, who is by far one of my favorites. In that book Bodhidharma wrote, "If you question, you're wrong." What he was saying is that to question is a matter of cause and effect. Truth was beyond the question and existed in the domain of spontaneity where these cause and effect relationships don't exist. Therefore the real duty of the human being was not to question, question, question it was the affirmation of self beyond questioning. It is no easy task to learn to think along these lines.

Tradition exists solely to return the fullness of humanity to the individual That fullness goes far beyond the mundane. Modern spiritual systems exist to give you a feeling of peace or profit. If you really want answers your best bet is to throw every spiritual book you own and learn how to walk again. Swimming in ideas that never pan out is an exercise in futility and my opinion is that it is likely a dangerous practice as well. Whatever remains unreconciled in life will be forced to be reconciled at death. The post mortem state of the individual at death is simple, the mind, its actions, and the images it has accepted in life become its body. When that body is exposed to the light of the Pleroma shining in the distance, every ugly thing becomes revealed. The being either enters to its greater existence or it flees in fear and shame.

When I began to understand these things and began commenting on them, I was lucky enough to be "found" by people that possessed valid spiritual authority, at least to the extent that the present order of things allowed. Today people unfortunately swoon over words like paradigm shift, gnosticism, mystic, and spiritual evolution. Ultimately these things mean nothing if a person is unwilling to confront their own demons and take heaven by violence. Knowledge as it is described today merely covers the demons that inhabit the human psyche rather than freeing the individual. Knowledge without action is a mask that disguises our own shallowness and unknowing.

Admittedly, I believe that the terms "mystic" "gnostic" and even "shaman" are over used these days. I take a similar stance to that of Julius Evola that the very term "mystic", generally speaking is something of a vagabond in the most negative sense of the word.

vag·a·bond (vg-bnd)

1. A person without a permanent home who moves from place to place.

2. A vagrant; a tramp.

3. A wanderer; a rover.

adj.

1. Of, relating to, or characteristic of a wanderer; nomadic.

2. Aimless; drifting.

3. Irregular in course or behavior; unpredictable.

There is a denial of life involved in all of this spiritual talk today, particularly when we are discussing the modern Gnostic worldview which has essentially become the new worshipful master over many. Over the years I have known many people that were very proud of having the Gnostic moniker for themselves and even felt that they were somehow more advanced than others on the path. Believe me several friends of mine that also read this blog classify themselves as gnostics. At the very least they do read these articles and take them into consideration.

The advice neo-gnostics and mystics is often the same: Man like the physical world is an error created by an evil usurper Demiurge. As readers of this blog know, this idea at the most fundamental level is erroneous. The real issue is that causal relationships and effects do not take place in the acausal domain to begin with. In other words, human ideas cannot be ascribed to the divine world because that world, the Pleroma, Celestial Earth, or Ideal World and its inhabitants abide by a completely different set of rules. While they are clearly human, they are very much "cosmic" in nature and do not exist temporally or even spatially. I am convinced, as strange as it may sound that these same cosmic people are the ones pulling the strings of just about everything that goes down in the physical domain. There is little doubt in my mind now that this world is indeed an enormous farm.

Our world is indeed something of a cast-away. It is a beautiful little nothing that mockingly appears to be a something. It ends in paradox (as quantum physicists know all too well) because we are mistaken about what reality is at the most fundamental level; an empty nothingness that is somehow an infinite, endless, and continuous indestructible something that produces life in states of limitation so that they and "it" can partake in a fuller existence. But there is no error involved in this process, and there is no "evil demiurge" behind it. This idea, not surprisingly, is purely a reaction toward traditional currents and the inability of people to accept them, understand them, and more importantly to live by them. This is where all hostility in the face of tradition emerges.

Luminosity is an exercise. Chances are high that if it pisses you off in some way, it is somehow convicting you. The most negative comments I get from people are those that stem from their inability to deal with my tone or to accept the reality, beauty, and meaningfulness of this world in both the dark and light, the sinister and the kind. As much as I hate to say it, the destruction of traditional forms like family, personal honor, fidelity, chivalry, and honesty have lead to the emergence of a very hostile breed of human beings as well as those that have sapped the meaning out of life. In many ways I see this manifested in the way that men and women love each other. In a manner of speaking this fierce love between two people seems almost non-existent today. Marriages and relationships crumble either due to self-interest or emotional abandonment. I think that one of the biggest problems I had growing up as a teenager was that I cared deeply for all of the unbalanced young ladies that dated me, far more than they cared for me. It wasn't until I met my wife that this ferocity was matched.

Now I need to reiterate one very important point here. From time to time I used to get comments or emails from people that were either attacking me using their hoary age as a badge to tell me that I am wrong without offering up any solid evidence of my errors. Or I was being attacked by the oneness people because I was an offense to their sacred cow. The blue-hairs don't bother me one bit, however the Gnostics of the Tsarion, Chiappalone, and Lash school have the tendency to rub me the wrong way. Their main point is always, "these traditions you speak of are control systems, belief systems, and they cause people to be controlled." Let me be blunt. These people have yet to understand themselves or be a witness to their own hypocrisy. We are all conformists in this world to some degree. I will extrapolate.

I have stated elsewhere on this blog that the physical domain does not allow neutrality. Just as we cannot stop the earth from revolving around the sun, a person cannot stop themselves from believing something. It is a natural attribute of being human. If you have a brain you cannot avoid believing something. It is that simple. I recently listened to an interview where a well-known "spiritual teacher" and quantum physicist explained to his interviewer that belief systems were dangerous and lead to a limited view of existence. While it sounds good on the surface, it lacks validity for two reasons. First, even being against belief systems is a belief system, which makes him guilty of the accusations he makes against others. Secondly, as long as we are human beings we have a limited view of things. There is no escaping this. Until the mortal coil is shed, we live and abide in a limited view of life, a contrivance that cannot be transcended entirely as long as we are in the physical domain. The point is to not get comfortable in any idea, but to continually attack all cherished ideas we hold once they reveal their weakness.

In my personal experience of the Mundus Imaginalis or Celestial Earth, it will be offensive to everyone (no matter what you believe) to some degree because it reveals every idea we as physical human beings have as almost totally irrelevant. When I read nonsense like this I find it to be even more limiting because it creates a spiritual automaton in the form of a human being. Instead of admitting and allowing human uniqueness, it strives to create a uniform beast by saying that only the things that appear to be agrarian, vegetarian, love, light, crystals,oneness, and lollipops are the evolved human ideal. This idea is unfortunate because it excludes the majority of humanity and the very unique and sometimes dark paths that people take in order to emerge whole outside of this world.

                                                             Richard Moult

When I was younger I used to be mindless drunk, thug and brawler. I consider my present life a miracle in that I managed to succeed and raise the large family I always wanted without first being incarcerated, institutionalized,or killed. Whether I was getting my guts stomped out in a strip joint with my older brothers or more rarely actually winning a fight, what counted to me was that I gave everything I had. Every human being is different, we all have different abilities, dignities, and ideas. I can scarcely imagine the horror of a love and light world that doesn't allow or accept failure. A world like that can only offer a static enlightenment. It is in these flaws of human character that all uniqueness and strength emerges. Fleeing from the world into the wilderness is for the life-denying mystic, the vagabond and coward that refuses to live and to be forged beyond this world. Infinity stands before all of us as a gaping maw waiting to challenge us and beckoning us to enter into the mystique which is the dynamo of life here and in the hereafter. I don't doubt for even a moment that failure and trial exist beyond this world, though not in such simplistic terms as they do here.

In comparison to the fullness of the divine world and those entities "there" we as physical human beings are as nothing. All of these ideas and belief systems exist as vehicles and in the human domain that is all they can ever be.  What matters in the end is whether you owned them or whether they owned you.

I have said elsewhere that I am a dynamic work in progress. I am never satisfied with what I know or what I am capable of. I don't subscribe to quantum physics or gnosticism. It is far better to subscribe to the fiery trials of life and a confrontation with the dark, the sinister, and death itself. It is in that wilderness and darkness that we grow. Mrs. Ochel sadly has fallen prey to the spiritual mythos of the late 19th and early 20th century, and in her attempts to be an "evolved being" she somehow manages to sink further into a spiritual stasis that she cannot manage to see.

I would like to end this post by quoting the first chapter of the Tao Te Ching, which is a very solid piece of traditional literature. In this chapter, Lao Tzu expresses the nature of our existence in very direct terms. This chapter is so layered that if one knows how to read it, it tells a much much fuller story.

             I.
The Tao that can be spoken of
Is not the Everlasting Tao
The name that can be named
Is not the Everlasting name
The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth
The named is the mother of ten thousand things
Therefore, ever desireless
One can observe the hidden mystery;
Ever desiring
One can observe the manifestations.
These two issue from the same origin,
Though named differently.
Both are called the dark.
Dark and even darker,
The door to all hidden mysteries.

Angel Of Life, Death, And The Pleroma

2011-11-30T22:43:00.000-08:00

There are few memories that haunt me as much as the final days I spent with my Mom in hospice in October. In the weeks leading up to her death her fear of leaving this world had vanished. While her mind was yet clear and her body still enduring, a feeling of joy had emanated from her that was almost shocking to all that were in her presence. During those days I assumed that her death would ultimately be graceful, like merely falling asleep. I figured that someone so full of joy was under some type of divine protection. Admittedly I was wrong, and even though I had seen death before that time, it had not been fully or realistically actualized in my mind.

The things I am about to write in this post are not due to morbid introspection or a fixation on death. I am writing them because from the very beginning, putting these things to paper has been a process of catharsis for me. I have lived my entire life with many demons that haunt me to this day. Some have loosened their grip, some have left me, and some remain. I do not seek to promote the illusion that I am right where everyone else is wrong. I do, however, seek to promote the importance for uniqueness, self-exploration, and freedom of thought. To me that is what being human is about. I patently despise the left, right, liberalism and conservatism because in order to subscribe to these ideas one must at least partially be subjugated by them. This blog is the manifestation of me "working things out" mainly my own demons and their grip on me. To me that is the summum bonum of life, a reconciliation, a separation of the wheat from the chaff. Death like the encounter phenomenon has been something that is both beautiful and terrifying.

In a sense, reflecting on death tends to loosen its grip on people, especially for me a person that once cowered before the very thought of it. It has been said in various places and at different times that contemplating ones own mortality is one of the most rewarding and beneficial inner practices there is. I couldn't agree more. For quite some time I have linked the high-strangeness/encounter phenomenon with death and consider it one of the trials of a long journey. In fact, there is little doubt in my mind that the beings I have encountered are posthuman and have gone beyond death, some toward the ascendant and others toward the descendant which is why they often appear terrifying to us. Looking at them is like looking at your own death. It is by no means an easy thing.

In the days leading up to her death, my Mom slowly began to succumb, mind and body to death. Her body was so fragile that when I went to kiss her forehead, rub her hands, or hug her, it felt as if she had become a skeleton with a thin covering of skin. Her breathing was so labored that I held her hand wondering which one would be her last. Every time she inhaled a wheeze and with every exhale a moan. Every day I came to see her it got worse until one day her earthly presence fell over the edge of a cliff. The joy she had only days and weeks previously had vanished and her life consisted of heavy doses of morphine to ease her physical pain. For the body to be consumed by cancerous tumors, to waste away via starvation, and to lose her mind in a place that nightmares are made of was not easy to watch.

I can only say that the pain related to terminal cancer is unimaginable to me or to anyone that has not been through it. Shortly before those final days, when she knew what was coming, she gave me a warning that no matter what happened to her, that everything would be all right. But when death has arrived and is taking someone away, those warnings tend to mean very little.

On one of my last days in the hospice center, as I was approaching the door to her room (about ten feet away) I could hear here in there, very desperate. "Oh please come in" Even with music playing in her room, and the patio door open to the garden (an old western practice so the spirit can leave the room) she somehow heard me approaching her room. As I entered the room her thin arms were waving in the air, "Oh God, Danny, I need to get straight!" I didn't entirely understand what she meant at first. Her voice was very hoarse and often times she wasn't making sense. She was laying flat in a hospital bed and attempting to align her body with a picture on the wall. She couldn't explain why she wanted to be aligned with this picture, but I intuitively understood this was what she wanted. Her face was emaciated because she hadn't eaten in weeks. I noticed that she looked around in every direction, very panicked like she had forgotten who she was. It was as if she was coming into physical existence by the moment only to realize that she was dying. I saw momentary glimpses of fear in her eyes that honestly frightened me and made me feel helpless in their presence. At this point in the process of death, I believe that my Mom was mostly not present, at least not in full capacity. Whatever fear was possessing her during those final hours, it seemed to largely be a reflex outside of her consciousness. A friend of mine at the funeral who lost both parents to cancer said, "you have to remember that those final moments are not who she was." As simple as that sounds, it was very comforting.

Seeing all of this was agonizing for me. Having watched her fight cancer for seven long years and being so joyous only days earlier, it dawned on me for the first time that everything that was happening during those final days was neither fair nor just. In fact, there was something profoundly wrong about all of it. And even though I understood that this was the cost of life, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by a feeling that she had been cheated, a woman that selflessly raised three boys and gave her life to everyone else but herself. But again, I realized, this is what life is. Even death, no matter how brutal or unfair, is a part of our personal reconciliation.

During the days after her death as I lost myself in my usual studying and projects, I kept running into the writings and references of Valentinus, the second century Gnostic. Now when I habitually run into these types of patterns, names or numbers, I always take them very seriously and will investigate where such currents lead. I eventually came across this article, which only reinforced my already growing understanding that each human being is very much incomplete. If you are able, please take the time to read this article. Not only are we incomplete, but the very world that we live in is also incomplete. The simple observation that we know nothing from the moment we are born and only slightly more before we die is proof that some part of us has been missing from the moment we were born into this world.

Let me state for the record that while I am not a big fan of the Christian Gnostics (or Gnostic teachings that are life or world denying), but when it comes to Valentinus, one of the earliest Christian Gnostics I do make an exception. Mainly because I have some doubt as to whether he should even be considered a Gnostic as we understand that term today. I say this because Valentinus understood myth. More importantly he understood that myth was hiding certain traditional truths. Valentinus almost certainly didn't have a literal belief when it came to the story of creation he laid out, but he understood traditional metaphysical concepts which he disguised in his mythos. By explaining it through myth, he stood a far better chance of spreading the word than Plotinus (whose concepts are often very technical) would have. The truth is that most people don't like to read boring metaphysical texts and myth is a better way to explain these concepts in a much more meaningful way.

In some of this early Christian literature this world is often viewed as a piece that has become separated from the whole or Pleroma. Since it is missing its divine counterpart, it abides in a highly imperfect state whose tendency is toward decay and death. The reason for this separation is where a great deal of the mythos arises and there are many, many different modes of detailing why this separation took place. Presently time doesn't permit to get into this because it is highly complex and I haven't developed any solid answers on it yet myself. I will only say that unlike the life and world-denying Gnostics, I do not believe this separation was an accident, nor do I take the stories of Sophia literally. My own understanding is that this separation was an absolute necessity because the nature of this Pleroma is to develop within itself all possibilities including possibilities that include death and limitation.

All of this ultimately boils down to what I believe is a very old tradition, likely much older than the Zoroastrian tradition. I am speaking of course of the Seraph or Daimon who is the "missing part" of us, the part that we must integrate either while we are living or during the post-mortem states immediately after death. I believe, at least to some extent that the story of the separation of Eve from Adam is a dim mythological representation of this separation between the individual human and its Archetypal self, which we are essentially attempting to unite with thereby allowing us to return to the Pleroma as something greater than we previously were. Of course this is very speculative on my part, I am working through a lot of this. During my own NDE at 14, having come into direct contact with this being for the first time, I can say that there is one thing that is not speculative at all--human beings are a bi-unity and there are two lives inhabiting one personhood. The division between them is our unknowing.

Returning now to Valentinus, he was of course labeled a heretic by the pimps and whores of Rome. And even in our present times he is utterly negated by the mainstream church. It is important to keep in mind that in the Valentinan system the hatred of matter and human life is absent. The message is remarkably life-affirming. Not only that, but the Valentinians had no contention with any of the NT gospels or Pauline Epistles, which are without a doubt the earliest Christian documents in existence. The Valentinians considered them (the ones they possessed) as authoritative. Many followers of Valentinus were married and had families. Furthermore, there was the teaching among the Valentinians that they were to feed the poor, and in their earthly life to imitate Christ who was the centerpiece of their faith. Sadly, like all good things that come into this world, they were ruthlessly suppressed and eventually died out sometime near the sixth century AD. What replaced them was the "Orthodox" church that from the time of Justin Martyr to this very day has been utterly corrupt lacking completely that divine dimension. This is likely why the modern Christian orthodoxy, especially pedophile Rome is being exposed for the abomination it truly is.

This return to the Pleroma is a return to the primordial state, which I have sometimes termed "Celestial Earth" here on Luminosity. It requires nothing less than the union of the physical human being with the Seraph of its being. I think that through years of religious brainwashing, social engineering, and exposure to pop-culture has caused a re-wiring of the human mind to take place. In many cases the very yearning toward self-exploration and confrontation with the mystique has died. For this reason there seems to be many half-hearted and even confused attempts to reach greater plateaus.

The Harlequin

2011-11-27T17:25:00.000-08:00

It looks like Mysterious Universe recently covered my early Harlequin encounters as a child. If memory serves, they may have also covered another story from this blog some time last year?

You can find it here.

I haven't read all of this yet, but I think a caveat is in order. I first told Jason Offutt about my ongoing experiences at a point when they were reaching a terrible and even frightening crescendo. Since 2009 my understanding of these events has largely changed. So however this article plays out, please keep that in mind.

Also I have re-opened comments on this blog so I can once again receive your comments, hate mail, magical threats, or whatever else floats your boat.

Distilling Personal Experience And Communication

2011-11-26T08:26:00.000-08:00

The main purpose of this blog is to record the encounter phenomenon and to make a solid attempt at understanding it. In the process my understanding of things has changed. It is not that I am naturally indecisive, only that enduring this type of strangeness has the tendency to cause a transformation in a person, either toward a broader understanding of things, or toward insanity.

The further in I get, the more I begin to understand that the encounter phenomenon is life. It is the layer behind physical manifestation. Whether or not we are a witness to it likely depends on many factors. Partially I believe that most people involved in the encounter phenomenon have RH negative blood, which makes them more sensitive to this subtle substratum of life. I suspect this has to do with a "familial" relationship certain human beings have with those and the ascendant side of existence. Also I believe that social and cultural conditioning tend to make the experience more prominent in some peoples lives, especially if the person doing the experiencing has a creative nature. There is some sort of resonance between this creative nature and these subtle substratum responsible for strange events.

I do not believe that the encounter experience is what it pretends to be. In fact, I am very much convinced that it is something else entirely. One of the first approaches into this domain is coming up with the idea that maybe the experience is alien life from another planet. This is a mundane and outward approach, but every opinion furnishes enough proof to convince people of its validity. I'm not saying this isn't a possibility, only that in my own experience, the phenomenon is too strange to be explained away so simply. When I first began to look into my own experiences my thought (because I was big on Jung back then) was that these experiences were actually bleed overs from the human unconscious or dreaming mind. For me it has always been a metaphenomenon in the sense that it has included all sorts of strangeness from ghosts to ufos.  These are all linked. I still believe this idea of bleed overs has some validity to it at least in some cases. However, I am not entirely in agreement with Jung and so many others as to exactly what the human unconscious actually is.

For me, the unconscious is not some partitioned or darkened aspect of the individual human mind, it is the non-local world or celestial earth, which the human being only has a tiny piece of and regular people experience partially when they are dreaming.  This non-local world is a place where matter and imagination are not separated at all, where the individual existence takes part in a more expanded personhood that is not limited spatially or by time. This expanded personhood, I believe, is able to communicate fully with its own past (us) and if we were to see it in its fullness would appear to us as a God.

This is the world into which all human beings are destined to go if they can crystallize, individuate, and endure the inherent tendency within themselves to disassociate toward equilibrium or oneness. I recently came across the writings of Anthony Peake (The Daemon, Is There Life After Death) who wrote several books on NDEs. One idea that Tony has is that some of us are re-living our lives over again in a kind of playback that he terms "Bohmian Imax". This playback of our lives is the reason for De Ja Vu and other precognitive events. We experience them because we have lived this same life before and this accounts for the strange familiarity we have during these events. Before I read Tony's books (recently) I explained this idea partially in my Approaching The Posthuman Self post back in March. Afterwards, in later posts, I found that my own life often felt like a recording with moments where my future self/seraph, (which I described as coming from the potential/celestial earth/future) would intercede and make certain changes in my earthly existence. Even today I do wonder if even the negative experiences may be a necessary evil. This idea also accounts for the strange intuitive understanding I wrote in another post that the world may have ended in 1994 and that all of us are factually living in a faux-reality, Peaks's "Bohmian Imax". This is of course a huge stretch that I understand borders on insanity.

I think that most of what Tony writes is likely true. One has to wonder if this playback of our life, possibly many times over, is a way for us to avoid paying the piper for a time. It may be a gray area that allows us more time to undergo that crystallization or individuation before we are able to take our place in this celestial earth and continue to "evolve" outside of linear timelines. My only point of disagreement with this idea is that I do not believe this occurs with all people. I say this based solely on my encounters with entities that were clearly negative, deranged, deformed, and unimaginably evil. After seeing what I have seen, images of rape, torture, and perversions that defy the mind on the part of these dark beings, I cannot believe that there is no world of the dead that are in such a dark state that only their most primal instincts survive. In fact, I even believe, at least to some extent, that these are the entities that are behind the very,very rare human mutilations.

Now someone might say that I am communicating with "alien" intelligences and that this is no different from channeling. But there is a difference. It is important to note that I don't surrender myself to entities or let them speak through me. In fact the beings that I believe inhabit this celestial earth, cannot even be called entities because the level of their "individuality" is cosmic and so far beyond the human intellect that words and ideas cannot communicate their vastness. So when I write that I am in communication with beings that defy my present understanding, I mean to say that through deep self-exploration and the uncovering of these non-local realities within myself, I have uncovered a world that I can to a limited extent communicate with. These communications never demand that I surrender my consciousness to beings that talk about earth changes and the like. These beings, contrary to most accounts, seem to view everything that goes down in this world, dark and light, as a part of necessity.   They have identified themselves to me on numerous occasions as "Hyperboreans, Aryans, Seraphim, and many, many others." The overall message, however, is that they are on the ascendant side of existence. They seem to use classical terms that mythologically express this. I have captured glimpses of them as varying frequencies of pulsating light, beings with milk white skin and enormous blue eyes, and also as an intuitive voice. To be as straight-forward as I can be, I see no end in their development. There seem to be no limitations there at all and one can scarcely imagine penetrating even a single inch into their domain.

For me, having come this far, it must be said that communicating "what is to come" into language is difficult. Let me state first and foremost that I have as of yet heard of no others that have described this experience on the terms that I have. This doesn't concern me in the very least or make me question any of my experiences because they don't match the experiences of others. Furthermore, I think that by exploring the phenomenon and confronting it, we can often punch through the ambiguity and uncover things that have remained undiscovered.

The Theomorphs

2011-11-23T19:03:00.001-08:00

My Montauk posts by and large seem to get the attention of those I would rather not have read this blog. For the most part, the most shady hits I will get are from Raytheon among others. They also tend to show up anytime I discuss metaphysical unity as a mode through which reality can be dissolved. I know these defense contractors because I work with them as a part of my employment. There is nothing cloak and dagger involved in this relationship, it is very much mundane. I strongly suspect that there are others out there that may also understand this relationship between "oneness" "inertia" and the gradual dissolution of the present order of things.

In the past I have attempted to explain that I do NOT believe in the various stories and myths surrounding Montauk or the Philadelphia Experiment. I believe that most of these myths exist as a form of disinformation. The more I began to investigate the more I found Scientology people have some involvement in the development of these myths.  When (and if) more information becomes available, I will post more about these odd findings. For the most part, there is something about Montauk that I don't entirely understand. For all intents and purposes it feels as if the right kind of person shows up, strange experiences will occur.   I think that very few people recognize the sacrality of the land. I have every intention of returning there next summer for a much longer visit, most likely in June.

I have intentionally left out certain pieces of that story, because they are mind-bogglingly strange, mainly the exchange of dialogue that took place there as well as my brief stay in Colorado. Upon returning home, I entered into two months of almost constant dialogue with something that was so utterly strange that defining it is very tricky. As I have stated elsewhere, in my experience these higher forms of life do not communicate via human language. What communication does take place is either intuitive or synchronistic.  I am not one to promote synchronicity as the summum bonum of the spiritual quest. However, I believe it is of extreme value.

Without getting into details about the synchronicity I will explain this group I encountered in Montauk as "Theomorphs" in the sense that they emanated a superior presence and communicated in such a multi-layered way that I am still attempting to put these ideas together. The ideas that came to me during my stay there are exceptionally difficult to put into a coherent package, but consist of ideas I was already arriving at before I got there, but also ideas that I had also never considered.

After leaving Montauk it seemed to me that the nature of my experiences changed entirely.   Rather than having these blood curdling experiences of people that seemed deformed and deranged, there was this sense that a new group, which I think presented themselves in a post I did called "Approaching The Posthuman Self" appeared almost spontaneously. This new group doesn't seem to exist in time or space, but somehow in a realm that seems to be the source of three-dimensional space. This fact, I believe, is what makes it incredibly difficult to understand them. From my first introduction to these "posthumans" in March, I have been confronted by these darker/vampiric "people" but they have not left the impression they did in the past. More often than not, these negative experiences are very brief and have stopped almost completely. Since March, the time of my initial encounter with this new group, my health has greatly improved and my mind has been more capable of understanding multi-layered and complex ideas, which seem to be the norm with these Theomorph/Posthuman beings. There is a blessing and a curse that goes along with this as well. Communicating it to other people has proven nearly impossible.

I suspect that the "people" in Montauk where the same people from my March post.   When I asked them about matters of position such as "being in Montauk" they seemed amused by my need to place them spatially. They simply responded, "Montauk is in us." So attempting to describe them with geometric ideas is very difficult. It must be kept in mind that anything I write in regard to statements from them are not actual verbal statements, but rather the manner in which I distilled or translated what I was being told intuitively. I understand this is profoundly difficult to understand. A lot of what I write seems very disjointed because there is almost no coherent way to describe these types of things or the ideas being promoted. There is a lot that is lost in translation.

Now when this experience took place in Montauk it seemed to be occurring underneath reality. While I was aware of the outside world, I seemed to have a new organ of sight which allowed multiple realities to manifest simultaneously. Parts of this new vision seemed to impinge on my physical vision to the point I was able to see objects in my peripheral view that weren't normally present. The dialogue that took place during this event was about the process of being human and what it ultimately leads to. They seemed to understand that these were the questions that were the most important to me. I wanted to understand the strangeness of my childhood and the many strange sensations I have experienced throughout my life. I wasn't there for any earth shattering event, in the end it all boiled down to a revelatory or even visionary event.

The idea being promoted to me even today is that we are being "personalized".  We are born into this world as an aggregate of impersonal currents that meet within a human being. When we take up the form of a human being, these impersonal currents "personalize" within us as they are held together for a time. Because we live in a physical world and within a linear timeline, this process of personalization creates an individual that is sentient, self-conscious, and alive.  In a sense being a full-grown human is like being a baby or even being a caterpillar housed within a cocoon. Death is like waking up to a more panoramic view of things.

Upon death the human individuality either transcends the linear timeline that binds the physical world, or it doesn't. If it doesn't, the human individuality disassociates and becomes once again impersonal (oneness) where its memories may be picked up by "pre-human" beings who are first beginning to enter the linear timeline of physical existence (ie. recently conceived physical human beings). This process explains atavisms, reincarnation (only memories reincarnate, not whole people) among many others. It is only by enduring onslaughts of impersonal currents whose tendency is to dissolve via equilibrium, that an individual is truly forged beyond this world. The key is endurance. Life creates a separate being within a human being. This seed of a new life begins only when a person begins the process of individuation. The tainted teaching of Alchemy's "Homunculus" is most likely detailing a far older process that existed in the West. The creation of a spontaneous and eternal being that is fixed above time that emerges in the post-mortem phase of life.

These posthuman beings that have transcended physical timelines no longer possess human bodies, but seem to have a more "cosmic" or extended personhood. This cosmic personhood seems to allow them to live beyond time and still within it to the point they are able to communicate with their own past. We that are living in the present day are their past.

Because we are still babies in a manner of speaking, our concept of space and time is somewhat immature. Beyond linear timelines there isn't space, there is only "space-less space" which is likely similar to the concept of nonlocality. Our only real way of understanding this would be our dreams. While dreams seem to be taking place within a physical space, they aren't really taking place anywhere that we can measure or map. As long as a thing is conditioned by dimensions, it remains corruptible, imperfect, and prone to change that eventually leads to death. It is very clear that there are forms of life that do not rely upon this type of conditioned existence to exist.

The physical domain exists is an appearance only. It is not partitioned from this nonlocal space-less space even though it seems a world apart. The physical world is an arbitrary reality that exists to create these fixed personalized beings out of impersonal subtle currents. While it appears that we are housed and infused into a physical matrix, that is not the reality at all. The world exists in the luminous space of the human soul or mind. Or to use classical terms, the body exists within the soul and not the other way around.

The Theomorph is a completed being in the sense that its life is spontaneous within itself. Being brought into their presence one immediately gets the sense that they are dealing with the Shepherds of creatioin. They appear at least on some level to have a vested interest in the things going on here. While I have experienced unimaginable love and compassion from them I have also taken careful note that they understand the dark as well, and there are "events" that they are clearly behind that would likely not agree with the proclivities or dispositions of many people today.

All words and ideas ultimately fail us when we are confronted by life outside of extension. The human mind is simply not accustomed to it. I found that the more I attempted to get answers from these beings the more they were amused by me. In one instance they showed me my daughter Grace when she first stood up (many months early) and began to walk. I was so shocked to see her do that because it came out of nowhere. In essence, they were showing me an event out of my own life to convey their amusement to me. There was nothing mocking about this at all, in fact it was very good humored.

During these dialogues I have asked several times, "who is behind the currents being put into human containers?" The response, which I don't entirely understand was, "Your ancestors." In other words, there seems to be the concept of family that continues even after death. This would explain the sense that I am sometimes dealing with people that are related to me. In my post, "The Woman In Room 18" a tribute to my Mom, one of the first lines I wrote was that my Mom "has been gathered to her people". This verse came to mind spontaneously, but does comes from the bible.

The whole purpose of being human, it would appear, is to forge an identity. Ambiguity like envy compromises people making them either want to be someone else, or want to be neutral which is an impossibility in the physical domain. I'm not saying that a person should simply come to a conclusion for the hell of it. I am saying that self-exploration and confrontation are necessary to form an individuality above time. It is therefore important to choose everything wisely. Anything that hides itself within ambiguity is hiding itself there for a reason. My belief (yes, I have those) is that the beings behind the grays and many others are the human dead. And to me it is highly likely that these are human dead that don't exist above time and are in fact decaying to some extent. While they may have the capacity to be good, their very life depends on a vampiric relationship to living people. This relationship depends not only on mystique, but to an extent sacrificing oneself to an obsession with the phenomenon.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Abduction Delusion, Oneness, And The Process

2011-11-19T15:32:00.000-08:00

Let me state for the record and for the sake of clarification that I do not deny that reality in its many facets is an interconnected and infinite "NONENESS" that appears to those that have not penetrated parts of this enormous mystery, as a "oneness". Being a beautiful nothing at heart, reality is free to be everything and to give credence to every idea no matter how ridiculous. Every idea will ultimately furnish some proof for its validity. This is simply how reality works and the reason people are so willing to believe different and even contradictory things. In the end, any idea we can conceive and communicate via language and ideas will suffer a major drawback. Ideas can never fully express the divine without secularizing it to some extent. Modern religion has practically destroyed the sacred because it has spent millennium standardizing and dogmatizing things. Standardization, secularization, uniformity, and inertia are just different words for oneness. These 4 words exist in far more than just the domain of spiritual ideas, they exist in economics, politics, and many other ordinary areas. Modern spirituality alone is NOT the only current or outlet of metaphysical dissolution. There are many unassuming areas where this process is also taking place.

The divine expresses its unhindered freedom in a great going forth that causes all forms, all people, all life, worlds, and ideas to be made manifest or actual. Whatever is not made manifest, like a ten-legged dog, will only exist in a potential state. Man (male and female alike) is the meeting place of the potential and the actual. He exists in the center most point between them. The human individuality is an expression of these two principles in various percentages. The physical individual, his name and form, is the actualized manifestation of personhood. His potential state is that of the Seraph, which is also his imagination. In other words, the inner (potential) is a reflection of the outer (actual). Likewise we can say that the vast spaces of the physical universe are the physical manifestation or reflection of the human imagination, which is equally vast.

The movement of life is always from the potential to the actual. From non-manifestation to manifestation. It is impossible for the process to go in reverse unless death is behind it. Whatever enters into the perception of the human individual has existed first within his Seraph or Imagination (potentia) and is then actualized (manifested) into consensus reality.

My seeming war against oneness, new age, and gnosticism is founded upon the idea that the world has now entered its terminal phase. This phase has accelerated exponentially over the last ten years. Mechanically speaking what has happened is that the transference of information between the potential state and the actual has begun to slow down. This has created not a more divine individual but a more mechanical one. This has caused humanity at large to become immersed in historicity, secularisation, and uniformity. The walls between things, which actually define form and individuality are dying away because the world is dying. This same death is occurring in the human psyche via the acceptance of the idea that we must put an end to all dividing factors between philosophies, religions, ideas, nations, races, and classes. The problem is that the people promoting this agenda will never stop. Having broken down the walls of creation, they seek to continue tearing down the walls until there is nothing left but a lifeless, meaningless lump where all growth, brought about by adversity and differentiation is brought to an end.

The utopia they hope emerges from the chaos will inevitably fail. The main problem will be the simple fact that every secular idea must have a sacred counterpart to uphold it. Much in the same way the individual human is upheld by its Seraph or divine counterpart. What happens when that sacred ideal is found to have no true substantiality or backing because it has no communion with the divine?

                                                                  EVOLA

The answer is very simple. Without foundation anything that is erected will ultimately fall. In the case of consensus reality, I strongly suspect it may fall into mula-prakriti or primordial substance, a kind of dormant material oneness having no differentiation whatsoever.  This process has already begun to occur I believe. I will touch on this further in later posts.

Now at this point I need to express how I feel the abduction and alien mythos plays into this process of inertia and oneness. In a manner of speaking the entire fiasco is a clouded transmission of the potential state (and the subtle realities beneath it) into the human psyche.   In other words, it is a very weak broadcast from the Seraph to the human individual. It manifests the way it does because the human individuality is so bogged down with emotional and spiritual baggage that the everything gets lost in translation when we attempt to make sense of it all.

Now I need to clarify my own experiences here. Before 2004, I had almost no interest in this phenomenon. In fact, before that time I had always believed my strange experiences, including the Harlequin figure to be bleed-overs from my imagination or dreaming mind onto my waking consciousness.  To a large degree, I was probably right. I am quite convinced that these bleed-overs can affect more than just the person whose imagination it belongs to. I say this based upon many years as a ritual magician and occultist engaged in dealing with these many layers of self. However, when these experiences became potent enough for my wife to have very intense encounters of her own, her mind focused in on alien abductions because she wasn't familiar with my work as it remained largely secretive. After she had me read several books on the phenomenon, mostly by Strieber, I admit to finding its mystique very appealing. Strieber has a way of pulling people in to this phenomenon and even wanting to make them a part of it. Before that time I had only read Communion in the late 1980s after my grandfather, a strange character in his own right, practically forced me to read it.

For some years my mind was intensely focused on this phenomenon. When I started making contacts with people claiming to be experiencers, it soon dawned on me that something was profoundly wrong. I found over time that many people making these claims were in fact confabulating, lying, or were genuinely experiencing something strange related to the confused transfer of current between the imagination and the human psyche. I simply wasn't the kind of person to believe what these people told me at face value, especially after I had caught them lying on numerous occasions and even blaming their lies on the phenomenon itself. I understand that the encounter phenomenon is strange, but I simply will not allow myself to be tricked by people that are in dire need of psychological help. I'm sorry to say, but not everyone with a fantastic tale is being honest about the matter.

For me, the majority of my childhood experiences were related to what I can only term apocalyptic visions and encounters with very strange people. Some of these experiences certainly had that dreamlike/alien quality, but the whole nuts and bolts theory never came to my mind. Everything about these experiences in my childhood came off in a very religious manner. What was affecting me was very different from bug-eyed aliens peeking into my room at night.  For me these experiences were of me floating down the street in the middle of the night, seeing nuclear bombs exploding in my neighborhood, encountering strange people in the alley behind my house who would tell me strange things that I still remember, witnessing an enormous object blocking out the sun and seeing people running through the streets going crazy at the sight of this. For whatever reason these experiences, as strange as they were molded my thinking and the lens that I view this world through.

For me the passage of life isn't about attaining knowledge. It is about revelation and strength of character. This strength of character is not about being an elitist scoundrel, it is about attaining to the uniqueness that is required of you. Furthermore, the real problem as I see it, resides in the reality that we are not submissive as actualized beings to the divine counterpart in us. In a word, people are rebellious and in their rebellion think they are saving the world. The issue is that in this rebellion they have actually begun to create a vast chasm between themselves and their Seraph therby cutting themselves off from any foundational influence. This strained relationship has brought about every delusion and mental illness known. And the simple reality is that never before have these illnesses been as widespread as they are today.

T:.O:.L:.M:.A:.

2011-11-16T21:20:00.000-08:00

As some of my readers are aware, I don't trust anyone or anything connected to the Esalen cult or institute. I believe it is involved in both social engineering and is leading the call of the oneness teaching, which I find both abhorrent and poorly thought out, a refuge for spiritual suckers and "hip" wannabe occultists that couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag, spiritually speaking. Nearly every notable name in modern day spiritual thought has some connection to Esalen, and for me this is very telling considering what the core of nearly all of their teaching is.

Esalen is not just about spirituality, it has its hands in just about everything including the abduction mythos, among others. The reality is that Esalen prides itself on not having any standard way of thinking or charismatic cult leadership. Certainly that is true, but when you get to the heart of the matter, it is not really about teaching a specific doctrine at all, it is about manipulating the ways that people think and act. It is about rendering the human spirit docile and receptive--open to any type of subtle suggestion it receives from the internet or any other entertainment medium. With any subtle and skillful form of manipulation there are always phases. The initial phases of manipulation are by far the most non-threatening, non-confrontational, and also the most appealing.

In 2007 I began to study several well-known personalities in the field of abduction and ufology. Little by little I began to uncover just how potent the power of suggestion truly was. In reading their works I found several contradictions that I believe were due to far more than just bad editing. I had read articles that did a splendid job of pointing out these contradictions and how these contradictions could only mean the writer was not being honest. Even though these pieces were read by many, people continued believing the lies because they were just too appealing. The power of the mystique these writers and personalities put forth was simply too great to turn their backs on. During this time I also began to talk to several people claiming to be abductees and contactees. To be clear, I do not consider myself to be either of these. One thing that I found in these exchanges were how influenced these people had been by some of the well-known sacred cows.

On more than one occasion some of my contacts played back to me abduction stories and lines directly from specific books I had previously read. This happened again not more than a couple weeks ago when a woman wrote to me about an encounter with an insectoid being. I kept going over the email until I realized several days later that it was almost word for word copied out of Budd Hopkins book, "Sight Unseen" which I have on my shelf. Now I am willing to believe that patterns exist in this phenomenon, but there comes a point when I have to call a spade a spade. I don't believe this is simply a matter of confabulation as much as it is a fib or a delusion created in order to partake of a very potent mystique. A mystique that is actually a new (though highly flawed) incarnation of certain initiatic currents.

My real problem is that "spirituality" has become just another way to indoctrinate people into a leftist social justice weltanschuuang. For me that is just as appalling as the right-wing/religious worldview which exudes arrogance, moral superiority, and dogma as the means to attain divinity. In the end, neither side can really offer valid growth or maturity. They exist solely as an outlet for the lefts hostility to the right, and likewise the rights hostility to the left.

It's all one big claptrap that people have fallen into that uses various religious and spiritual forms to conceal personal hostility toward different groups of people. You cannot tell me that the dominionists and christian reconstructionists are concerned about equal rights for muslims or gay people. You also cannot tell me that Esalen is concerned about conducting seminars devoted to promoting traditional thinking or the writings of authors like George Macdonald, C.S. Lewis, Rene Guenon, Julius Evola, Ananda Coomaraswamy or the writers of the New Testament for that matter. For me reading and watching these modern authorities and personalities is like watching little children playing house and believing they are actually adults. What these people don't seem to understand is that they haven't even begun to scratch the surface of what these initiatic currents are ultimately about. Procul, O Procul Este Profani! In a word, they are standing outside the gates of the Temple and think they are standing upon holy ground.

I am simply not convinced any longer. The Gnostics claim that this world is the creation of a rotten demiurge and we should transcend it, but they can't even manage to get themselves out of the left-right, conservative-liberal dichotomy. I am not convinced of anything that large numbers of people flock to mainly because I find that the more outward (and outward seeking) people become, the more they sacrifice their internal nature. It is in this internal nature that the answers reside, and for each person, ultimately, that answer will be slightly different. However, that doesn't mean that the traditional structures of things don't exist. The outward things are a reflection of what is happening collectively to the inward nature of humanity. Sick mind-Sick world. Again what we are seeing in the world is not a positive transformation. If that were the case, things would be far better than they are. What the spiritually minded folks of today seem to forget about is the fact that they are a overwhelmingly small minority. Outside the internet, nobody cares. The world is either ramping up for a catastrophe like WWIII or something stranger and potentially worse like metaphysical dissolution. The third world is a giant heap of misery and all the positive thinking in the world cannot change it. Either humanity figures this mess out, or a correction comes to decide the matter for them. This is how it has always worked.

The present order of things is immensely unhealthy because its inward nature has been almost completely destroyed by a move toward oneness, which is actually and logically the metaphysical dissolution of human individuality. Without that individuality there can be no meaning or purpose, in fact, I wonder if there can even be a universe. Only in an age as backwards as this one can people actually believe that things are improving and people are spiritually evolving toward some pie in the sky future. The problem is that because of the internet and entertainment at the fingertips, we are largely cut off from the harsh realities of our times. People have written me time and again, or stopped reading because I point these things out. Docility does not imply a movement toward divinity, it means you have been subjugated. The Gnostics of today have little to nothing in common with their predecessors who actually possessed far more of the arcanum than they presently do.

Luminosity is a dynamic work in progress. I pride myself, at least to some extent, by not being set in my ways. I'm still in the process of working things out and reconciling myself to truth. That doesn't mean that I have 86'd common sense as so many people have done, particularly those in the ufo/abduction field and those that are setting themselves up as centerpieces of the new cults of personality. For me the traditional structures are incredibly important. They are the centerpiece. The ancient mind of early Western Civilization has much to offer yet people scoff at this idea without really investigating it any further. I recently advised someone to read a book by Iamblichus. The person responded by asking me, "Does he have a website?"

To some extent I think that people have been thrown since this blog began and my references to the personal Seraph or Daimon, which is factually a very old and traditional teaching. This bi-unity nature of the human being is something that is absolutely undeniable. In fact, even the Gnostics were keen on this idea because they knew it had merit. It is mentioned numerous times although in a somewhat veiled manner in the sayings of the Gnostic Christ particularly in the Gospel of Thomas.

Luminosity, as I have written in a deleted post, is a point of contact between me and my own Archetypal self. In writing these posts, I begin to uncover even more this hidden observer within me. I also learn how it is the very epitome of foundation and tradition. This is of course leading to major breakthroughs that I will detail soon. More than anything I have found that the further out of contact we are with the totality of ourselves, the more incomplete and internally troubled we actually are. For this reason alone, I implore people to think for themselves and stop following these spiritual fads that in the end serve nobody but the swollen egos behind them.

UFOs, The Logos, And The "Higher Self"

2011-11-13T06:45:00.000-08:00

I am largely on technology detox. Generally speaking I only come on the internet to write posts, check blogs, and get news. I briefly flirted with the idea of opening up a facebook account for this blog, but realized I just couldn't do it. I am not a facebook type of guy. For the most part, I have once again taken up reading books and viciously attacking my own ideas. That's my favorite hobby these days aside from playing with my kids. It is the only way that I am able to learn. With that being said, I need to kind of clarify what I am writing and explain that what I am promoting on here shouldn't be merely accepted but investigated by anyone interested. Furthermore, I need to draw a line in the sand between what I am writing and what many popular books and personalities preach about the ideas of "higher self", which is very much the opposite of what I am writing.

I don't agree with everything Henry Corbin has written, especially his linking the divine Paraclete written about in the book of John to the prophet Muhammad who came much later. I don't accept his religious ideas, but I do accept his understanding of the bi-unity of man, the imagination, and the idea of the Celestial Earth. Encountering his ideas by chance as I did seemed to open up a strange door. While I have always believed in the Neoplatonic idea of the personal Daimon (which is incredibly old) I had never fully actualized it until earlier this year. During previous years I was thoroughly disgusted by the idea of "higher self" because most of the writers promoting it had the wrong idea entirely. The picture they painted was one of a higher intellectual dimension of the human individuality rather than a concrete being or archetype that was in fact the source of the physical human being and illuminated as it were, by the Logos. The new age connotation associated with the "higher self" idea was for me sickening. It still is. When I think of ideas like "higher self" and communicating with your "higher self" I think of videos like this which are frankly difficult to watch:

I have to admit that seeing things like this make my skin crawl. It isn't just the dorky color changing crystals he has, but his mannerisms and his message as well. The message, like all other messages from people like this, is that humanity is about to join a galactic alliance of some kind and that we have to first evolve in order to reach it. One thing to notice in videos like this is they will always say things like, "in what you call time" as if the concept of linear time is something a superior alien mind cannot process. As time goes on these channeled messages have pushed the dates out further beyond 2012 giving linear time frames even when the intelligences behind these messages confess to not understanding time. It's contradictory. This is most likely due to the fact that most of these galactic federation type channelers are plainly aware of the failed prophecies of their predecessors.  So the reason to do this is simple. He's following the cover-your-ass rule. His livelihood ultimately depends on it. As long as these predictions don't come to pass (the people channeling these space intelligences historically have a 100% failure rate) he can always concede to the idea that these wonderful and advanced space races do not understand linear time. Very clever, Bashar.   By the way, Bashar will normally charge you $70 a pop to hear his bullshit in person. $20 via skype. You can hear my bullshit for free.

This type of nonsense is what leads to people completely dismissing anything that has to do with inner worlds, transcendence, and valid human growth. It further leads, if I may be blunt, to complete insanity on the part of the believer. Now if you actually believe what this man is saying, and people pay to listen to him, you are likely on a descendant path. If a channeled entity or higher self can speak of galactic federations and other matters of linearity (all human languages being linear), there is no reason it should have any problems with time. Again, this is merely an example of the lack of logic when it comes to those behind this sort of nonsense. If this man and others are in contact with anything, they are in contact with their own human intellect and the new age ideas that are swimming freely therein. There is a reason that men like the skeptic Michael Shermer exist, they offer a kind of balance to things. Admittedly, I would much rather have Shemer over for dinner than the people promoting this sort of spiritual quackery. With Shermer at least I don't have to worry about him scaring my kids.

For me metaphysical grounding and foundation is absolutely king. Without it, people will eventually float into the new ageism, gnosticism, theosophy, and many others. They will believe in things like space men prophecies and many others. They will fall for the idea that humanity is somehow stuck in a physical matrix and must ascend to higher levels. And then in a complete reversal will say that we must also come back to earth to reincarnate numerous times in order to "get it right." Ultimately their schema makes no sense at all and their space alien contacts, regardless of what planet or galaxy they come from, always preach the same message of unity and evolution--all while the world burns. I simply find it very hard to believe that humanity is evolving when there is such a profound lack of empathy and compassion and an overwhelming message and concern for "me, me, me" in these various spiritualities and secular life in general. I hardly count that as evolution at all.

All of these ideas exist as a vast mythology that is pointing to something else entirely. For me Tradition is a grounding that is necessary. Without it, people tend to sink into their own intellect and imagination and simply begin to lose themselves. Myth to some extent becomes real rather than containing hidden meanings about the nature of the individual and its place in this world. Aliens masters from other galaxies or space brothers from Venus become literal and real instead of new incarnations of very old mythologies. Instead of the divine Logos as the mediator between man and the unfathomable depths of Godhead, people now believe that it is the "universe alone that guides them". All of this I tend to view as a bill of divorce between the individual and its Seraph, which is its sole link to states of growth and development that are not at all physical. In fact, this is why I am so weary of messages from channeled entities.  They are consistently laced with purely human ideas. A person that has actually experienced the complexity of the "Mundus Imaginalis" knows first hand that any truth that exists "there" can never be brought into the physical domain without it losing nearly everything that is sacred about it. For this reason everything the imaginal domain offers is veiled in mystique and communicated via initiatory current--not by spoken or written word. For this reason alone I tell people not to believe anything including what I write. Search for yourselves and attack your own ideas so their weaknesses are exposed.

I love the idea of the UFO. For me it is representative of a new incarnation of mystique. While I firmly believe there are entities out there, dangerous ones that use it as a cover to deceive, I also believe it represents that initiatory mystique. My first exposure to the UFO mystique really came with the Gulf Breeze sightings (which may or may not be a hoax) in the mid to late 1980s. I learned about this after seeing a televisions show about it. The photo that heads this post was one of the first pictures I saw that kind of heightened my emotions in regard to the phenomenon. During those days I remember my brother and I shining our flashlights on our bedroom ceiling at night and scaring each other by talking about how these UFOs were going to beam us up and steal us away from home. Thoughts like this emerged throughout our childhood. Sometimes it was UFOs and other times it was strange people in a van or strange homeless people riding bicycles that were chasing after us. In whatever form there was a degree of fear and strangeness involved, and that is actually what makes an initiatic current what it is meant to be. Consuming to some extent. We had never heard anything about alien abduction at the time, but the thought came naturally to us. Again, it was the birth of a new mystique, an unanswered and nagging question...Strangeness that we can never entirely answer. Strangeness that bids us to come closer and challenges us to penetrate the veil of terror that hides something even stranger.

I have personally seen UFOs on numerous occasions. Some incredibly close while in a very dreamlike state, and others in completely lucid states and in the company of others. In nearly every experience they appeared to be playing with us. There was a theatrical performance involved in it. This seems to be the case most of the time. The UFO is an extension of the imaginal domain, a link in our present age to something that cannot be entirely understood. It is the mystique of this age and it will lead to a new mystique in the endless ages of life in this world to come. Without that mystique humanity will grow stagnant.   This is why making these various mythologies and messages literal, a process of secularization of the sacred occurs which ultimately nullifies the mystique and converts it into just another dumb message.

11:11

2011-11-12T16:22:00.000-08:00

11-11-11 was for me a somewhat significant day, not that I believe those numbers have anything to do with it. For the previous two weeks leading up to the 11th I was beset with something of a personal crisis that may have lead to some of the darker aspects of the posts I have put up. During the last week of October I had a doctor appointment where I had some blood drawn. A few days later I received a call from my doctor and was told I needed to see a Hematologist at an oncology clinic near where I live due to an abnormality found in those blood tests. Considering that my mom had died only a few days before receiving this call, I was rather disturbed by this news that my doctor thought that I may have some type of cancer.

My initial appointment at this oncology clinic came on 11-1-11. Stepping into this place was very sad because most of the people there were coming for chemo treatments. One woman in particular reminded me very much of my mom even down to the style of wig she was wearing. A good percentage of them were in wheelchairs because they were too weak to walk. My wait at this clinic was interesting in that the people working there were very personable. Aside from that I found that the other patients in the waiting room would start up a conversation with me and were very kind and gracious. I think in some ways they felt sorry for me because I am this young guy they thought had cancer as well. I was very much kind to them in return having seen what that type of struggle is like.

After taking many, many samples of various sorts I was told to come back on 11-11-11 for my follow up to go over the results of the tests. However, it was not only at 11-11-11, but also at 11:15 on that day. Because of my suspicion of these numbers, I spent the next ten days in a horrible mood considering the dates meant that this was a harbinger of my own coming doom. I tend to think in extremes like this from time to time.

During this ten day period there was a strange dialogue going on in the background. On the fourth of November as I entered a very relaxed state, I heard my mom talking to me. Now I know that people find statements like that unbelievable, but I am now very much convinced that the dead never leave this world entirely but continue to have some type of connection to it and to those that they love. This conversation, as strange as it may sound, tended to confirm the idea I have been promoting on this blog, that of the bi-unity nature of the individual and its Seraph or Archetypal self.

The first thing I heard in this relaxed state was my mom telling me that she was no longer my mother, but my grandmother. Statements like this could lead a person to believe that this was more of a dream than anything. However, I clearly understood the implication of this as well as the proper context of what she was getting across.  This was like saying that she had now identified, not with her life on earth, but with her original self, which was the Archetype of her earthly life. So for her to say that she had become my "Grandmother" it was true in the sense that the woman I was communicating with was the source of my Mom's life on earth. There was no doubt that it was her personality I was intuitively picking up on, however, there was a very high degree of maturity present.

My mom in her earthly life was a very gentle and fragile person. She didn't own a lot of jewelry or have many possessions, she was very much a content and simple woman. When she spoke the message I got was, "from the place I love". What I mean by this is that the dialogue we shared was not coming "from the place I live", "from the place of my opinion" or "from the place I am standing." The impression I got was that her new state was that of Agape. She wasn't "being" or even "existing" she was loving. Her emanating that love had somehow replaced her mere "being". Attempting to translate intuitive language into English is a monumental task. It suffers some very serious drawbacks--mainly that when I attempt to write them there is always some degree of error involved.

The overall impression that I got was that even though she was happy to have been my mother, that she has gone far beyond what she was in this life. In a word, I can only say that her nature had become very much ascendant. Because this is true, a person that has recently died will after a brief period of time move beyond the cares of this world to a large extent. A good friend of mine died in June of last year and I remember feeling as though he was suffering. About a month or so later, I distinctly remember getting this communique from him intuitively, "I have made it. PREFECT." The use of the word "prefect" I felt had to do with the idea that he had struggled with certain "stragglers" but had made it to a rank above where these dark people were.  The amount of growth that people have post-mortem is frankly startling particularly if they are not being dragged down by their own inner demons. Death is the highest degree of initiation.

I was set to talk to the doctor at 11:15 that morning. When the doctor came in I was paying close attention to the look on his face. He came in looking down which concerned me to some extent. At that point my heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest.   "Well, I can't find anything wrong with you. The tumor markers were all negative. Your samples were all good." It turns out that the abnormality that I did have was minor and only off by one point. My primary care physician just wanted to be sure after learning my history.  The abnormality is most likely related to a chronic health condition I have had since I was 19. He looked at me after playing with my baby daughter who had come with us and said, "You're a relatively healthy guy. Just stay out of trouble."

Walking out of that place I felt relieved. And at the same time I thought about my mom and the fact that on many occasions she walked out of similar places with terrible news. Thinking about that was truly heart-breaking and reminded me how much I continue to miss her. This brief exchange I had with my mom when I was nearing sleep was illuminating for the simple reason that it taught me myriads about this bi-unity makeup of human individuality. Had I not understood this relationship earlier, I could have easily dismissed this "I am your grandmother now" statement as mere dream talk. But again this enigma is multi-layered and has the tendency to often veil itself.

On a wall in my house I have devoted a small space to the memory of her. While I don't dwell on death like I used to, grieving for someone you love is no walk in the park. My mom and I were very close. Before she passed I bought an urn for her that I have placed on a wall. My mom had a very strong admiration for Angels and I felt my tribute to her was fitting.

Lifting The Veil

2011-11-09T23:56:00.000-08:00

When I was a relatively new father at the tender age of 21 (1997), my two year old daughter (now 16) and I were living in a rather secluded house alongside a wildlife preservation. If you have ever seen the movie "Signs" the house and land we lived on was nearly identical. There were scenes in that movie that were very much haunting in that the similarity between the houses was almost unbelievable. I do attach some significance to this.

During that time it often felt as if her and I had been struck with the brunt of whatever strange activity was happening in the house. With whatever money I had, I bought guns, cameras, and night vision. My girlfriends brother and I would scan the fields at night from the patio with russian surplus nightvision goggles. There was this feeling that if we didn't carry out this nightly ritual we would be caught off guard while we slept. There was never any talk of aliens, demons, or dead people coming into the house at night. Yet there was this unspeakable reality that we dared not admit to one another. Something was there and no matter what we did we couldn't stop it from coming into the house at night. None of us had any interest in the phenomenon at the time. In fact, it was the last thing on our minds. It seems to me sometimes that these thoughts and ideas weren't even available to me at the time. In other words, I didn't even have the ability back then to ponder them.

We all had strange snippets of very short memories. For me it was a helicopter landing on the roof of the house in the middle of the night. I woke up early one morning to see a C130 flying at nearly tree level which caused the entire house to rumble violently. I was the only person awake at the time. When I asked if anyone had heard this fortress roll through at 6am they thought I was crazy. But it wasn't just that. During the late 1990s I was beset with awful memories. On one occassion while having a barbeque with friends and family a hot air balloon came in flying low right across our property. Nobody had really seen it approach.  Once it was directly above us there was clearly someone looking down at us from the basket, a dark shadow that seemed to be observing us closely. The feeling that came across me that afternoon was ominous. These were trigger events. They usually meant something was coming later that night. This pattern still hasn't changed very much.

During those years getting my daughter to sleep in her own room was not an easy task. I would often walk passed her room at night on my way to bed only to find her taking these short breaths and looking quickly to the left and right with her blanket up to her eyeballs. She was absolutely terrified. My first real inkling that I was dealing with something "otherworldly" was when she gave me description of the people that were harassing her at night. She even told me that on one occassion they followed her to her grandmas house during a sleepover. Admittedly, I was very much green during those years. I wasn't able to draw any conclusions that some of the things I had been working on or that the strange memories of my childhood were somehow related to what was happening in that house.

In 1999 many of these things were reaching to some maddening conclusion. That year I had purchased several handguns, an AR15, and a Saiga 12, one of the nastiest shotguns I have ever owned. In a word, I had an ongoing arsenal in that house that was getting almost ridiculous. Paranoia was rampant. For some reason early that summer I went on a spending spree to buy all of this stuff. A large percentage of my money went to buying things that would somehow make me fell better at night. Yet they never did make me feel better. There was something plaguing me that I wasn't even allowed to think about.

The excuse everyone in the house believed as the source of the paranoia was the fact that the man known as the Railroad Killer, (Angel Resendez) would be walking the tracks that sat about a half-mile away from our secluded home. Resendez was jumping trains nearby in Illinois and killing people. From what I remember of the story, at that time he was nowhere near us, but we were still convinced he was. Being unable to ponder the source of our paranoia it was all that we had.  We often made it a point to go outside the house armed during the day just in case we were being watched from somewhere on the wildlife preserve. We wanted whoever was around to know not to try to break in. Again, this paranoia just consumed all of us. Nobody was trying to be tough, the reality is that we were all very much scared for reasons nobody understood.

Shortly before this time someone had made it into the house one night and was rummaging through cupboards. What disturbed everyone in the house is that there was a glass jar full of money that they didn't bother taking even though it was in plain sight. Therefore to us, these were not people interested in taking money. Immediately we thought the worst. Was it a deranged psycho? A pervert?  What did they want if not money?

Back to 1997. Now before all of this ramped up to the irrational paranoia it did in 1999, I was catching tiny glimpses of strange going ons. All of these things began to invade my reality during the time the Hale-Bopp comet had become visible in the night sky. I remember falling asleep downstairs one night and waking up near midnight. I walked over to the patio sliding doors where I saw a train in the distance. I quickly noticed that one of the rail cars was actually on fire. As it was going through it was lighting nearby shrubs on fire. I watched this event unfold in total shock for nearly ten minutes. Not more than 400 yards in front of me the entire forest was now ablaze. From there I have no recollection of going to bed, but I woke up the next morning and hiked out to the forest only to find that there had never been a fire at all. I simply couldn't explain this, but I was awake and I know what I saw.

As I was standing out in that forest looking for signs of a fire, I distinctly heard someone yelling to me, "The world ended in 1994!  It's all a crazy dream." Whoever was saying this yelled it at least four times. I remember it so well because it just sounded so strange at the time. I didn't see anyone yelling this, but this was clearly aimed directly at me. This idea of the world ending in 1994 is something I have never mentioned on this blog, but something that has arisen in my own private research on several occasions. In 2000 I met an individual that said the same thing to me, and gave credence to the date of May 10th 1994, which was the day of the solar eclipse we had that year. I personally attach a lot of significance to that day for reasons I can't entirely explain. It was not a literal ending, but the moment that the world entered a kind of fantasy reality. I don't have space to go any further with this, but I will in the near future.

Only a couple weeks after this train fire event, my daughter and I were home alone and a storm was brewing. I was standing behind the patio doors when I saw what I thought was a funnel cloud spinning almost directly above our house. I was frozen in fear by how this looked, it was almost like I was staring into a gaping black maw that was getting ready to consume us from above. I remember sweeping up my daughter and running downstairs into the basement. I have very little memory of what came next. It exists as a kind of intellectual blur. In fact, my next emerging memory is greeting everyone when they got home and telling them about this crazy storm that swept through only for them to look at me like I had lost my mind. "What storm?" There are entire months from those days that I have no memories of. While I have pay stubs and records proving that I was certainly living my ordinary life during those months, I am sometimes left wondering without any solid conclusions as to what had actually been taking place those days. Have I missed something?
Admittedly, I cannot deny that something stranger than dead people tricking people is happening. I recently emailed a picture to someone of some strange markings I have on my legs, that I believe are related to this phenomenon. It hadn't dawned on me until shortly after I sent them that in order for these marks to exist, there must be some type of physical contact taking place--that is if these markings mean anything at all. They are strange enough to make me believe that something that touches the physical is at work in all of this. So I feel it is unwise to reduce all of this to a phenomenon of mind alone. To what extent it is physical I don't know. What I do know is that there are many cover events that often seem to mask what has really taken place. I am not talking about simple screen memories here. I am talking about something much further reaching than that.

By Way Of Joy And Terror

2011-11-05T18:09:00.001-07:00

There is a renewed interest in gnosticism these days. The gnostic view has actually been a motivational current for many writers, particularly those that dabble in the realm of science fiction, superhero comics, and many others. It would be fair for me to say that this gnostic view is something that goes against my own proclivities in many ways. Some have considered gnosticism a kind of storehouse of wisdom, but realistically that is quite a stretch. I need to point out the very obvious but overlooked fact that modern humanity has already accepted gnosticism philosophically, socially and spiritually by accepting the idea that people are an individual consciousness embedded into a physical matrix.

The problem with the early gnostics, christian gnostics, and even the cathars is that their philosophies from the beginning have been life-denying and even legalistic. Don't eat meat. Don't have sex. Don't have children.  The material world is evil. The God this world is evil.  Yahweh is Yaldabaoth. Most of the people that I have known that have taken this Gnostic view don't really take it as far as their fore bearers. Who can blame them? Most people like to eat, have sex, and live a normal life.  I personally view the gnostic view of life as a part of a long process of descent. Plotinus suffered for many years with horrible and painful diseases. Of all the people that could have been world despising Gnostics, he was one of the few that spoke out against them. He defended tradition and never denied the importance of life or reduced it to evil. Plotinus was so revered for his wisdom that the East held him in the highest regard even to this day. The Gnostics, however, true to their life-denying principles and dishonor of self and life, have very little to say of him but continue to use his writings where it is convenient.

Gnosticism is at a profound disadvantage because it makes the same mistake as any other system that posits the idea that man is trapped in the physical world and within a physical body. We should ask ourselves how can human consciousness having no measurement and following after no law of nature (we can't even define what consciousness is) be subject to materiality to begin with? From the beginning gnosticism was flawed for just this reason. Consciousness holds the physical body. It is not the other way around.

Once humanity perceived itself as "locked in" to the human body and the physical world, philosophies like Gnosticism came to exist and gain some momentum to the point that today it is accepted by just about everyone-even those that don't realize it.  Gnosticism is ultimately the result of a mode of perception that is highly flawed. A perception that views -man in the world- instead of the world living in man.

The mark of anyone that has gone beyond the level of modern human thinking (all of which is actually gnostic) is that the world is not taking place outside of them, but rather within them.  Within every human being there is a vast alive space that is infinite and sacred, not bound to any rules or subject to death. {{I strongly recommend the writings of Douglas Harding here.  He was by no means guru, but he clearly uncovered the most natural state of human perception.}} Eternal life is real in that this sacred space, which is our truest nature, is already immortal and alive. The real problem, if I may be blunt, is that most people cannot see this vast alive space (unhindered freedom) within because there is a thick black fog obscuring the sanctuary.  To accept the tenets of gnosticism a person must revel in that black fog and be unable to penetrate it. They can neither realize that the physical body is actually a residue of something much more pristine existing beyond it. By reveling in that black fog they can only be hostile to ideas such as God, Tradition, and Transcendence-especially when these ideas are emanating from traditional forms or religion.

To put this in a more understandable way, the soul doesn't exist inside of the human physical body, the physical body exists inside of the soul. The only real way out of the mire is to go deep inside of oneself, not to some state of morbid introspection but toward a deep knowing that there is indeed something present within us, something that is actually looking out of our eyes into the physical world--a thing that is not exactly "us" as we presently view ourselves, but the second half that makes us complete, the second half that allows us to become fully human and divine in order to rejoin heaven and earth (celestial earth) in a form greater than it previously was.

In some of my most recent posts I have been writing about the hidden companion or the Seraph of the human being. I use this term similar to how Henry Corbin would use it, that man is actually a bi-unity. He contains an outward bodily form that is in fact an emanation or residue of an archetypal being that is factually his or her point of origin. I do not agree with everything Corbin writes, but I believe that he (and others) uncovered a metaphysical reality that had been forgotten for quite some time.   Our only hint of it was recorded mostly by the ancient Zoroastrians. Carl Jung to a much lesser extent (I mostly disagree with Jungian Psychology) also found bits and pieces of this metaphysical reality. It is also very likely that some though not all alchemists of the middle ages may have uncovered this bi-unity.

At some point long before human history begins, a split took place. Mythologically speaking this event is often told in a veiled form in creation myths dealing with heaven and earth being split apart or separated. In ancient times it is very obvious that people had indeed experienced many strange and direct experiences of the Gods, Goddesses, and Heroes that made up early religious expression. As time went on these direct experiences with divine beings became less and less. It is not that people got smarter and realized this was all superstition. They wouldn't have spent thousands of years carrying out ritualistic ceremonies or writing about these events if there wasn't some type of tangible result taking place. Over time this split became more real and the separation between humanity and the divine further apart until we became locked into a world that seems almost completely closed off from anything resembling what we might call "heaven" or even divine presence. This has extended even into how we view our own existence as within a physical matrix. This was not by accident or even by necessity. It is simply a natural process.

Existence implies an inherent dualism between the observer and the observed. That does not mean this dualism is contradictory or antagonistic in any way. In fact dualism can often times be complimentary. That is how dualism should be understood, and that is how it is traditionally understood. Sadly, the schools of thought that exist today try to downplay any form of dualism and imply they are wrong and evil.   These same schools often say that we must transcend teachings that deal with good and evil. Should any form of duality cease to exist, so also would life cease to exist. Without the observer there is nothing to be observed. Without the observed there can be no observer.  Very simple.

Through all of this it must be understood that God can never be the object or thing observed. This is the biggest mistake the modern religious make. And in the process they completely destroy the very idea of sacrality by way of legalism. God can never exist to our senses or be seen in this world or the next.  All that we can ever see or perceive is obviously not God because there is a transcendent nature to God that is absolute. The full revelation of God would imply a total consumption of "otherness" because nothing is able to exist in the presence of absolute sacrality. God is always the absolute subject and can only be known through the inward nature of the individual and only in very small steps. It is foolish to cry and complain when life doesn't go your way or to blame God for it. To even partake in the miracle of life is something very profound even if one is undergoing incredible adversity.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I say hello or good morning to someone and get no response in return. Even such a simple gesture is the acknowledgement and respect of another being. "Hello. I see you there and acknowledge your presence and your life and struggle in this world." I have noticed this silence more frequently the older I have gotten. When I was a young boy it was very natural for me to say hello and good morning to just about any stranger that crossed my path. Most of the time people would smile and respond back. Not so much these days. These days there is something that is off about the world, something not quite right.

In order for life to exist anywhere, an "otherness" (duality) had to be introduced. The otherness of man is his Seraph.  The otherness of the Seraph is God. The otherness of our present earth is the Celestial earth. The Seraph can only develop infinitely toward its Creator by entering into life and into domains of limitation where there are various types of dualisms (worlds) that assist its development. Otherwise it stands no chance of becoming greater than it is.  Therefore "otherness" will always be the vehicle of higher development. The Seraph learns by way of happiness, joy and love. It also learns by fear, pain and tragedy. All of these things contribute to a fuller joy of being and a fuller progression toward the primordial light of God that is emanating everything and raising it to states of life that we can't even begin to understand. The Seraph or Archetypal self is in fact a theophany or image of God projected and multiplied into a reflective "otherness" that also emanates into materiality. We must forever get rid of this horrible idea that multiplicity is bad and something we must transcend.

The human being is a container of the life of its own Seraph. But this bi-unity relationship between the human and Seraph is actually a phony appearance that is conducive to the times we live. By hiding itself God creates a being that is an image or reflection of himself.  Following this same pattern, the Seraph hides itself in the identity of an individual human. This pattern is essentially within everything. Likewise the human that possesses strong imagination partakes in this same creative process in things like visual art, music, writing stories, sculpting, designing, etc.  These things are NOT spontaneous to the human brain, they are received from a higher form of life that is more spontaneous than the human being.

When the body of an individual dies, it has two choices. It will either accept its place and unite to its Seraph (usually manifesting as "the light") awakening to the reality of what it truly is, or it will flee in shame from it. Keep in mind that the post-mortem body of a deceased human being are its thoughts and actions, some which bring it unimaginable shame, particularly when a worldly type of person is brought in the presence of something it has spent an entire lifetime denying or being hostile towards.

A human being is not here to reincarnate. The human being is here for theosis, to emanate a higher more divine quality of life even in the midst of chaos. Often times, the Seraph will expose its person to events that will challenge it in order to grow. The benefactor of human life is not the human individual, but rather the person behind the person.  Therefore the human being that is able to live selflessly without continually seeking out benefit is the person that exists in a state of resonance with its Seraph.  Nothing on earth is about attaining knowledge or having the right view philosophically or even metaphysically. This has simply been an area that has interested me all my life.  All that counts in the end is the fortitude of the human being, its bravery in the face of tribulation, and most importantly its honor.

The spiritual systems today, the new age in particular use the mantra, "what will this do for me"? I can tell you quite honestly that I will likely be forgotten ashes in a cardboard box in a relatives attic in sixty years. I, Dan Mitchell, stand to gain no further benefit in this individuality once I am gone. However, I do stand to emanate the primordial light to others in the manner that I conduct myself. I am not talking about the people that read this blog (since you all don't know me personally) but to my children, to my extended family, and to my friends that I love and sincerely care for. I could care less about clearing my chakras (I don't fully exist in a body) or inviting a native american shaman to aid me on a vision quest. The most fundamental moment of my life will be the moments shortly after I draw in my last breath when I set foot upon Chinvat Bridge to meet the being that has behind this strange trip all along. This is something I have prepared for my entire life, and as strange as it may sound to many, it is something I am looking forward to.

My own journey has been about overcoming fear, my fear of death in particular. For this reason, at the most opportunistic times I was exposed to things in my regular life such as witnessing the slow and agonizing death of my Mother, as well as being brought into the presence of human beings on the descent in the post-mortem stages of life. All of this is a reconciliation, an exploration into the nature of my own identity and what stands behind it. Through all of these things I have gained insights that have been very valuable to me.

My diatribes and rants (which they are) against modernity are not because I am a hostile curmudgeon, I write these things mostly because I have been seeing dangerous trends taking place for quite some time now. People are not what they used to be and this is a very bad thing. I view the internet itself as a kind of virtual world that has essentially aided this process of intellectual and spiritual descent. It has the tendency to confuse and deceive well-meaning people. For this reason alone I find myself drawn to writing in the hopes that someone might at the very least take these things into careful consideration and not slavish acceptance without examination.